He threw up his hands. “Ye do. Ye’re just afeared.”
The fear was true enough. Part of her longed for love, to feel as if she belonged to a family. For so long she’d wanted those things from her father, but she had never gotten them, no matter what she did. It was difficult to believe it would be any different in the future. She’d rather not be disappointed.
Angus tilted his head, looking at her uncertainly. “Ye want a wee bairn some day, dunnae ye?”
“Well, yes,” she admitted and peered down at the ground, feeling foolish.
“Then ye need a man,” he crowed.
She drew her gaze up to his. “Not just any man. I want a man who will truly love me.”
He waved a hand dismissively. Marriages of convenience were a part of life, she knew, but she would not marry unless she was in love and her potential husband loved her in return. She would support herself if she needed to.
“The other big problem with a husband for ye,” he continued, purposely avoiding, she suspected, her mention of the wordlove, “as I see it, is yer tender heart.”
“What’s wrong with a tender heart?” She raised her brow in question.
“’Tis more likely te get broken, aye?” His response was matter-of-fact.
“Nay. ’Tis more likely to have compassion,” she replied with a grin.
“We’re both right,” he announced. “Yer mama had a tender heart like ye. ’Tis why yer father’s black heart hurt her so. I dunnae care te watch the light dim in ye as it did yer mother.”
“I don’t wish for that fate, either,” she replied, trying hard not to think about how sad and distant her mother had often seemed. “Which is why I will only marry for love. And why I need to get out of England.”
“I ken that, lass, truly I do, but ye kinnae go through life alone.”
“I don’t wish to,” she defended. “But if I have to, I have you, so I’ll not be alone.” With a shudder, her heart denied the possibility that she may never find love, but she squared her shoulders.
“’Tis nae the same as a husband,” he said. “I’m old. Ye need a younger man who has the power te defend ye. And if Sir Frosty Pants ever comes after ye, you’re going te need a strong man te go against him.”
Marion snorted to cover the worry that was creeping in.
Angus moved his mouth to speak, but his reply was drowned by the sound of the supper horn blowing. “God’s bones!” Angus muttered when the sound died. “I’ve flapped my jaw too long. Ye must go now. I’ll head te the stables and start the fire as we intended. It’ll draw Andrew and Peter away if they are watching ye too closely.”
Marion looked over her shoulder at the knights, her stomach turning. She had known the plan since the day they had formed it, but now the reality of it scared her into a cold sweat. She turned back to Angus and gripped her dagger hard. “I’m afraid.”
Determination filled his expression, as if his will for her to stay out of harm would make it so. “Ye will stay safe,” he commanded. “Make yer way through the path in the woods that I showed ye, straight te Newcastle. I left ye a bag of coins under the first tree ye come te, the one with the rope tied te it. Neil will be waiting for ye by Pilgrim Gate on Pilgrim Street. The two of ye will depart from there.”
She worried her lip but nodded all the same.
“Neil has become friends with a friar who can get the two of ye out,” Angus went on. “Dunnae talk te anyone, especially any men. Ye should go unnoticed, as ye’ve never been there and won’t likely see anyone ye’ve ever come in contact with here.”
Fear tightened her lungs, but she swallowed. “I didn’t even bid anyone farewell.” Not that she really could have, nor did she think anyone would miss her other than Angus, and she would be seeing him again. Peter and Andrewhadbeen kind to her, but they were her father’s men, and she knew it well. She had been taken to the dungeon by the knights several times for punishment for transgressions that ranged from her tone not pleasing her father to his thinking she gave him a disrespectful look. Other times, they’d carried out the duty of tying her to the post for a thrashing when she’d angered her father. They had begged her forgiveness profusely but done their duties all the same. They would likely be somewhat glad they did not have to contend with such things anymore.
Eustice was both kindandthankful for Marion teaching her brother how to read, but Eustice lost all color any time someone mentioned the maid going with Marion to Froste’s home after Marion was married. She suspected the woman was afraid to go to the home of the infamous “Merciless Knight.” Eustice would likely be relieved when Marion disappeared. Not that Marion blamed her.
A small lump lodged in her throat. Would her father even mourn her loss? It wasn’t likely, and her stomach knotted at the thought.
“You’ll come as soon as you can?” she asked Angus.
“Aye. Dunnae fash yerself.”
She forced a smile. “You are already sounding like you’re back in Scotland. Don’t forget to curb that when speaking with Father.”
“I’ll remember. Now, make haste te the cliff te leave yer cloak, then head straight for Newcastle.”
“I don’t want to leave you,” she said, ashamed at the sudden rise of cowardliness in her chest and at the way her eyes stung with unshed tears.
