Damn. Damn. Damn. If he focused on the chant and the steady, fast clop of the horses’ hooves, he could keep his uncertainty away. His ploy worked for the better part of three hours, but then she fell asleep and slumped against him, soft, trusting and beautiful. Her flowery smell invaded first his nose, then his mind and finally his heart. He stared alternately between the road and her beautiful lips. Then the road and the long, slender slope of her neck. Road and black eyelashes against creamy skin.
Blast! He jerked the reins hard to the right as he almost drove them off the road. Madelaine moaned and stirred beside him, but she did not wake. No indeed. She snuggled into him, and then she flopped onto her side, her head landing in his lap and her slender fingers curling around his thigh. A sigh escaped her.
He tensed every muscle. Longing and need shot through him. He’d never allowed himself to need anyone after he’d failed to gain his father’s love, and then Madelaine had come along. She’d stolen his heart with her uniqueness and her goodness. Anger stirred. What goodness? It was a lie.
Or was it?
Was she merely a pawn in her father’s game? When he recalled her kisses, the way she looked naked, and the love he thought they’d shared, he wanted to believe in her. What would doubt do? Give her a fighting chance to escape? Would she abandon her father if she saw the king and understood what was at stake?
She moved again, her hair falling like a thick blanket over her face to hide it. He resisted the twitching urge to push the tresses behind her ears. Pain tore him apart from the inside out. Maybe this pain was his punishment.
He’d given a vow to the king and then he’d turned around and been prepared to abandon his vow. What sort of man was he? Grey laughed bitterly. He’d set out to prove himself worthy of his father’s trust and he’d proven just the opposite. Old, familiar self-pity poured through him, but he ruthlessly reined it in.
“Grey,” Madelaine whimpered in her sleep.
“Hell.” He was too weak to deny himself one more touch. Reaching down, he stroked her hair, then gently pushed it away from her face. Even scratched and dirty she was beautiful. No chant would help him now. Thoughts pounded him from every direction. He glanced down at her again. This was the last time he would allow himself to touch her. “You break my heart,” he whispered and then looked up to drive them toward Kew.
The palace at Kew sprawled across a bright green lawn with rows of lush trees surrounding the palace on either side. Any other time, Madelaine would have longed to sit in the grass occupied with nothing more than memorizing every detail of the beautiful building. Holding herself stiff on the carriage bench careful not to brush her leg against Grey’s, she dismissed the beauty around her. She needed to concentrate, but fear made it hard.
The sun cast fading rays on the lawn to join the developing shadows and cool breeze. Night was fast approaching. The darkness would certainly suit her mood better than the sunshine of the day had. It had been humiliating to wake with her head on Grey’s lap, but when he never said a word, nor spoke to her the entire trip here, her humiliation had grown.
The carriage rumbled down the stone drive toward the entrance. Once Grey pulled it to a stop, stable hands emerged to hold the horses. Grey dismounted, then held his hand out to Madelaine to help her down the three steps.
She blinked. It was hard to believe he was willing to touch her. With hesitation, she grasped his hand. He curled his fingers around hers, and his heated touch seeped through the material of her gloves. Her heart swelled. She nearly blurted out the love that was still inside of her. She looked down, afraid one glimpse of her face would reveal to Grey how she still foolishly felt about him. To be fair though, love would take time to kill if it could even be obliterated at all. Of course, the noose they intended to put around her neck would take care of her feelings soon enough. She gulped at the thought.
Grey helped Abby out of the carriage and then led them both up the steps to the front entrance. To Madelaine’s utter astonishment, the door swung open to reveal a butler and Grey’s Aunt Helen, dressed resplendently in gold.
Grey’s mouth dropped half-open. Obviously, he’d not expected his aunt to be here. “Aunt Helen?” Grey swooped through the door and dragged Madelaine behind him. Did he think she would try to escape even now?
Once they were inside and the door was shut, the angry voices somewhere close were impossible to ignore. Madelaine studied Grey’s aunt. She looked composed except for her furrowed brow.
“What are you doing here, Aunt Helen?”
“The queen requested I come to be with her, but I’m to leave today. The king wished all but family members and the doctors to leave.”
Grey nodded, his gaze straying from his aunt to the sitting room down the hall where the arguing voices appeared to be coming from.
Helen gestured to the bags sitting against the wall. “I was just about to depart. My driver is pulling my carriage around now.” Helen smiled at Madelaine. “It’s good to see you, my dear. I was worried about your abrupt departure from Court. No one seemed to really know where you had gone. Is all well?”
Grey pushed Abby toward his aunt, which saved Madelaine from having to lie. “This is Abby,” Grey said. “She needs employment and comes highly recommended. Can you take her with you as a personal favor to me and employ her?”
Helen raised her eyebrows but nodded. “It just so happens I need another lady’s maid. My current one has gotten so old she sleeps all the time. This will be perfect. Louisa can train you and eventually you can take her place. We can discuss the particulars in the carriage, if this suits you?”
Abby nodded then bit her lip as she focused on Madelaine.
Tears constricted Madelaine’s throat. Was Grey sending Abby away now so she would not be with her when they took her to the tower? She was grateful. She loved Abby and if she could save her from harm then she would. “Go, Abby.” Madelaine’s voice hitched. “There’s nothing you can do for me.”
“But, Madelaine—”
“I insist. Besides, I don’t think Lord Grey will allow you to stay. Will you, my lord?”
He shook his head, settling his gaze, cold as ice, on her. “I’m afraid not.”
She sucked in a choked breath but said nothing. Whatever he’d felt for her was gone, if it had ever been truth. Loneliness swallowed her.
Abby flung herself at Madelaine with a sob. “My lady,” she moaned.
“Grey,” Helen said, her tone halting. “Might they have a private moment to say goodbye?”
