There.That was not so bad. She sounded very stoic, though she felt as if there was a gaping hole in her chest. Still, now that she’d managed to start it off for him, she wanted to finish it quickly. So when he opened his mouth as if to speak, she held up her palm. His dark brows dipped together, but he gave a slight nod of acquiescence.
“No need to say more.” She looked down at her slippers because… Well, because she was mortified. She gave her rumpled skirts a tug so that she would not wring her hands as she spoke. “I’m certain a man like you has all sorts of beautiful, witty women falling at his feet, and I daresay you came to your senses rather quickly about wishing to court me.”
“Oh,” he said, his voice velvety, “a man like me, with a roguish past like mine, does have all sorts of beautiful women to choose from.”
Of all the nerve of him to admit it! She snapped her gaze to his and frowned. “You’d be much more charming if you didn’t think so highly of yourself.”
“In truth—” he started toward her in a way that reminded her very much of a fox on the prowl for its quarry “—I know how little I am worth,” he replied, surprising her with both his words and how he had managed to swallow the distance between them in a few strides. “Which is why…” His words trailed away as he came to stand directly in front of her, so close that she could smell the scent of paint and turpentine, and his warm breath fanned her face from above her.
Their eyes met, but his expression was unreadable, guarded, as if he was used to hiding how he really felt. And it was that which emboldened her to hold his gaze. “Which is why,” he repeated, drawing in a deep breath, “I have not touched you since that first day.”
“I’m afraid I don’t follow,” she said. Yet even as confusion beset her, so did hope.
He lifted his hand as if he was going to touch her cheek, but he fisted it and drew it back down to his side. “Yes, I’m certain you don’t. I’m mucking it up,” he said ruefully. “Do you know, I lay in bed last night and planned how to say all this to you. I’m sure you’ve never done such a ridiculous thing.”
She bit the inside of her cheek to keep from grinning as her hope went from a whisper to a ringing shout within her head. “Oh,” she replied, staring at him, “I’m sure I have in regard to you.”
His eyebrows arched high. “Really? Tell me the conversation you imagined.”
She shook her head. “You first,” she insisted.
He nodded, looking rather dejected, yet ever so handsome. “Lord Pierce has refused to withdraw the wager from the book at White’s, which means that unless we are certain things between us could work out favorably, time in public with me would be a detriment to your reputation.”
Hope and uncertainty warred within her. “Are you telling me you are very much uncertain?” she probed.
His beautiful gray eyes widened, then it was as if a light sparked within them. They danced with an emotion she could not identify. “No,” he said, the word husky and making her want to lean into him until he was forced to put his arms around her and wrap her in his embrace. She wanted to press her ear to his chest to hear his heart and feel his strength, his warmth. She wanted… She wanted so much more than she had ever dared to want before, and it was perhaps the height of folly—or the beginning of the something extraordinary, as she had secretly dreamed for many a night.
“I’m telling you I have never been more certain of wanting to court a woman than I am at this moment with you.” She couldn’t speak, she was that happy. “I’m telling you,” he continued, his voice vibrating with emotion, “that I’ve never even wanted to court a woman before you. But I’m also telling you that I cannot deliver that which I promised, and that is why I have not touched you since the first day. It is killing me. Talbot is an unmitigated ass, and he will not remove the wager, and if you are not certain of me, then—”
She rose to her tiptoes and pressed her mouth to his. His lips were warm and instantly covered hers. He sucked her upper lip between his and then her lower before sliding his tongue across the crease of her mouth. She whimpered, and he plunged inside her mouth, circling his tongue around hers, once, twice, before retreating to offer another demanding kiss. His hand threaded into her hair, and he broke away with a growl.
“There’s more,” he said, sounding and looking pained.
“Unless it has to do with you not desiring me, I don’t care.” She twined her hands around his neck and offered her lips to him once more.
“You,” he said, leaning down and brushing his lips over hers, “are a siren in the making.”
“Oh?” She laughed. “I rather like the sound of that. But only if my powers are simply to lure you to me and not to your death.”
He chuckled. “That would be preferable, but in seriousness, you must listen. My affairs are complicated.”
“I am listening,” she said, her pulse spiking at the way he was absently stroking his fingers back and forth through her hair. It was divine and made her core tighten and throb.
“My father left a mess for me.”
“I don’t care.” It was the truth.
“You must care,” he said, gazing at her in wonder.
“Fine, if you say I must, I must,” she replied, lying. She’d say just about anything in this moment to get him to touch her, kiss her, hold her.
“I can work things out eventually. I’m sure I can,” he said, sounding both determined and uncertain.
It hit her in that moment that while he appeared utterly confident outwardly, inwardly he was unsure of himself, just as she was. “I believe in you.” She set her palms to either side of his face and relished the way his stubble scrubbed across her fingers. He took a moment to find her gaze once more, and she felt deep within that she needed to tell him again that she had faith in him and his abilities. “However bad it is, I believe in you. I believe you can sort it out. And not to say you cannot, but I have a large inheritance if it comes to that. We would be fine.” It was well-known, but he had been away when it had come to her so maybe he didn’t know.
“We would be fine,” he repeated, grinning. “Weas in you and me? As in Lord and Lady Kilgore?”
She felt her eyes pop wide at how presumptuous she must have sounded. “I didn’t mean—That is to say, I—”
