A rough groan rumbled from deep within him, and then his hands skimmed lightly over the dip in her waist to encircle her. His arms settled around her midriff before he pulled her flush against the length of his body. Even if she had not felt the proof of his desire pressing into her, she would have known it by his lips, which came to the back of her neck as he brushed her hair away.
“God’s blood, Ada, ye are too much to resist.”
“Then dunnae,” she said, boldness coursing through her thicker than her blood. She yearned for him. It was a hot, frightening thing to feel so much for a man who may never give her his heart or even want hers.
She gasped as it slammed into her that shewantedhis heart, wanted to give him hers in return. It seems she’d not yet given up her dreams of love, desire, and children.
His lips blazed a fiery path down her neck, and his hands slid up between her breasts to cup them. Rational thought fled as his fingers tweaked her buds, circling them, rubbing them, making them ache, makingherache all over for more. It was the most inappropriate time, and of course they could not… They were not alone, after all.
“Ada?” It was a plea of absolute need matched by his hand sliding low to press between her legs. She hissed her need as he yanked up her wet skirts and settled his fingers to where she throbbed while his other hand continued to blissfully torment her breast. All the cold that had seeped into her was now consumed by the heat of desire for him. She wanted him to touch her, to take her as he had before.
“MacLean!” came Grant’s voice from the darkness.
William dropped her skirts and set her away from him so fast that her head spun.
“I’ve caught a rabbit!” Grant continued, his voice growing closer as he approached. “Get the fire started.”
Ada could not see William’s expression as his face was cast in shadows, but she was glad because that meant he likely could not see hers. She was grinning, no doubt looking like a fool. A fire had been started, all right, but it would not cook a rabbit.
William sat purposely across from Ada as they all ate the rabbits Grant had caught. He finally felt under control again, as if he could stop himself from touching her, kissing her, pleasuring her, but the shock of how very much he had wanted her, how he had leaped across the distance he was supposed to be putting between them, lingered.
Grant said something to Ada, and she turned her head to listen. Then she laughed. It was lyrical and from her belly and made William want to get up and sit beside her. He scowled into the flickering, popping flames. If he could not control his desire for Ada, how was he supposed to control any attachment to her?
He ground his teeth, contemplating the day and what had happened. Finally finding her and then watching her fall off the cliff had felt as if a hand had been driven through his gut to twist his insides. He’d not considered any danger to himself when he had dived into the water after her, and desperation had consumed him when he’d realized she was not breathing. One who possessed no attachment to another would not feel that way.
Esther’s words came to him as Ada, Grant, and Marjorie’s murmured conversation faded almost completely.Two sacrifices… One by Ada and one by the man who thinks to hold her heart.Ada had sacrificed for him, and then he had sacrificed for her. But he did not want to possess her heart. Did he? Was he such a fool? Was he so weak to need the affection of another, even knowing people one trusted, people one loved, always seemed to leave?
The last memory of his mother sprang into his head. She’d sat beside him on his bed, brushing her hand through his hair and singing him a song to help him sleep. Then she’d kissed his forehead and whispered that she’d see him the next morning. It had been so easy for her to tell the lie, to leave him without looking back, without even saying goodbye. Even if there was a small part of him that might want Ada’s heart, that might long for affection, he had to lock that part of him away.
With that in mind, when they were all finished eating, he threw himself into creating shelters for each of them to sleep in. If Grant or Marjorie thought it odd that there were four shelters instead of three, both of them wisely kept any comments to themselves. By the time he was done, the day had caught up to him and he was exhausted. After bidding the others a quick good night—and specifically avoiding Ada’s gaze, which he could feel on him—he left the three of them chatting by the fire and he made his way into his shelter.
He expected sleep to come quickly, but his body ached for Ada, and that kept him awake, along with the occasional sound of her enticing laughter. It didn’t help that the ground was like ice, and he’d given his only blanket to Ada. The thought that she might be cold tonight, with the dropping temperatures and the threat of snow, had him sitting up, but he forced himself back down. He could not lie beside Ada and offer her warmth. He’d never keep his hands to himself, and until he could control the weakness that was making him want to let her in, he could not touch her.
Once they rescued Bram at Trethway Island, he would take Ada to the king and then to the home the king had promised to give him where Ada could live in and be kept safe. After she was settled there, William would depart. He stared up at the sliver of moonlight he could see through the branches he’d fashioned around him and above him. Once he was separated from Ada for a time, he was certain that controlling his emotions would become easier, so when he saw her again, they could enjoy the carnal side of their relationship without his risking her seeping into places he could not allow her to be. It did not escape his notice that his decision did not fill him with warmth but a chill that matched the iciness of the ground upon which he lay.
