Sixteen
What in Heaven’s name just happened?
She’d not meant to get angry, but he’d vexed her. Still seething, Patience stomped toward the kitchens, aware of William striding silently behind her. But even if she were not so angry, she did not know what to say to the man. He was Brodee’s friend. She inhaled slowly, trying to calm her roiling thoughts and order them. Once her heart quit racing, she tried to analyze the morning from when she’d awoken in bed alone.
She’d roused herself and dressed quickly with the intent of finding Brodee and spending time with him. She could not imagine after what they’d shared in his bedchamber that the man would not want to attempt to open up to her as she wished to open up to him. To really get to know him and learn of his life before he’d met her. His hopes. His fears. To snatch up the shiny future that dangled in her sight.
How could she have been so wrong? And how the devil was he so stubborn? Maybe there would be no reaching him. Maybe all she would ever be to him was a duty he had to fulfill. An enjoyable one, at least at night. The man could not deny that. He’d groaned just as loudly as she had last night, but now that she’d tasted passion, tasted what could be, and seen the tenderness in him that lurked under the armor he wore, she wanted more. She wanted what she’d never believed possible. She wanted to love her husband and be loved in return.
Tears filled her eyes, and she quickly blinked them away and swiped the evidence off her cheeks.A duty.He’d called her a duty. And worse than that was his demeanor this morning. He’d been cold, withdrawn. Absent were the gentle touches of last night, and even the tender looks he’d given her during the day before. It was as if what they had shared scared him, and he’d closed off some part of him. And she had no notion how to get back to the place they’d just found.
Blast, this tasting of what could be was worse than never having known it. As they neared the kitchens, she wanted to scream her frustration. Instead, she balled her hands into fists and forced a smile to her lips. “Thank ye,” she said, turning to William.
“I’d have thought ye had more fight in ye than that, considering what ye have endured,” William said, crossing his arms over his chest.
“I beg yer pardon?”
“He’s waging a war,” he said, staring at her with an expectant look.
“Who? Brodee?”
The expectant look turned to one of exasperation. “Who else?”
“Indeed,” she said, a trifle irritated herself now. She was not a seer, after all. He acted as if she could read his thoughts! “And with whom is he waging this war?”
“I kinnae say. That would be a breach of trust, and I owe the man my life. I would nae ever breach his trust.”
“Certainly nae,” she quickly replied, hope infusing her. “I suppose the war must be with himself,” she guessed, given what Brodee had admitted to her. She held her breath, waiting for William to confirm it.
“I kinnae say,” he repeated with a shrug. “But he did say ye are an intelligent lass, and I’d have to agree from what I’ve seen. When I am trying to seize a castle, do ye ken what I do?”
“Attack?”
“Aye. I attack the castle—and the men who are waging war against me. They put up the barriers, and I tear them down with persistence and determination. I use my best weapons, too—my mind and my sword. What do ye suppose is yer best weapon? I mean, if ye were ever to need to wage a war.”
She thought about that and where William was clearly trying to lead her without saying things outright. “My mind?”
He nodded. “’Tis a good start. Men are simple creatures, lass.” He paused. “Of course,I’mnae.”
She laughed. “Nay, of course nae.”
“But,” he continued, rubbing at the stubble on his chin and looking contemplative, “I have seen great lairds defeated by their desire for a woman. Have ye ever seen such a thing?”
“Nay,” she whispered, but she grinned. “Are ye telling me to wage war on Brodee with my…womanly charms?”
He shook his head and threw up his hands. “I did nae say that.” Then he gave her a long, pointed look. “Ye did.”
“He is different this morning, though,” she said. “Withdrawn. Cold. As if he put up a wall.”
“’Tis natural. I would think ye breached his defenses last night…”
“How do ye—”
“My bedchamber is two doors down,” he said, matter-of-fact, his mouth twisting into a knowing smile.
Her cheeks burned with the knowledge that he’d heard them.
“When Brodee and I have attacked castles, and it seems we may nae win, he always retreats briefly, analyzes the situation, and regroups with a new strategy.”
