Patience’s brow furrowed as she stared at her friend. “Is this about Brodee, or is this about Silas? Perhaps both men?” It was a half guess, but half suspicion, that Kinsey had not been fully honest moments ago. Despite Silas being horrible to Patience, she’d not once seen him be anything but kind to his sister. As she thought about it now, Silas had been protective of Kinsey. In fact, Patience had wished that Silas would treat her with the same regard he had treated Kinsey.
“Ye miss Silas, dunnae ye?” Patience asked, gentling her tone. “Ye said my moving on from him did nae bother ye, but it does truly, dunnae it?”
Kinsey visibly stiffened at the question, but then her shoulders drooped and a bleak look swept her face. She dropped her gaze from Patience to the floor. “Aye. I do. I’m sorry I do. I ken he was a horrid person,” she said, her voice tight. “I ken he was nae good to ye, but he was my brother, and I…I…”
“Ye loved him,” Patience finished.
Kinsey’s head jerked up, and a startled gaze settled on Patience. Patience quickly patted Kinsey’s arm. “It’s all right. He was yer brother. It’s natural that ye loved him, despite the things he did to me. He was nae that way to ye.”
Kinsey opened and shut her mouth, and a pained expression crossed her face. “Nay,” she said in a choked whisper. “He was good to me.”
Impulsively, Patience hugged the woman to her. “I am sorry for yer loss, and I do understand ye’re feeling as if I’m going to replace Silas with Brodee, but ye must stop this now.” She could not say she was sorry for the loss of Silas, because it was simply not true.
Kinsey pulled away from Patience and swiped at the tears that trickled down her face. Patience felt horrible. Had she been too harsh, too blunt with her words? Finally, the woman said, “Ye are right, Patience. Please forgive me. I’m horrid. I ken Silas was nae good. I ken he did evil things, and I ken yer husband only killed him in defense when Silas tried to kill him. I dunnae harbor hatred over that. I just,” she quirked her mouth as if looking for the words to explain herself, “I’m already forgetting him,” she finished in a near whisper.
“Nae anyone else here seems to wish to remember him. Nae even the warriors who were supposed to be loyal to him. They have a new laird now, so they dunnae even speak of Silas. And I just thought, well I just thought—” She pressed her fingers to her temples as her tears trickled. Patience’s heart squeezed for Kinsey’s sorrow. Silas did not deserve Kinsey’s tears, but that did nae mean the woman did not feel true sorrow. “I dunnae what I thought. Her voice was resigned. Heavy and filled with regret. Her gaze met Patience’s. “I suppose deep within I did nae want Blackswell to have ye since ye had been Silas’s wife, even though, even though—” She lifted her shoulders in a helpless gesture. “Even though ’twas nae fair to ye. I understand if ye need to tell Blackswell. I imagine he’ll send me away.”
Kinsey had done no real harm, other than passing on whispers she’d heard and exaggerating things she’d seen, and Patience did understand what had driven her. After all, she loved her own brother Duff, and she suspected it would be hard for her to see him easily forgotten and replaced. “No harm has been done,” Patience said. “This can stay between us.” Patience squeezed Kinsey’s shoulder. “I dunnae expect ye to forget Silas, but I would ask that ye give Brodee a chance.”
“I will!” Kinsey said, and pulled Patience close for a hug. “I vow it.” The woman pulled away and offered Patience a wobbly smile. “I think I’ll go lie down. I’ve a pain in my head.”
Patience nodded. She suspected Kinsey wanted to simply be alone, and she understood that. “I’ll see ye later.”
Kinsey nodded and strolled away, and Patience stood there, processing all that had just happened. More than ever, she wanted to go find Brodee and really discover who her new husband was. She whirled around to find William approaching her.
She smiled. “I was just coming to find ye.”
He grinned back, two dimples appearing. “Well, I was sent to find ye. Brodee is quite irritated with ye.”
She thought she knew why. She had slipped away from Fergus earlier. “I dunnae need a shadow in the castle.”
William arched his eyebrows. “Ye’re changing.”
She nodded and tried to stop the smile, but it was hopeless.
He chuckled. “I’m glad to see it. A man like Blackswell needs a lass with a spine of steel.”
“Ye think I’m strong?” she asked, astonished.
“Aye. Ye would have to be to survive what ye have.”
She tilted her head. “Do ye mean Jane’s husband?”
William shifted from foot to foot, and an uncomfortable look crossing his face. “Well, aye, but nae just that man. I’m speaking of yer past.”
Patience’s cheeks grew hot. “What do ye ken of my past?”
“I ken yer first husband beat ye, and Kincaide, well…” William shrugged. “All I ken is that he was cruel to ye in a different way, though. I dunnae ken what that was exactly, but I can imagine.”
Cul.It had to have been Cul who told William since Cul had been in the kitchens when she’d spoken of her past. And if he’d told William, had he told Brodee? “Does Brodee ken this, as well?”
“Aye.” She pressed her lips together on her annoyance. She wasn’t really irritated with Cul. He’d likely thought he was helping her. She was vexed by the fact that almost everything she and Brodee knew of each other had come from someone else revealing it. That was not the sort of marriage she wanted nor did she think she and Brodee could truly come to know each other that way.
“I think it’s time my husband and I come to ken each other,” she said, half contemplating if Brodee had been avoiding being alone with her because of what he’d learned.
A slow smile curved William’s lips. “I could nae agree more. He’s in the courtyard fighting his demons.”
She had to wonder if those demons had to do with the women he supposedly killed.
“Go to him,” William said.
She paused a moment. “Have ye kenned him a long time, William?”
He shook his head. “Nay. I was sent on a mission last year with his brother, Broch. ’Tis a long story, and one ye need to hear from Brodee, nae me, but I met him during that mission, and after I left and did nae reappear where I was supposed to, the king ordered Blackswell to come find me. He saved me. Ye dunnae need to fear him. He is ruthless, but only when it is called for. And mostly to himself… Would ye like a piece of advice?”
She nodded.
“Dunnae lie to him,” he counseled. “He values honesty above all. His father lied to him for years, and it caused a great deal of pain for him.”
“I’ll remember that,” she promised, glad she had all but admitted she was not crazy.
