Six
“For a man who has long claimed he dunnae have a desire to be wed, ye certainly kissed yer new wife with what appeared, to my discerning eye, as an abundance of enthusiasm,” William said just before he took a swig of the wine he’d helped himself to in what was now Brodee’s solar.
“If ye were anyone else under my command, Will, I’d seriously consider cutting out yer tongue for insubordination.”
William lowered the goblet, pressed to his lips together, and then grinned. “Well, I’m nae anyone else, and I ken what others dunnae.”
God above knew that was true. They knew things about each other that no one else did. Instead of asking what he meant, which Brodee knew William was waiting for him to do, Brodee poured himself a goblet of wine, found a seat, crossed his legs at the ankles, and took a long drink, allowing the liquid to slide down his throat to his belly, in hopes it would move along to other parts of his body and dampen the lust Patience had awoken in him.
He’d had women in the years since Arabel had died, and it wasn’t that he hadn’t wanted them, but it had been more like a scratch that needed to be itched just so the uncomfortableness would go away. The kiss he’d shared with Patience, however, had elicited a storm of yearning. He’d not planned on kissing to end the wedding ceremony, and he wasn’t quite sure how his lips had ended up on hers. Frankly, his good sense had left him when she’d blurted out that she had hoped never to speak wedding vows again and then implied with her silence that it was because of her dishonorable dead husband.
Why? Why had that bothered him? He’d spent years training himself not to need or care if someone denied him or found him lacking in some way, and he wasn’t even convinced Patience had loved Kincaide.That was it!It was because he suspected shehadn’tloved the man that it felt personal that she did not want him at all.
“Am I going to have to wait all night for ye to ask me what I ken that others dunnae?” William inquired, drawing Brodee’s attention to his friend once more.
Brodee decided to play William’s little game, if only to draw his thought away from Patience. “What do ye ken about me that others dunnae?”
“Finally!” William said. “Ye dunnae dispute yer reputation when others mention it, though it’s false.” He gave Brodee a long look. “Letting yer enemies believe ye to be savage keeps them scairt and those who’d try to get close to ye at a distance.”
“My reputation ensures that many a fool who would oppose us dunnae, and that spares lives,” Brodee replied, correcting William.
“As I said.” William winked. “It keeps yer enemies scairt and those who’d try to get close to ye at a distance.”
Brodee leveled William with a scowl. “I did nae say a word about keeping anyone at a distance.”
William took another swig of wine and shrugged. “Ye did nae have to. I ken ye. I already kenned yer aim was to spare lives.” He took a seat in the chair across from Brodee and leaned forward, as if he was about to reveal a secret. “Ye forget I’ve been fighting by yer side for over a year.”
“I did nae forget,” Brodee responded, leaning forward to reveal a few of the secrets he kept of William’s. He saw what William was trying to do. Make Brodee analyze himself, and he didn’t want to any more than William did. Mutual ignorance of the past was one of the things that had bonded them as friends. “Ye forget I ken what drove ye to seek out the Dark Riders to train ye.”
William’s face darkened. “We are nae talking about me.”
“We will be, if ye push me to talk about myself.”
William frowned at Brodee. “All I was going to say is I’ve watched ye for a year in the battles, and ye did all ye could to avoid killing other men, even enemies who were determined to kill ye. And I watched ye after battles, too. Ye rarely took women to yer bed, and when ye did, ye chose carefully. Ye picked women who did nae want more from ye than a night of pleasure.”
Brodee’s temple began to pulse with annoyance. “Ye waste yer time watching me so closely, Will,” he said, hoping it would end the conversation.
“Nay.” William shook his head. “I watch ye to pattern myself after ye.”
“What?” He could not have heard correctly.
“Ye have respect,” William said. “Of the men who fight under ye, of the king, of lairds and commoners alike. Hell, even of yer enemies when they come to see how honorable ye are. I want respect. I want to wipe away the dark cloud that hangs over me. I see how the men, even the king, eye me. As if I may one day betray them as my brother did. I want them to look at me with trust and respect as they do ye. So I watch ye.” William let out a long sigh and set his wine goblet on the floor by his feet before threading his fingers together. “I watch ye to learn, to emulate, so that I can be the sort of man people look to for guidance.”
Brodee felt his mouth drop open. Growing up, he’d struggled to gain even his father’s esteem. He had always made Brodee feel not good enough. Not purposely, Brodee knew that now, but that did not wipe away how his father had made him feel. Then he’d struggled to gain the respect of his clan, who’d feared him more than respected him, unsure in their hearts whether he was a murderer or not. The memory made his fists clench, recalling how people had thought he’d possibly killed Arabel, whom he’d loved, and Lenora, whom he’d not loved but was supposed to wed to keep the peace between their clans. When the truth had finally come out years later, that a man who’d long hated his family had killed the women, he’d expected to feel differently, to feel as if his clan now respected him, but he’d felt the same. So he’d left.
Brodee ran a hand through his hair, feeling a new burden, the heavy one of William’s admiration. It wasn’t unwelcome, just surprising. “I did nae expect to be curious about her,” he said low, admitting a truth, feeling compelled to, given what William had just shared.
William nodded. “I figured as much. But yearecurious?” William hitched up his dark brows.
Brodee gave a reluctant nod.
“Ye look so forlorn about it,” William said with a chuckle.
“’Tis the God’s truth, it makes me feel forlorn,” Brodee said honestly.
The smile that had been on William’s face quickly faded. “Why? Because of Arabel?”
“Will.” The one word was a warning.
