Lena quirked her mouth. Marsaili had actually seemed remote, distant, and distracted, but pointing it out to her would not help anything. Besides, Lena knew how it was to feel out of place, and it occurred to her now that perhaps Marsaili had volunteered to come to Duart because she had thought Lena would need her more than she had. Guilt flared inside Lena as she thought on how little time she had actually spent with Marsaili on the ship. Proving to Alex that she was capable had consumed much of her time. Mayhap Marsaili had thought Lena and Alex would not rub well, and she had come to protect Lena. That was the sort of thing Marsaili would do.
Lena set down her wine goblet and patted Marsaili’s hand. “I dunnae believe I properly thanked ye for offering to come with me to Duart.”
A startled look crossed Marsaili’s face. “Ye dunnae need to thank me,” she said, her lips pinched.
Lena frowned. She was not making any progress with Marsaili using this tact. Being direct had always served her well, so that’s what she would do. She took a deep breath and asked, “Are ye cross with me because ye thought I would need ye more? That I might possibly fall to pieces with Alex? Or that ye would need to defend me from him, and now ye feel unneeded? I assure ye, I am verra glad of yer company in a sea of strangers.”
Marsaili gave her a tight smile. “I’m nae cross with ye. And I’m glad that ye seem less fearful of yer new husband. The truth is—” Marsaili leaned close and whispered “—I worried for ye when Alex departed so abruptly after his harsh words with the king. I—” She shifted her gaze away from Lena to Alex and then settled her attention upon Lena once more. “I wanted to be here for ye in case he broke with the king and ye needed to return home to Dunvegan. ’Tis why Iain sent Broch, ye ken.”
Lena felt her brows dip as she scowled. She’d suspected Iain was worried, too, since he went to the effort to send Broch, but she did not believe for a breath that her brother would truly think Alex would forsake the king and support the Steward. She had thought that Iain had sent Broch to watch over her in case she became so distraught at being wed to Alex that she tried to flee. Her cheeks heated at the concern she had likely caused, yet she did not think she could have helped it. Never would she have thought it possible that she could feel comfortable and safe in a man’s presence again, yet she did in Alex’s. She prayed she would feel the same when the time came for them to join.
“Alex is honorable,” Lena whispered. “He will nae forsake the king whether they have disagreed or nae.” She decided not to mention that Alex was going to go see the Steward, though, as he had vowed that it was not to pledge himself to the king’s nephew. He had asked her for his trust, and she intended to give it unless he proved himself unworthy.
And then what?a little voice asked.
She didn’t have an answer, so she pushed the voice away. Still, she’d not give fodder to Marsaili’s suspicions.
“Ye’re awfully contemplative,” Marsaili said, her eyes searching Lena’s face. “Did yer husband say something to ye that ye are hiding? I vow I’ll nae say a word.”
“He said naught about pledging himself to the Steward, I vow it. Now,” she said, because she desperately wished to change the subject before she was forced to lie to Marsaili, “I’ve been wanting to speak to ye for a long while about the letter ye received from yer da.”
“Why?” Marsaili demanded, her tone sharp and defensive.
Lena had liked Marsaili from the first day she met her. They had both lived through abuse, and neither of them felt quite as if they had a place at Dunvegan. Marsaili had been kind and caring to Lena, but the more Lena thought upon it as they talked, the more she was sure that the change in Marsaili had come with the note from her father, or at least started with the note. “I care about ye, Marsaili, and ye have been withdrawn and angry since receiving the letter. What did it say?”
Marsaili’s shoulders slumped, and she looked rather like a sail that had lost all its wind. She reached for her wine goblet with a shaking hand, took a long drink, and then set the goblet down. “I never told ye this—I’ve never told anyone this, actually—but I once thought myself to be in love.” The scorn and anger in her voice was all Lena needed to understand that Marsaili’s feelings had not been reciprocated.
“Tell me of him,” Lena encouraged. Her own recent experience with Alex made her realize that sometimes talking of painful things really did help.
Marsaili plucked at a nonexistent piece of thread on her sleeve. “I was desperate to feel loved. Ye must ken this. I beg ye nae to judge me too harshly, nae now nor later.”
“Later?”
Marsaili bit her lip. “Now. I meant only now.” Lena nodded, and Marsaili took a deep breath. “He was, perchance he still is, beautiful. It seems foolish to say a man is beautiful, but he was.”
“It dunnae seem foolish to me.” A picture of Alex lying on his back with his head resting on his arm flashed in Lena’s mind. “I think Alex is beautiful,” she said softly.
Marsaili’s eyes grew wide. “Ye like him? Ye truly like him?”
Lena nodded. “I kinnae explain it, but he has somehow made me feel less afraid.”
“Oh, Lena!” Marsaili said, her voice a mixture of happiness and worry. “Guard yer heart,” she implored. “What if he truly does end up betraying the king? Surely, ye kinnae live with a man who would do such a thing? Ye would have to return to Dunvegan.”
Lena scowled at her half sister. “I told ye, Alex would nae forsake the king.”
“I ken ye did, but men are capable of all sorts of treachery. I ken this well.”
“The man ye thought ye loved?” Lena asked, believing Marsaili must be referring to him.
“Oh, aye! Him, my da, many others. The man visited our castle with his da. I’d nae ever had attention from anyone before. I’d been treated little better than a dog by my da, stepmother, and brothers. When he saw me—I mean,trulylooked at me—I believe that was all it took for me to fall in love. Or at least I thought I was in love.”
“Who is this man?”
Marsaili shook her head. “I’ll nae say. I see that murderous gleam in yer eye, and I dunnae want ye to seek him out or ask yer husband to do so.”
“I’d nae do that!” Lena exclaimed, though it had been the exact thought that had crossed her mind.
Marsaili offered the semblance of a smile. “Ye are so verra fierce on behalf of those ye love.” Tears brimmed in her half sister’s eyes. “I am so lucky to have received yer loyalty for a time.”
