She delighted in the small but important victory for one breath, before her yearning for him took over and she rose on her tiptoes and brushed her lips to his, seeking in her tired mind one of the lessons of seduction Bridgette had imparted. She reached her hand between them, clasped his groin, and squeezed. A hard growl came from him as he pulled her securely against his chest and possessed her mouth with his. He kissed her with the same frenzied need of the night before, and her passion rose like a swift tide to meet his.
Before she knew what he was doing, he lifted her off her feet and carried her to his bedchamber. He kicked open the door, and as he brought her into the room, he shut it with his foot. As he started toward the bed, his steps faltered, and she feared he was starting to think about what he was doing and how he had lost control for a moment.
“Set me down,” she commanded and tried to instill a note of huskiness in her voice.
He looked at her with surprise and set her on her feet. With slow, purposeful movements, she stripped her clothes off until she stood as naked as the day she was born. Then she crawled onto his bed, glanced behind her, and was pleased and hopeful to find him staring at her open-mouthed with his hands curled into fists by his sides.
She licked her lips slowly, caught his gaze with hers, and said, “I want ye to take me from behind.” She could hardly believe she had uttered such words, but Bridgette assured her it could be enjoyable and that Graham would likely nae be able to resist such an offer.
“Ye what?” he asked, his voice sounding strained.
“Ye heard me,” she replied. “Take me, Graham. Claim me.”
“A Dia!”he groaned before closing the space that separated them. Her body flamed from fear of the unknown and then to intense desire when he unclothed. He came onto the bed and crawled toward her with the look of a predator.
His fire consumed her before he even touched her, but when his hands came to her—searching, seeking, scorching with every caress—triumph flared with hope. Was this the unguarded moment when love might have a chance to enter his heart? When he realized longing was good, and she would give all to him that he asked, if he would only give to her in return?
His lips blazed across her neck, her back, her buttocks. And while he made her squirm and become breathless with the passion of his kisses, his hands sought the juncture between her thighs, delved between, and brought her such pleasure she forgot she was supposed to be seducinghim.
As the need within her grew tauter with every stroke of his fingers, she begged him to take her. He brought one hand gently to her collarbone, while the other pressed low on her belly, and he slid into her with exquisite care, setting a pace of slow strokes that nearly drove her out of her head. When her insides clenched and her body pulsed in hot waves around him, she threw her head back in surrender. As she found her release from the blissful torment, she felt him tense and growl and knew he had also found his.
When he rolled off her, she flipped onto her back and looked over at him as he slid onto his and moved one arm behind him to rest his head. She could not contain how she felt. “I love ye, Graham,” she whispered.
The change in him was swifter than water releasing from the sky. He jerked his gaze to her, all his body rippling with a tenseness that consumed the room. The hot passion in his eyes changed to cold fury, but whether it was at himself or her she did not know. And it truly did not matter. His response was like a blow to her soul.
“Dunnae love me,” he ordered in a ruthless tone. “I told ye that I kinnae love ye back.” He scrambled off the bed, and she saw that he was trembling. “I kinnae return the gift ye wish to give me, and I dunnae want to hurt ye. Dunnae love me,” he repeated. “I’ve wickedness in me that, when not controlled, makes me weak.” He turned from her and swiftly dressed.
“Too late for both,” she whispered. He stilled for a moment but did not turn to her.
Tears flowed freely down her face as she watched him exit his bedchamber and shut the door. She curled into a small ball, much the way she used to do on her mat in the convent at night, feeling so lonely and unloved. Her emotions careened from hopelessness, to a certainty that she was foolish to try to gain his love, to fierce determination to win his battered heart. Then his parting words rang in her head.
She sat up with a jerk. Marion and Bridgette had been right. Isobel sobbed so hard she could not catch her breath. She saw it so clearly now, but she had no notion how to help him other than offer love that he may never take. She did not know how long she could lay her heart bare to him and allow him to trample on it, but she would do it as long as she could and pray it would be enough.
Chapter Nineteen
For the next week Graham avoided being alone with Isobel or coming into close contact with her, yet he knew where she was every moment of the day. Without seeing her, he could sense her. When she entered a room, he immediately recognized her scent or the sound of her voice. He kept himself apart from her because he could not let himself forget how he had almost succumbed to the longing inside him. He had overheard her tell Lena that joining with a man was beautiful when he was good, passionate, and gentle. He had been astounded and fearful to hear her say she thought him good because, deep within, he was sure he would disappoint her and then she would know he was not worthy of her love.
Every day he broke his fast before anyone else had awoken, and several mornings he rode into the woods to hunt, asking Lachlan to train in his place. Graham sought peace and quiet, but there was no peace or quiet to be found, even in solitude. His head rang with her voice, her declaration of love, her murmurings that it was too late for him not to hurt her when he had stormed away from her. He could not make her voice fade, and it made him testy and stewing to battle. He noted his brothers watching him warily the first three days, and on the fourth day, when he was told she had gone to the shore, he stormed down, intent on confronting her, but he stayed in the shadows when he realized she was safely surrounded by his brothers and their wives.
He devoured the sight of her like a man who had not eaten or drunk in weeks, hungrily soaking up every detail—the way her hair curled against her breasts, the shades of mahogany in the chestnut strands that glittered in the bright sun, the blue gown that clung to her hips, and the sun-kissed hue of her skin, which told him she had been outside more than he had known. When she started to make her way back to the castle, he knew he should move so that she would not see him, but he could not find the will to do so.
Though a great space divided them as he was on the seagate stairs and she was on the shore, their eyes locked. He felt as if all the air was sucked from his lungs when she raised a hand to her eyes to shield them from the sun, cocked her head, and smiled her beautiful, devastating smile. Each thud of his heart thundered in his ears as he memorized how it curved her lips, but when she mouthedI love you, he turned and walked slowly away, each step harder to take than the one before.
Later that day, he took down every warrior he went against, including Iain and Lachlan. As the men left the training field, he gathered his weapons, and when he looked up, Lachlan stood there studying him. “Ye are driving yerself mad,” his brother said simply.
“Nay,” Graham growled. “I am doing what must be done.”
Lachlan shook his head. “Careful, Brother, that ye dunnae become so hardened that ye lose her.”
Graham frowned. “I kinnae lose Isobel. She is my wife.”
“If ye believe that will stop ye from losing her, ye are verra much mistaken. If ye push her too far, she will simply fall away.”
Graham shook off Lachlan’s words and retreated to his bedchamber.
The next day, trouble was reported at one of their borders and Graham volunteered to go, glad to have a reason to put actual distance between him and Isobel. He vowed to himself that by the time he returned, he would have the wall in place so securely that he could once again be around his wife and touch her, even claim her body, without feeling as if he was desperate to let her in and show her what dwelled inside his heart.
Isobel passed her time during the week by learning how to use a sword and how to ride a horse. Cameron was her teacher, albeit a very reluctant one. Actually, she had to remind him that she had saved his life and that he could at least repay her by teaching her how to defend herself in case she ever needed to and how to properly ride a horse in case she ever had to flee from an enemy.
