He pauses, but he doesn’t turn back. “No, but I can give her a piece of my mind. And then I can beat up her piece of shit boyfriend. If I can make him feel even a fraction of the way you do right now—”
“Jax!” I hiss, my eyes darting to the closed door. “Do you want someone to call security on you? Because this is how you get marched out in handcuffs. Chill the fuck out, dude.”
God, if he had said something like that out in the hallway and someoneheard him…
He shakes his head, waving a dismissive hand through the air, almost as if he’s swatting a pesky fly. My slowly rising, simmering fear morphs into true panic as he begins striding toward the door again. This airheaded fool is going to go to jail on my behalf if I don’t stop him. And God, I love the idiot so much. If he goes to jail, or gets hurt, or loses his job because of me…I’ll never forgive myself.
Jax sacrificed a lot after our dad died. While his twenty-one-year-old friends were out partying and picking up chicks every weekend, he was at home, helping me with homework or nursing me back to health every time I picked up a bout of flu from school. And I think it’senough. He’s only just recently started to live for himself again, which is why I don’t begrudge him his happiness with Maddie. If he does this—it’s a step backward, not forward.
“You would look like shit in an orange jumpsuit,” I try.
His hand reaches for the door knob.
“You can’t marry Maddison from a jail cell,” I say, the words rushing out.
Fuck, I really thought that one would work. But his hand wraps around the door handle, and my brain screams at me to do something right now, goddammit. Because he’s my big brother, and some part of me will always need him. And watching him walk away, no matter his intentions, hurts.
“I need you,” I blurt out. He pauses, although I’m too busy babbling to notice at first. My voice cracks, my heart splitting wide open as I finally lose the battle to suppress my tears. They run down my cheek, warm and sticky, as I show him all my vulnerable pieces. “Maybe they would deserve to have the snot kicked out of them, but they don’t need you like I do. You’re my big brother, and I need you here with me.” I hiccup. “Please…don’t…don’t leave me.”
Within the span of a blink and a sniffle, Jax is by my side. No, not by my side. He’s lowering the bedrail and climbing onto the tiny hospital mattress next to me. Somehow, his movements are both frantic and gentle—so fucking gentle—as he manages to scoop an arm underneath me and pull me against his side. My head is buried in the crook of his neck, soothing little shushes coming from his throat as he holds me.
“I’m sorry,” Jax croaks, his voice breaking. Although I can’t see his face, based on the way his shoulders are shaking as he clutches me to him, he must be crying. I sob, the sound catching in my throat as big, fat tears slide down my cheeks. My fingers bunch into his shirt, my response stuck in my throat as I’m overcome with emotion.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he vows. “I’m right here.”
My big brother holds me while I weep, every tear an attempt to expel my heartbreak over the events of the past twenty-four hours—although, really, it feels like I’m cleansing myself of every single hurtful, barbed word Evelyn has ever lobbied in my direction. Like I’m cleansing myself of her toxicity.
At one point, I peek my head up long enough to spot Alek’s shadow in the tiny, rectangular window of my hospital room. He’s standing with his back pressed directly to the door, arms crossed and body on alert. And even through the tears, it makes me smile because I know my big guy is standing guard. Right now, nobody is getting to me without his explicit permission. That in itself is a gift, the ability to be vulnerable while knowing my love is out there to protect me.
Maybe love hurts and maybe, in a way, that’s what broke me—seeking out love in a place I should have never sought it from. After getting beaten to within an inch of my life, it would be too easy to swear it off. But while I weep, my heart trying to mend itself, surrounded by pure, unconditional love in two very different forms, Irealize the same thing that broke me is going to glue me back together again.
And I’m going to embrace it.
I’m going to let it seep into every broken piece of me, the warmth of it soothing me until I forget it ever hurt to begin with.
Luke
Three Months Later
“Are you sure you don’t want me to go in there with you?” Alek murmurs, his warm breath fanning over my ear. I’m snuggled into his embrace, his strong arms wrapped around my waist, keeping me tight against him. Tingles dancealong my skin when his lips graze the sensitive slope down my neck and his lips curl into a self-satisfied grin at my shiver.
“I’m fine,” I reassure him, not for the first time. My big guy has barely let me out of his sight since the fateful night that sent me to the hospital. The day he drove me home—it’sourhome now, he says—he washed my hair with so much tenderness that I wept. Most of my physical injuries have now healed, but he still dotes on me like I’m a fragile, precious flower he wants to preserve.
After everything I’ve been through with Evelyn, his love is like a balm to my soul.
“I need to do this,” I say quietly. Stepping out of his embrace and squaring my shoulders, my gaze turns toward the jail in front of us. It’s a surprisingly small, nondescript brick building. Honestly, there’s nothing special about it. If it weren’t for the barbed-wire fencing and the guard’s station we had to drive past, I wouldn’t have given it much thought.
Guess there aren’t that many criminals in Cedarwood Valley.
Today, I’m cutting Evelyn out of my life for good. Seeing her one last time is for my closure, not hers. And since she’s about to be shipped off to a state prison a few hours from here, today is my last chance to speak with her unless I want to make a long trek halfway across the state. As it turns out, she’s been racking up quite the rap sheet. Not only did she get caught selling drugs, but she has some pretty hefty theft charges as well. I want to say the news surprised me, but it didn’t.
Apparently, she owed some bad people alotof money. So much money that she was willing to sell out her own son. That’s why Stoney and his friend beat the shit out of me that night: not only did Evelyn tell them I had her money, but I suspect they also wanted to send a message to her about paying up.
Stoney and his friend will also be enjoying their new prison cells for a long time to come.
Making my way inside the jail, I pass my identification to an older, white-haired guard with a bored expression. After signing in, I pass through a metal detector and follow another guard down a dimly lit hallway. As we come to a closed door, the guard swipes a badge over a sensor and the harsh buzz makes me jump. We pass through more doors, my palms becoming slick and my heart thudding.
“Luke!” Evelyn cries out, her eyes lighting up with something that looks like relief and excitement. On the other side of the glass partition, she’s wearing a khaki uniform that washes out the color of her skin. There are dark circles under her eyes, her hair has a greasy quality to it, and the wrinkles around her mouth look a little more pronounced than I remember.
