The days seemed to stretch and blur in the strange interim between exam results and departure. Mid-August slid into its final third, and the countdown to her new life in America felt both exciting and trepidatious. Relishing being timetable-less, Molly spent most mornings lying in bed longer than usual, scrolling through socials, sharing TikToks and Insta posts and SnapChatting with her friends, just like any other regular eighteen-year-old. Until every now and then a murmured reminder shoulder-barged its way through the gaggle of gossip and pouty selfies. The message was always the same.Enjoy it while you can because soon, everything will change.
For a start her thirty-seven-year-old stepfather and part-time lover wouldn’t be three doors down at the end of the hall. Her mother wouldn’t be above, on the top floor in her private suite, in very splendid isolation and as far away from Shane as she could get. Dee wouldn’t be right next door to Molly, locked away in her own little Dee-World with her noise cancelling headphones that she insisted on wearing at night to help her get to sleep.
Molly’s heart plummeted when she thought of her sister. Even if they weren’t joined at the hip, they were close. Dee shared all sorts of trivia and school gossip with her big sister, and the few secrets Dee did have, no matter how lame, Molly swore to keep them safe.
Like when Dee took all the clothes her grandma bought for Christmas back to Selfridges and swapped them for make-up she never wore and fancy sweets that gave her a migraine. Or when she played truant from school with her best friend Loretta and took the bus into Manchester, thinking it would be a great and wicked adventure. Four stops down, they panicked about the trouble they’d be in so got off and ran back to school. They were just in time for double science and swore never to do it again. Molly smiled, remembering the conversation as Dee sat on her bed, eyes wide at the trauma of it all.
‘Honestly, Molls. It’s so not fun playing truant. It’s mega stressful and I don’t know why we did it and I nearly died from exhaustion when we had to run back to school because there were no buses due. And Loretta was so glad because it was sponge and pink custard for lunch and she’d have missed it. We really learned our lesson, I can tell you!’
Molly had thought it was sweet, that Dee had wanted to be like the naughty girls but then confessed that being bad wasn’t for her. And neither did her little sister know that her big sister was being bad enough for both of them and had secrets that would shock Dee to the core. Her fragile soul couldn’t take it so Molly left Dee in ignorant bliss and with the misguided perception of her imperfect family.
Dee took comfort in the strangest of things and was a creature of habit, surrounding herself with people and routines that eased her OCD and anxiety. The fluffy bed socks that their mum always bought them for Christmas – Dee wore them religiously, even in summer. And the earphones that playedwhale music or sounds of the sea. When she’d had a bad day it wasAlvin and the Chipmunks. Bizarre as it seemed, that a teenager would watch a kiddie cartoon, their mum surmised it took Dee back to childhood where she felt safe from the outside world.
There was her little group of nerdy friends that she’d met at kindergarten and stuck with throughout primary years, Girlguiding and high school. And then family. Dee doted on their grandparents, seeing their paternal ones regularly as they only lived a few miles away in Cheadle and although their maternal ones had emigrated to France, Dee video called them every week for a catch-up.
And then there was Shane.
Dee hero-worshipped Shane in much the same way Molly’s friends had done when he came onto the scene. Molly had taken on the stereotypical role of hating her mum’s new boyfriend with a passion, steadfastly remaining loyal to the memory of her dad and basically being a huge pain in the arse.
Dee had welcomed him with open arms. ‘He’s nice, isn’t he, Molls? And we can be like a proper family with a mum and dad and Mum will be able to sit next to him on the plane to France and me and you can sit in front. And in a restaurant there won’t be a spare seat anymore.’ The simplest things brought order to Dee’s life, which made it easier for her.
With wiser eyes, Molly could now see that Dee needed a male figure in her life, someone to protect the homestead. Dee wanted two faces in the audience at her music recital, two bums on chairs at parents’ evening, two voices cheering her on at sports day. Shane gave her all that and more. While he wasn’t young enough to be the big brother figure, thank God, he floated between being a reliable stepdad and a handy, fun friend. He was there to take care of them, offer support and guidance and provide social respectability, and also be the guy who organisedfun days out to theme parks while Mum worked her arse off. What kid wouldn’t love that!
Molly often thought back to the time when Shane came into their lives and how none of them knew the effect he’d have on them all. Her more than anyone.
She was ten years old and it had been two years since her dad died. Over dinner, and such was the magnitude of the announcement that Molly still remembered what they were eating – Magda’s home-made chicken burgers and salad – their mum told them she had some exciting news.
‘Girls, I’ve got something very special I want to talk to you about.’ Julia placed her fork on the side of the plate and then took a sip of water.
Seven-year-old Dee piped up first. ‘Are we getting a dog? For my birthday.’ Dee tried every trick and date in the book to persuade their mum to get a puppy and it always fell on deaf ears.
‘No, it’s not a puppy and you know why. My allergies. It’s also not fair to expect Magda to look after it while we are out all day, she has enough to do. Pets are tying and you like flying to France too much to see your gran and granddad. I’m not going through it all again, Dee. The answer is still no.’
Molly was going through a know-it-all phase so spent her ten pence worth. ‘You just kind of did, Mum. Go through it all again, about the dog.’
Julia rolled her eyes. ‘Thank you for pointing that out, little miss smarty-pants. But this is actually about me and I really hope you’ll both be pleased about it.’
Dee was holding a sweet potato fry in front of her lips and had paused, her eyes wide, eyebrows raised. ‘Are you having a baby? I’d like a baby but a boy one. I’d more like a boy puppy but a baby will do.’
Molly’s heart started pounding as she waited for her mum’s answer, not sure if she’d be pleased if it was a yes, or how it was possible, because Lydia at school had explained how babies were made and you definitely needed a daddy for that. Which was when Molly had a light-bulb moment and guessed what her mum was going to tell them, or part of it, anyway.
‘No, I am most certainly not having a baby and I won’t be in the future so you can forget all about that idea. What I want to tell you is that… is that I’ve met someone nice, a man from the village. We’ve been out on a few dates and I’d like you to meet him.’
Molly thought her mum’s face looked like it did when she came out of the sauna room in their gym, sweaty and red, but with the same look Dee had when she’d eaten all of the Penguins out of the packet.
While Molly floundered, Dee was straight in with a barrage of questions. ‘Mum, do you have a boyfriend?’ This was followed by a giggle, then, ‘What’s he called? Do you do kissing? Is he going to be my new dad?’
‘NO.’ Molly hadn’t been able to help herself and the loud, angry word just sprang from her mouth, startling her mum and Dee who looked crestfallen, which instantly made Molly feel bad.
Julia stepped in to save the moment from erupting into tears and a tantrum. ‘No, he isnotgoing to be your new dad and Dee, Molly sounded a bit cross just then because she still misses her daddy very much and doesn’t like the idea of getting a new one, okay. Molly, please apologise to Dee for shouting.’
Not needing to be asked twice, Molly did as her mum said, more so because she hated seeing Dee cry and the fact that once she set off, it was hard to shut her up. When harmony was restored and Dee was dipping her fries into ketchup, Julia continued.
‘His name is Shane and he’s a little bit younger than me but I’m not bothered about all that nonsense because he’s good fun and makes me laugh, and he’s also very kind so, I wondered if you’d like to meet him this weekend.’ Julia looked as though she was holding her breath while Molly and Dee decided, which saved her life because it didn’t take long.
Dee. ‘Yes.’
Molly. ‘No.’
