‘I think we need to have a serious talk about your weight, or more to the point your eating habits. Everyone’s noticed you’ve lost pounds and I’ll admit I’ve been scared to broach it, but Babs said I have to and if Babs says it, I does it!’ Jimmy, as always, had chosen to lighten the mood.
Gina could tell her cheeks had flushed and for a second couldn’t look at Jimmy so focused on her fingers that were twisted into a knot. But the day was turning into one about truths and she had to be Robin-brave and Babs-honest. Looking up she met his eyes that held nothing but concern.
‘I do it when I feel like everything is going wrong and getting out of control. It’s my safety mechanism because taking charge of at least one thing in my life makes me feel stronger. It helps me cope. That’s the only way I can explain it. But at the same time it makes me feel ashamed and weak, and terrible because I know it isn’t healthy and I am letting you all down. It never gets totally out of control because usually things buck up, like now. Do you understand?’
He took both of her knotted hands in his. ‘I understand why you do it, yes. But I think it’s time you got to the bottom of why you started acting this way because I have a feeling it’s rooted in the past. I’m not going to ask you to make any promises today, but I am going to ask you to think about going to see someone just for a chat. Will you do that?’
And as much as she had the urge to yank her hands away and scream NO! Tell him she didn’t need a shrink or counselling, a tiny part of her did. She was weary of fighting off the demon inside that fed on her memories then fed on her. Enough was enough.
‘You’re right and yes, I will go and see someone. I don’t need to think about it, so I promise. I have to get it out of my system once and for all, whatever “it” is.’
His smile could always light up a room and Gina felt the warmth of Jimmy’s like it was a sunny day, right there in their lounge.
‘Oh thank God for that. I can now report back to Sergeant Major Babs that I have completed her mission and she won’t need to beat me to a pulp. And for the record, I’m so proud of you, Gina, for saying those words out loud and if you want me to come with you, anything, I will.’
‘All I want right now is to pack and get away for a few days and make up for lost time. So let’s save talking for in the car, come on,’ Gina stood and pulled him upwards. ‘When do we have to leave?’
He checked his watch. ‘In the next hour. I thought we’d stop on the way for a bite to eat…’ He was interrupted by a finger to his lips.
‘Good, we have time then… I want to show you how sorry I am for doubting you.’
Jimmy’s eyes widened and without waiting to be asked twice, led Gina from the room. As they made their way upstairs he stopped and turned, a wicked smile preceded a question. ‘Do you think we’ll need the sex phones?’
To which he received a slap from Gina. ‘NO, Jimmy. We do not need the bloody sex phones, now get up those stairs!’
And as they headed to their bedroom, happy tears clouded the way, but Gina didn’t care. She was safe, with Jimmy. Holding her hand, staying by her side and for once, instead of it all going wrong, it was all so perfectly right.
CHAPTERFORTY-SIX
ROBIN
Leaves swirledaround Robin’s feet as she made her way to Martha’s headstone. She was checking for signs that the village teenagers had been up to their shenanigans. It was the same every year around Halloween when they couldn’t resist the lure of the graveyard and scaring themselves to death once it was dark.
She was alone on her quest, save for a chap and his little dog who were picking their way between the rows, his head bowed, oblivious to her presence. She’d seen him many times before but always left him to his thoughts and that day; she was oddly glad he had his canine friend for company.Everyone needs someone, she thought as she continued on her solitary way.
In past Halloween forays, Robin had found skeleton and werewolf masks on the angel statues, no doubt some kind of dare, and empty WKD bottles, no doubt for courage. She didn’t begrudge them their spooky fun as long as they didn’t damage anything, hence why she was checking Martha’s resting place. Her unspoken duty of care to a woman she’d never met.
The other reason she’d nipped out was to avoid Nate who’d turned up unexpectedly. He’d been ominous by his absence all week. Skulking in late at night and back out again first thing. Blanching at her death-ray stare, skipping breakfast in his haste to escape. Whether it was his guilty conscience or, he’d sensed a change in her attitude towards him she had no clue, but it had been enough to postpone the showdown.
She’d heard Nate rustling around in his room while she kept vigil in Willow’s. Since she had found out about Edmund’s mind games, Robin had kept her promise and prevented him from entering Willow’s bedroom. There’d been no arguments, only a look of disdain before he turned, following her instruction to GET OUT.
It was unusual though, for Nate to be home during the day on a Saturday. He was usually at the gym, or so he said. However, seeing as he’d deigned to spend time with Willow, Robin took the opportunity to get fresh air and see Martha. As she wove her way through the leaves and graves, Robin wondered if when she returned, it would be an opportune time to grasp the nettle and have it out with him. She hated confrontation but she hated sleeping next to Edmund more.
Having reached the headstone she put Nate to the back of her mind and leant against the wall. It was far too soggy and damp to sit and she could feel a chill rising up through her wellington boots.
Digging her hands inside her overcoat that flapped in the wind, Robin said hello to Martha, speaking softly, lest her words be carried on the wind and heard by the chap tending his wife’s grave.
Just like all those who came to pay their respects, or so she imagined, Robin told her eternally sleeping friend her news. About Nate, Babs and Pete and the text she’d received the day before from Gina.
‘I’m so pleased for her. In my heart I was sure that Jimmy would never betray her, and I can’t tell you how her words lifted me because therearesome nice men left and if anyone deserves one, it’s Gina. They’re off to the Lakes for a few days and when she gets back, she’s got lots of exciting news to tell me and Willow. Very mysterious I must say, but all’s well and that’s the main thing.
‘Things aren’t so good with Babs, though, and I haven’t heard from her since Tuesday. I think she might have had a bit of a hangover after our get-together as she did give it some welly. I’ll drop her a line later, check she’s okay. It seems to me she’s made up her mind about Pete and I do feel sad for him but at the same time, I can’t imagine having that conversation, can you? Saying you’re leaving and ending a relationship. I just wouldn’t have the bottle. Yes, yes, I’m such a coward. You don’t have to remind me of that.
‘If only. How many times I’ve thought those words and now look at me. Mrs Cowardy Custard. Nate hasn’t any such qualms and once I’ve had a word with him he’ll be gone and you know what else I’ve realised, he won’t even have to have the “goodbye I’m leaving you” conversation with Willow.
‘For one I won’t allow him to upset her, and two, she probably wouldn’t take it in. I never know what she absorbs but this is one thing she certainly doesn’t need to know.
‘Oh, Martha. There’s something else, worse than the Nate business. Gina told me something terrible the other day. Something I have never been able to say out loud or admit to anyone other than you, because the words are too cruel and cold and horrible.
