Carmen scanned the drive to confirm the obvious. If her car was absent, she was too. ‘No, she texted to say she was staying out tonight. Has she not told you?’
Completely ignoring Carmen, he asked a question of his own. ‘Did she say who she was with, where they were going?’ His face was quite pale with a smudge of pink across his cheeks and she wasn’t too sure if it was caused by the cold air or anger. Wary, Carmen was vague in her reply. ‘No, just that it was a friend from work. Why, is something wrong?’
‘No, no, nothing’s wrong. Just a case of crossed wires. I thought we were meeting here but she must have meant in Manchester. My mistake. I’ll head there now, see if I can track her down. Sorry to have disturbed you, Carmen.’ And with that he turned and marched back to his car.
Feeling Arthur by her side reminded her about Caspar’s driving. ‘Oh, and Caspar, please don’t drive into the garden so fast. Remember the dogs are about and it’s the countryside, not Brands Hatch.’
But Caspar wasn’t listening. After slamming his car door and totally ignoring her request he reversed, scattered more stones and sped off like the devil and the ghost of Granny Sylvia were on his tail.
Furious, Carmen had gone straight inside and tried to ring Leonora but her phone was switched off so she’d send a text instead, letting her know what had happened and asking her to ring. She was still waiting.
Carmen was so cross about the way Caspar had behaved and resolved to have words with him the next time she saw him. And, she’d had to go out with the rake and smooth over the stones to remove the tyre tracks, which was when she noticed the side of her car had been pebble-dashed. She would get Lou to have a look at it. He’d know if it needed a respray or not and if it did, Caspar would be paying!
Thinking of Lou made her smile. Thank heaven he was nothing like flash Caspar. At least Rosina had ended up with a good man, someone who would look after her and the children properly. He was such a gentle soul, hard-working and perfect for her daughter. Even her mum had not found fault with Lou, or the fact that he and Rosina were childhood sweethearts and wanted to be married at nineteen, a year older than when she’d married Sebastian. In Granny Sylvia’s eyes Lou and Rosina could do no wrong and she’d been pleased as punch at their wedding and a linchpin when all four of Rosina’s babies came along.
They’d been such happy days, when the house was full of toddlers and babies and all their paraphernalia and Granny Sylvia had come into her own, running the family crèche while she and Rosina ran the garden centre, and Lou went off to work at the garage. Carmen had loved it, them all living under one roof and Appleton had come good, providing shelter for everyone when they needed it. A young family saving for a place of their own, a mad granny, a widow and her daughters.
Carmen knew why her mum was so keen on Lou, and why Rosina had grabbed her first love with both hands. It was because in her own way, Rosina wanted proof of the fairy-tale marriage. For love to be real and true, to be with a man who would never let her down and adore her as much as she adored him. In Lou she saw that. He was the opposite of her father. The disappointing wife beater who she’d always despised.
Thinking of Lou, and the spectre of Sebastian brought Carmen’s thoughts to Violetta. She wished her middle daughter would find someone to love, a proper relationship not the casual dates she said she went on. Sometimes she suspected her daughter was fibbing, making out she was fine and going out for dinner with men she said fell short, weren’t her type and bored her to death. That’s why she was happier alone.
If only she could meet a nice chap, perhaps someone like Bern or Lou, certainly not Caspar. Surely there was a suitable man out there, one who would love Violetta and Darcy too. They’d discussed it earlier, when her weary-looking middle child had called in unexpectedly, red-eyed and anxious, with things on her mind.
It had hurt Carmen, not that she showed it, when earlier, Violetta had unburdened herself and amongst other things had told her about Darcy’s Christmas wish for a daddy. In an instant all those prayers and wishes she’d made came flooding back.
‘Honestly, Mum, I couldn’t believe it when she said that. I was gutted, especially because she was basing her dream daddy on Kyra’s father who is a total, utter pillock.’
‘Why, what’s wrong with him?’
Violetta huffed. ‘Just believe me, he’s a prat and fake as fuck.’
‘Oh, I see. Well, I’ll have to take your word for that but he always seems so nice at school events and his wife is lovely too.’ Seeing Violetta’s look of disdain, Carmen changed tack.
‘But I do see it from Darcy’s point of view and in her innocence not only was she being honest, she was thinking of you too. I used to wish my dad would come home but that was solely for me. I never wanted another dad, just the one I’d left behind. I didn’t really consider that my mum might be lonely.’
‘Yeah, but that’s because Gran was an out-and-out man-hater and you probably knew she wouldn’t entertain another bloke in her life, so why ask for one? And Darcy doesn’t mention her real dad that much, thank God. Until now she’s just accepted that it’s the two of us. That’s why it was such a massive shock. I thought we were okay as we were.’
Carmen stood and went to put the kettle on again, feeling the need for a cup of sweet tea, her mum’s go-to solution for most things.
‘Well, my mum probably thought I was okay, but that’s because I never told her. I knew she hated my dad for what he did and I remembered her crying in bed at night when she thought I was asleep.’
‘Aw, poor Gran. I remember her as being so tough. I can’t imagine her as a young mum and being sad.’
‘I know, love, but that’s the front she put on for everyone. She changed when we came to Manchester. I suppose that’s one of the reasons I kept my thoughts to myself. She had to provide for us both and the last thing she needed was me causing problems. I wanted to protect her feelings and as I got older, I respected her so much for being a single parent, and I also respected her wish that we didn’t talk about my dad. It’s how it’s always been, or was.’
For a second, Carmen wondered if she should tell Violetta about her plans to find her dad, then decided it was the wrong time and she’d wait until Sunday when all her girls were together.
Violetta frowned. ‘So do you think Darcy wants to talk about her real dad?’
‘Perhaps. She’s never mentioned him to me and you know she talks me to death about everything so I’d be surprised if she kept something like that to herself. You did the right thing, Violetta, being honest when she asked the first time so that’s probably why she’s being honest with you in return.’ Carmen filled the teapot with boiling water as she spoke, remembering how Violetta used to ask so many questions and sometimes, share angry words.
‘Mum, can I ask you something?’
Taking the teapot over to the table Carmen gave her stock reply. ‘Always.’
‘Be honest when you answer this, but did I hurt your feelings when I used to bang on about Dad all the time?’
Pouring the tea into the waiting mugs, Carmen kept the faith and wondered if Violetta had read her mind. ‘Yes, in a way you did because a bit like Darcy, no matter how hard I tried you always wanted him back. But I got that, how could I not? My dad had an affair with another woman and chose her over me. I was lucky though. There was always a chance he would come and find me.’
