Blood rushed to her face, the heat of anger making her cheeks burn. ‘And what exactly is that supposed to mean?’
A sarcastic laugh at the other end of the line was followed by a very unhelpful remark. ‘Well, let’s face it, I might as well take holy orders because apart from not seeing you for a week, I can’t remember the last time I had any action under the sheets.’
You selfish, self-obsessed get.Leonora was raging yet somehow managed to lower her voice as she moved on to the next rail containing glittery T-shirts. ‘Why are you being like this? You know I was really rough with my you-know-what and Christmas is a mad, busy time at work so after last year’s washout I’m glad to actually have a job. So don’t start giving me a hard time, I’m not in the mood, okay?’
‘Chill out, I was only joking. I miss you, that’s all.’
Well I don’t miss you!The irritation at such a simple statement only confirmed to Leonora that she had had enough and this ridiculous relationship – because as far as she was concerned that’s what it was – should end. And the sooner the better.
‘Well, I’ve finished work for the weekend so I was going to come over to yours later. What time will you be home?’
‘Hallelujah! My fiancé finally has time for me, I’m honoured.’
Leonora bit her lip and inhaled patience, forbidding herself to respond for his sake and that of all the innocent shoppers around her. She heard a sigh, then his words that felt like he was doing her a massive honour.
‘I have one more meeting so if you like I can swing by yours and stay over. I can be there in about an hour. If you set off now we should be there at the same time.’
‘NO!’ She hadn’t meant to be so forceful and cringed when the security guard raised his eyebrows. ‘I’ll come to you. Mum’s got Bern round tonight; she’s making him a meal or something so let’s leave them in peace.’
‘We could go out to eat, then we won’t be in their way. It’s not like your house is tiny and anyway, I have plans for you… we need to make up for lost time.’
Just fuck off and take a sodding hint.Leonora’s skin was crawling and she really was running out of patience. Maybe it was better to give him the hint, prepare him for the fall. Yes, that would be kinder than wham-bam, guess what, you’re dumped.
‘Look, Caspar. I think we need to have a chat, that’s why I want to come to yours where we can speak in private.’ The silence that followed told her he was taking her words on board so preparing for an interrogation she turned her back on the nosey security guard and moved to the corner of the store.
‘Why, what do you want to talk about?’ His voice was clipped. Laced with suspicion.
Deep breath, you can do this.‘Us. I want to talk about us.’
‘And why would you want to do that? Is something wrong?’
‘Actually there is. There’s no easy way to say this but I’ve been thinking things over and I’d like a break.’ Bloody hell. She’d said it. Her legs felt a bit shaky, her mouth had gone dry and the pulse in her temple kept time with her palpitating heart.
‘Ah, right. A holiday. That’s no problem. We can have a look online tonight. Where were you thinking?’
Are you fucking kidding me?‘No, Caspar. I don’t mean I want to go on holiday. I meant a break in our relationship.’Which you knew, so stop trying to be a smart-arse.
‘Sorry… have I missed something?’ He sounded incredulous with a tinge of Caspar-style sarcasm.
‘No, you’ve not missed anything. It’s just that being apart so much these last few weeks has made me rethink stuff and…’
‘Are you breaking up with me?’ His shock was evident.
At his point Leonora bottled it and started to ramble. All the thoughts in her head came tumbling out one after the other. ‘No, well, yes… sort of.’
Hearing nothing at the other end forced her on and imagining his wide-eyed expression made her desperate to fill the gap. ‘The thing is, I’m feeling trapped and I am well aware you hate the shifts I work and it made me think that when I do open my own bistro which could be next year, I won’t have a minute spare to plan a wedding or spend every waking moment with you which made me realise that it’s not going to work, me and you, because you’re too…’
‘Too fucking what? Go on, say it. You’ve not had a problem dishing out the truth so far so don’t hold back.’
Leonora looked around at the busy shoppers and the security man who was now speaking into his radio, eyes locked on her.
The nosey bastard.
Giving him a death stare, she turned away and caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and asked the pale-faced girl who stared back a question.Are you really going to break up with your fiancé in the woolly jumper department at Selfridges?
Yes, I bloody well am!
‘Caspar, you’re just too controlling, and clingy and it really pisses me off that the only time you ask me about work is to find out who I’ve talked to and when I’ll be free, and I don’t want you to come to my house for Christmas either. I want it to be just us – family – and you’re not family.’
