‘No, I didn’t get one but I still made a contribution. I’d rather someone else be in with a chance of winning. Oooh, what have you got there?’
‘Jerk chicken, here, have a piece.’ Sam held out the package.
There was nothing that Leonora would have liked more but her break was over and she didn’t want Chef giving her the evil eye if she was late. ‘I’m fine thanks, you enjoy. I’ll see you out the back at ten, okay.’ Picking up her mug she waved at Sam who gave her the thumbs up and as she left him to eat, she was already looking forward to their drive home.
* * *
Leonora was so glad she’d been able to give Sam a lift because the rain was coming down in sheets, dousing the windscreen and causing the wipers to swish like crazy. They were heading out of the city and even though it was gone ten, they were stuck in a steady stream of traffic caused by late-night shoppers and diners.
‘Are you working over the Christmas break? I’m not. But I’ll be in for New Year and all the mayhem that entails.’ Sam was looking up at the coloured decorations that adorned Deansgate and the route out of the city.
‘Same. Aren’t we the lucky ones!’
The lights had changed to red and while they waited in the queue there was a period of comfortable silence. For no good reason other than it just came out, Leonora decided to break their usual code of conduct. ‘I’m actually dreading Christmas this year. It’s always been a bit of a weird one because my dad was killed in a car accident two weeks before. Well, actually it wasn’t really a car accident; it also involved a train. Anyway, I’m sure it’s on my mum’s mind each year, not that she ever shows it or lets what happened spoil the day – but it must be hard.’
For a second or two Sam remained quiet, like he was thinking of the right words to say. ‘Well, I’m very sorry to hear that, Leo. It must have been terrible for your mum and family. How old were you when it happened?’
The lights changed to green and Leonora drove on towards the ring road. ‘It’s okay, I wasn’t affected by the accident but I could have been. My mum was eight months pregnant with me and my dad was taking her to the antenatal appointment when he had a heart attack at the wheel of his car.’
‘Oh my, that’s dreadful.’ Sam was giving Leonora his full attention, his body turned slightly to the side.
Concentrating on the flow of traffic, Leonora shared a piece of often unspoken family history. ‘There’s an unmanned level crossing near our house and he crashed the car into the fence at the side of the barrier. The warning lights started to flash, you know, saying a train was coming and then the barriers on each side of the road came down. Mum got out of the car and tried to drag my dad out but he was too heavy. He was a big man, and stocky with it. She’s only tiny and being pregnant, had no chance, so she ran to the emergency phone box and tried to get help, but it was too late.’
‘Oh Leo, that’s awful.’ Sam sounded genuinely shocked.
‘They couldn’t stop the freight train and there was a terrible crash. The driver survived and I’m sure you can imagine what happened to my dad. Mum was lucky, too, because she only just got to safety. She saw everything though.’
‘Oh my dear, please don’t say more if it disturbs you.’
Leonora shook her head. ‘No, it’s fine. I think because I wasn’t born yet and I’ve heard the story via my sisters, in a way it doesn’t affect me as much. I never even knew my dad. It’s like I’m emotionally removed from it – although I do understand how awful it must have been, especially for my two sisters. Vi, the middle one absolutely idolised him. My elder sister Rosie was fifteen at the time and closer to my mum and my gran, who we lost last year. But I do feel like I know him, if only from my family and photos.’
Sam sighed. ‘Nevertheless it’s still very sad that you never got to meet your father or spend time with him. I am glad that your mum wasn’t injured, though, and you were delivered safely.’
‘Yes, I’m here to tell the tale. And I promise, I’m fine. I can’t miss someone I’ve never had and my mum and gran made up for everything and everyone.’
Again Sam lapsed into thought as the car sped along, free from traffic.
The only sound was of the wipers scraping the screen and amidst the silence Leonora once again found her voice and as she spoke, wondered if saying things out loud might actually be a way to ease her burden. ‘And, to make Christmas even more weird, I’m working up to ending things with my fiancé. Once I’ve done that I’ll probably upset my mum even more when I tell her that I’ve fallen in love with my ex-boyfriend who broke my heart. There, that’s an unexpected late-night confession. I bet you wished you’d caught the bus now.’ Turning sideways Leonora smiled but when she caught the shocked expression on Sam’s face her heart lurched. ‘I’m sorry. Have I really offended you? I don’t know why I blurted that out, I really don’t. I bet you think I’m a really bad person now.’
After checking the road ahead she stole another glance and saw that his expression had changed to one of slight amusement, allowing her to relax a little.
‘No, you haven’t offended me at all, Leo. Please don’t think that. These eyes have seen plenty over the years and I’ve heard stories that would make my hair straight.’ His smile was genuine and as they turned into his street, a flash of lightning lit the row of terraces on their left as Leonora pulled into a space outside his house.
Placing the car in neutral and before Sam got out, she tried to reassure him in return, not wanting to end the night on an awkward note. ‘Phew, I’m so glad. It’s on my mind all the time and even though I’ve already decided to wait until after Christmas, I think I needed to say it out loud rather than bottle it up. I haven’t told anyone apart from my best friend – but don’t worry, next time I see you I promise I’ll keep things light and not totally depress you.’
Then, in a move that both surprised and comforted her Sam placed his hand over hers where it rested on the gearstick. ‘And I promise you that I don’t mind and if you need an ear over the next few days, I am happy to listen. This time of year is tricky for lots of reasons. So many mixed emotions are stirred up, memories of good times and bad, missing the people you love, regrets, mistakes… the list goes on. I know this only too well and have my own ghosts who without fail come to visit at Christmas, year in, year out. That’s why I understand. More than you know.’
Touched by the moment of rare frankness, Leonora had to compose herself before she replied. ‘And the same goes for you, Sam. Perhaps this is the time of year we all need to be there for each other, more than usual, just in case someone is struggling.’
A moment of understanding passed between them before he patted her hand and undid his seat belt. ‘I’ll see you at work tomorrow. Take care going home, Leo, and thank you for the lift. Goodnight, dear.’
Above, the sky continued to flash and rumble but Leonora paid little attention because she was transfixed by the shadowy figure who, as Sam opened his front door, was cast in a halo of yellow-gold light that glowed from inside the hallway.
When the door closed on that brief portal to his life she pulled back onto the street and drove away. She hoped Sam’s lady friend was a good soul like him. He deserved a woman who loved him, looked after him, would be his best friend. She hoped that was the case but more than anything, on the most sodden of winter nights, she was just glad he had someone there, to welcome him home.
7
Carmen
