A smile. ‘Oh, Herbie, you say the most beautiful things but I can’t bear it, the thought of losing you now, and them, down there in the village getting on with their lives while we will have to endure the worst pain, you most of all. I want to scream, I really do.’
Gentle hand patting came next, Herbert thought it was the least he could do. ‘Shush, now. Upsetting yourself won’t do you any good and it’s breaking my heart to see you like this.’
Margaret nodded. ‘You’re right, you’re right and I’m being utterly selfish, my darling, when it is you who we should be focusing on. I will be there to hold your hand when you see the doctors and ensure every possible measure is put in place to make you comfortable when the time comes.’ Another sob escaped and the tears began to fall again, her shoulders bobbing up and down.
‘Please don’t distress yourself, my love. It was a shock, I understand.’
‘But how long have we got, Herbie? Do you feel ill now? Are you in pain? We must make the most of every moment while we can.’
‘I’m fine, my dear. I’ve been taking medication secretly for pain, which is bearable for now, and I do get very tired. I’m sure the hospital will explain more and I cannot tell you how good it will be to have someone by my side from now on.’
‘Oh, Herbie, I had no idea. You’ve hidden it all so well.’
It was then that Herbert saw a flash in her eyes, her expression changed, as though something had occurred to her but it was fleeting and when she patted his hand, he brushed the thought aside and replied. ‘I was scared, my love, scared and confused. It’s my only defence.’ He liked this, toying with her, bringing her back into line. The weepy Margaret he could handle, the one desperately in love with her innocent lover. Just as the idea entered his head, she turned and caught him by surprise.
Straightening, Margaret blew her nose and smoothed down her skirt, taking his hand in hers and he tried not to grimace as she spoke. ‘Well, that’s as may be, but I’ve had time over the last few hours to think things through and whilst we are awash with emotion, one of us has to be sensible and focus on practicalities.’
Not wanting to jump the gun or appear stupid Herbert asked, ‘Such as what, my love?’
Margaret inhaled. She didn’t look apprehensive, more like she was addressing someone of inferior intelligence who wasn’t quite following. ‘Such as protecting my interests, making funeral arrangements and, in your case most definitely, a will. I take it you have thought about what you’ll do with your estate?’
Herbert was flabbergasted, like he had smashed into an invisible brick wall and winded himself, grappling with his senses before muttering his confusion. ‘Erm, well…’
‘I thought not, and I completely understand why: your head is all over the place but time is of the essence, Herbert, and we cannot afford to shilly-shally. There is also the matter of our shared living arrangements. I was going to broach this at some point but now, in the light of things, today is as good a time as any to discuss house rules.’
Had he not felt her hand in his, the whole time, Herbert would have been convinced that nice Margaret had left the room and been replaced by her snippy twin. Feeling his eyebrows raise, he then heard the shocked tone of his own voice. ‘Rules, Margaret?’
‘Yes, rules. Naturally I wanted to make your homecoming special but you have to understand that I have lived here most of my life, for a large part of it alone and I’m used to doing things a certain way. While I have been very patient since you arrived, going forward, in the interests of a harmonious relationship, rules will be necessary.’
All Herbert could do was nod as Margaret explained.
‘I will devise a rota and share the chores between us until you are no longer able to help. Until then I will prepare dinner, seeing as your culinary skills leave much to be desired, although I’m sure breakfast and lunch are within your capabilities.’
Herbert swallowed and attempted not to look put-out as she continued.
‘Now, from what I know of others in your situation, I expect there will be nurses coming in to care for you in the latter stages. I wouldn’t dream of you going to a hospice, but while I’m one hundred per cent dedicated with regards to your emotional well-being, I’m not suited to nursing the sick.’
What else could Herbert do but agree, once he got his lips to work. ‘Of course, Margaret, but I’m hoping we have plenty of time together before all this, so let’s not dwell on it now. Until then be assured I shall do my bit while you are at work.’
Shaking her head in disagreement, Margaret held up her hand in protest. ‘This is another area where changes will be made but more of that later. Let’s stick to basics for now, like our sleeping arrangements.’
The way she was behaving, Herbert was expecting to be sent out to the shed where he’d live like a Victorian hermit, shuffling about at the amusement of his employers. As it happened, she was sending him next door, to the spare room.
‘You may not be aware, but you snore dreadfully and I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep since you arrived, however, I persevered. And yes, I enjoy having someone by my side and waking up with you in the morning, it’s just the in-between that’s intolerable.’
Herbert was starting to get a bit pissed off with her high-handed tone and found it hard to disguise the sarcasm of his response. ‘Oh, I’m sorry, Margaret. I didn’t realise, you know, having only had my own company for many years and nobody to complain.’
Margaret then patted his leg affectionately. ‘Oh don’t apologise, dearest, it’s easily solved. So, this is what I propose.’
Herbert relaxed slightly, she was proposing, not demanding. Surely a good sign.
‘We have lots of time to make up for and sadly, not too much left so we should enjoy one another as planned but afterwards, it’s best if you sleep in the spare room.’ Margaret let out a huge sigh. She cast her eyes downwards as if in thought and they were tearful when she looked up again. ‘And it has occurred to me that I shouldn’t come to rely on a warm body by my side, no matter how much I have yearned for it all these years. For this reason I need to protect my own heart, train myself to be without my one true love when the time comes.’
Then she was back to being sobbing Margaret while Herbert was stuck in his regular body and lucid mind, wondering what the hell was going on. Perhaps it was a dream.
It wasn’t.
Composing herself quickly, Margaret then smiled a sad smile and asked, ‘Is that agreeable to you, Herbie?’
