‘I wish that full moon would bugger off. It’s Burn’s Night at the weekend and we’ll miss out on the haggis, I got quite a taste for it in Scotland.’ Maude was her usual forthright self.
Dottie attempted a laugh and barely managed a smile, but it would have been wasted in the darkness. ‘I think you liked the whisky more, but I know what you mean. I’ve spent days watching the sky, waiting for it to be our turn and this time tomorrow we’ll be up there, waiting to jump. I don’t know if I can do it, you know, not now it’s actually here.’
‘Of course you can because I’m not bloody well yomping across France on my own so if I go first, don’t you dare let me down, and if you dither at the edge I’ll give you a push. That’ll do it.’
Dottie felt ridiculously grateful for that. ‘Will you promise you’ll chuck me out? And I promise if you go first, I’ll not let you down, I’ll be right behind you.’
‘Good woman, that’s what I like to hear and yes, I promise.’
Dottie had another question. ‘Why are you always so bleedin’ brave? I wish I could be like you, Maudie, I really do. You’ve got me through these last few months, and I don’t know how I’m going to cope without you. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had, you know that?’
There was silence and Dottie began to feel a little stupid, perhaps she’d gone too far, after all, Maude was from the jolly hockey sticks, stiff upper lip and off to boarding school brigade.
Maude’s voice was soft. ‘Do you know, that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.’
Dottie nudged Maude. ‘Getaway with you. I bet your posh chums say nice things all the time, you’re lovely, you are.’
Maude shook her head in the darkness. ‘No, really, I mean it. That’s why I’m so grateful I got billeted with you because for the first time ever I feel like have a true friend, who’s taken me as I am, not because of who I am, or who my parents are. The night I stayed with your family was one of my happiest memories and I shall hold it in my heart forever. Nearly all my happy times have been with you.’
Dottie didn’t know what to say because this was the first time ever that Maude had shown her heart. She was kind to a fault, generous and caring, contrasted with a wicked wit that complemented her sometimes acerbic observations.
‘Well when this is all over, you can come and stay forever, or whenever you like. They fell in love with you straight off, just like I have. You’re special, Maudie, don’t ever forget that.’
Maude reached out and Dottie reciprocated, holding her hand tightly.
‘Do you really mean that, Dottie Doolittle?’
‘Yes, I do, all of it.’
When she heard a sniff, Dottie’s heart plummeted and instinctively she let go of Maude’s hand and took her sobbing friend in her arms. ‘Oh, Maudie, please don’t cry, you have to be the tough one, you must be. Whatever is the matter?’
The tears continued for a while and when they ceased, Dottie felt Maude wipe her eyes and with her usual aplomb, she sniffed and took a breath, the stiff upper lip returning.
‘Oh, it’s just me being silly, I’m fine now, I promise. This blasted war is turning me into a softie, and we can’t have that, can we? Now we should get some sleep, it could be the last decent night’s kip we’ll get for a while.’
‘Are you sure you’re all right, Maude? It’s not fair that I expect you to carry me all the time and we all have our moments. You know you can tell me anything, don’t you?’
If Dottie could have seen Maude’s face, she knew her eyes were open, staring at the ceiling, weighing up her options, her face deadpan giving nothing away. She’d seen the look before, guarded, wary then boom, she’d be like a firework, going off in any direction to avoid opening up, the moment lost.
‘Yes, Dottie, I know that I can tell you anything, I trust you. Don’t worry, I truly am okay.’
Not satisfied, Dottie decided to test her. ‘Okay, then tell me your code name.’
Silence. ‘Why do you want to know that? We’re not supposed to say, you know the rules.’
‘It’s a test. How much we trust each other, you tell me yours and I’ll tell you mine and we will never speak of it again but at least while we are over there, if we hear it, we will know it’s each other.’
Another silence but this time just for a second. ‘Simone.’
Dottie smiled, it was a nice name, then replied. ‘Nadine.’
Maude spoke next. ‘Go to sleep, Dottie, tomorrow is a big day.’
Obeying the super brave and sensible one, Dottie did as she was told but before she closed her eyes, she once again took Maude’s hand in hers, then by the light of the moon, side by side they slept.
Dottie’s body absorbed the rumble of the engine and the vibration of the creaking metal interior of the Halifax bomber, as it cut through the clouds en route to the sky over occupied France. She had no idea that the noise of the engine would one day forever invade her dreams and herald the beginning of her nightmares, where the faces opposite and to her side, of Maude and another male agent would lose their skin and appear as hollowed out skeletons.
She was uncomfortable, her civilian clothes squashed underneath her jumpsuit and her insides felt warm from the hot toddy of rum they had just been given, a tradition before the drop. Then the fuselage was opened and a gaping hole appeared, a rush of air, bitterly cold, whooshed in. Next, they stood, a moment to glance at Maude, no words, and then the static line was hitched onto the chute, the sergeant making a show that it was attached, a gesture meant to reassure. Then the red light. Dottie was first. She sat, only 500 feet above ground, just like she’d been trained, her legs dangling over the edge of the hole, mind and body on autopilot now. Fear had taken a back seat, pride combined with reckless inevitability fuelled much needed adrenalin, because she had to jump.
