“Who what? Fit the Southern Belle, high society mold?” I released a heavy breath, realizing what an arrogant fool I’d been, how I couldn’t see the huge mistake I was making even six months ago. Now it was clearer and I didn’t want to fall back on my own self-indulgent ways.
“Your words,” my momma said. “I think Sky is accomplished, beautiful and ever since she came to this town we finally have a hairdresser who’s top-notch. I totally found it tedious to drive to Lafayette for my hair. You know she’s applied to become a Belle.”
I did a mental double-take. Why hadn’t she told me that? “A Belle? Seriously?”
“Yes, River sponsored her. Feels that she could really contribute to serving the community and with the festival you are planning we can use all the help we can get.” She smoothed down my sleeve. “Are you really moving out?” she asked anxiously. “I know it’s probably time, you are twenty-six, no longer a boy. Maybe that’s a good step for you.”
My momma looked at my daddy who was assessing my mood like a master. “What’s this about?”
Silence reigned for several moments, expectation swelling in the air. “It’s about finding out what I want and not being under your shadow or Chase’s. I need to get away from here because I find that it’s not Chase I’m angry at.”
My daddy straightened. “Oh, who are you angry at?”
“You.” I waited a beat and he blinked a couple of times.
“Me? I don’t understand.”
“I know that you’ve changed, Daddy. I see that, but you were the one who drove Chase away, and I didn’t know how to deal with that when I was a teenager.”
“So now you’re blaming me?”
“I’m not blaming you. I’m being honest with how I feel.”
“You have to leave to do that?” my momma looked dismayed that I was now angry at Daddy, but nothing in our family was ever easy. I reached out and squeezed her arm, giving her an encouraging look. “I made up with Chase, Momma. Just give me some time.”
“Amy,” my daddy said, softly. He rose and drew her against him. “All right, Jake. You go and make your discoveries.”
“And, what about the orchard? Are you selling it?” My momma’s expression startled, she stared at my daddy, alarm flickering in her eyes.
“I’m not prepared to talk about the future of the orchard right now. You leaving me high and dry there? Pulling out of the plans to do the Fall Festival?”
I stiffened. “Do you want me out?” I narrowed my eyes and stared at the horizon, trying to corral my anger. Was that because my daddy thought so little of me and my management or because I was going to lose an important and deep-seated part of my life. I wish I knew my own mind, but I didn’t.
A dull red climbing up his face, a sure sign my daddy was losing his patience. “No, dammit, boy. I want to know what you want.”
Did he really want to know or was this just a way to placate me? Inhaling deeply, I kept my gaze direct and unyielding, my anger settling into a heavy, resigned feeling. “I’ll stay on and do the Fall Festival, but afterward I want some answers, Daddy.”
“Fair enough.”
I turned, walking away, but heard my momma say, “James, you’d better start explaining what is going on.”
“In good time, Amy, my sweet. For now, let him go.”
I didn’t know what was going on. I had some thinking to do about my own life, but for now the work was still there. I grabbed my bag on the way out the door and didn’t look back as the house disappeared in my rearview.
***
If I had ever wondered what I’d really been dodging for all those years, I sure as hell found out over the next two days. At one point in this crazy roller coaster of self-discovery I wanted to get blindingly drunk again. I knew from experience that didn’t solve a thing. So instead, I worked on the Elliott grove and put myself through some of the worst body abuse and hard physical labor I’d ever heaped on myself. The grove had been neglected for a long time, but clearing the land was akin to clearing my mind.
In between planning sessions and supervision of the Harvest Festivals intricacies, I pulled brush, decimated weeds, fought wildlife, until my clothes were soaked each day with sweat, until my shoulders were burning, until my muscles were quivering from sheer physical exhaustion. Sky kept everything light, and I was so thankful for that. Every day she’d make me smile with something cute and witty or sassy and smart. But even with her presence, there was only one way to deal with the rage of emotions. And that was to face them and take them apart, piece by piece, until I got to what was hidden underneath.
It would be a process, but right now, it was about battering the anger and trying to release it.
“I decided to come out here and see for myself that the Great Golden Sutton Boy was actually getting his hands dirty.”
My head jerked up at my sister’s chiding voice. I looked over my shoulder. She was standing not far from where I was crouched as I took stock of a big, ole’ tree in front of me, assessing the soil. With her hands firmly on her hips and a regal look on her face, ruined only by the cheeky grin, her eyes snapped playfully. She looked rested and happy and as put together as always in a pair of skinny jeans that came to just above her ankles, a pair of sexy sandals on her feet, and a flowing blue blouse, the pretty material at the shoulders fluttering in the breeze. That made me feel damn good.
“Princess River Pearl? Is that you?”
