“I’ve spent five years here, mostly alone,” Esrin said, refilling their glasses.“You and Peria have filled this year with laughter and light.
“I wish I could take you to Ishvaen.You’d love it.It’s busy and beautiful.The sea breeze is fresh and sweet, and winter is milder than in the Territories.We have parties that last until the late hours, with dancing and drinking.In the summer, we play games on the lawn under paper lanterns.”
He painted a vivid picture of a world full of purpose and familial love.The social bustle suited Peria’s personality better, but Esrin never extended this invitation when all three of them were together.This was new, exciting—a thought of joining him away from school.
His smile was open and genuine, his usual warmth present, but tonight something else flickered in his eyes—a heat reserved for moments when Peria wasn’t looking.Past glances had been easy to ignore, to push down the butterflies they stirred, but now…now…
“I can’t,” she blurted.“Not now, not ever.I want to, Esrin.I want to.I don’t want to go home, but I can’t stay here or leave for Terrepin.My mother would suffer, and my father would hunt medown.”
The tears came unbidden, hot and overwhelming.Esrin gently took her wine glass from her trembling fingers.His hands, steady and warm, slid over her shoulders and back in soothing strokes.No pawing, no pinching—just soft touches on the blue fabric.He brushed away her tears, and his swirling brown eyes burned with unspoken emotion.Butterflies erupted in her stomach, trapped and fluttering.
Esrin’s power thrummed like a warm summer breeze, washing over her like waves on a shore, dissolving fear, pain, and the memories of abuse.His magic enveloped her senses like freedom.
The surge of cold and dark that answered his druid’s magic widened his eyes, his pupils constricting.He leaned in—closer, closer.The scent of sweet wine and freshly laundered clothes surrounded her.He paused, his breath a momentaway.
This was no time for hesitation.His affection burned through her doubts—through Vair, Erst, the Territories, and even her status as a woman.
His lips were soft and warm, the rumble of contentment in his chest eclipsing every other thought when she brought their mouths together.She chose this.She wanted this, and the knowledge soothed her in ways she had never known.
This was not her first kiss.She had stolen kisses with other lords’ sons, and Erst had taken kisses from her as well.But this was her first kiss with someone who mattered.Esrin smelled clean and fresh, like winter air and autumn leaves, and his hand on her neck was tenderly possessive.He didn’t paw—he simply kissed, his lips soft andwarm.
She reached out, her fingers brushing the ends of his silky black hair.When her hands settled on his shoulders and neck, Esrin tilted his head further, his hand tightening gently on the back of her neck.The kiss deepened, her lips parting as his tongue swept in slowly, gently meeting her own.She responded without hesitation.
He broke the kiss, breathing deeply, his face flushed.The heat in his gaze stirred a rising want in her, and she tugged him back toward her for another kiss.Esrin stopped her, pressing softly just below her throat.
“Ren’wyn,” he said, his voice low and steady.“I can’t ask you for this.I can’t ask you to have me.Peria mentioned youare…”
“A virgin.”She blushed deeply but held his gaze.Esrin didn’t look away, his eyes traveling from her lips to her throat, lingering on the swell of her breasts beneath her dress.When his gaze returned to hers, she leaned back, her tears replaced with freedom and a heady need.Esrin was the focal point of every sensation.Time seemed to slow as she leaned in again, grasping his face behind his ears and kissing him fiercely.
The world jolted back into motion.Ren’wyn’s heart thundered as Esrin returned her kiss with rough passion.His hands encircled her waist, sliding up her back and pulling her chest againsthis.
“Ren’wyn,” he rasped, his voice ragged.“I… I don’t want to hurtyou.”
She kissed his neck, her fingertips brushing his collar.Esrin inhaled sharply, his breath unsteady.
“I want you,” she whispered huskily, her fingers gripping his shirt.“I’m asking you—please.Be my first.”
Esrin groaned in response, a sound that sent a clench of anticipation through her.He took her hands and helped her stand, leading her slowly into his bedroom.
The room was immaculate, the white comforter on the bed fluffy like a cloud.She had never been inside before.Her eyes swept over a painting of the sea in Ishvaen on the wall opposite the bed, a rich mahogany dresser, and floor-to-ceiling windows veiled by curtains.
Then, Esrin kissed her again—gentle, sweet, unhurried.He removed the pins from her hair, and it fell in thick, wavy locks down her back.His fingers threaded through it, his touch reverent.He sighed, tilting his head back, his eyes closing.His hands brushed the tips of her hair before bringing the locks forward onto her shoulders.One hand dipped to the edge of her bodice.
“May I?”His voice was soft as gentlerain.
She nodded, steadying herself with her hands on his hips.Esrin slid the dress off her shoulders, carefully pulling each sleeve down over her hands.His breath shuddered as he loosened her belt and let the dress fall to the floor.She replaced her hands on his hips as his eyes methers.
“We don’t have to do this,” he said tenderly.“I would never make you, Ren’wyn.Never.”
His honesty and gentleness brought a smile to her lips.Esrin returned it, tracing a line down her cheek and neck.When his gaze traveled over her again, he licked his lips, sending a shiver throughher.
“Ren’wyn,” he murmured, raking a hand through his black hair, “are yousure?”
“I took the same class as everyone else,” she said, blushing.Spyre’s required course had covered contraception, sex, pleasure, and pregnancy.“I know it will hurt the first time, and I might bleed.I’m drinking contraceptive tea.I also know it can be… quite enjoyable for some women.”
Still, he hesitated, as if he couldn’t sense her rising desperation.She wanted this.She wantedhim.
“Please, Esrin.Please,” she whispered, reaching for him with trembling hands and an open heart.
