I head into the crowd to make the rounds and say hi to my friends and colleagues. The party is wild, full of strangers and large bodies bumping into each other. Bigfoots play drums and sing in loud guttural voices to a tune that changes and flows, but never really seems to end.
There’s something really special about getting lost in a large crowd. The way no one pays attention to you in the press of bodies especially, with pounding music that is so loud you can feel it in every bone.
A hand lands on my shoulder.
“Oh my god! You look amazing!” Bailey throws her arms around me. She’s clearly had a few glasses of champagne.
“Me?” I ask with a laugh. “Girl,youlook amazing!”
Her dress is layers and layers of cream and white tulle, with tiny flowers and leaves sewn all over it. She looks like a freaking fairy princess. Exactly the type of person who could marry a Bigfoot.
“Can you believe all of this?” she gestures to the wild, intense group of Bigfoots around us. “This is all my family now.” Shelaughs, hugs me again, and kisses me on the cheek. “I’m so glad you are in my life, Piper, and now we are going to be like sisters!”
“Sisters?” I ask.
“Sacha, Ness, and Pontius are basically brothers! And when you two get married, it’ll be like we are sisters.” She’s grinning wild.
“Married? Me?” I ask, not even sure that she can hear me over the music.
“Oh, please tell me you are gonna marry him! Or don’t marry him. It doesn’t matter! You are here with him! You guys are together now, and it’s so great, isn’t it? I bet it’s great, and I’m sure that sex with a Mothman is nothing like sex with a Bigfoot, but I bet it’s still the best you’ve ever had, isn’t it? You know what? Don’t answer that. I really don’t need any details. Pontius is basically my brother now. I do not need to hear details.” She nods emphatically.
“You are drunk,” I say with a laugh.
“What?” she yells over the music.
“YOU’RE DRUNK!” I yell much louder.
“YOU HAVE TO COME WITH ME! I NEED YOUR HELP!” She grabs my hands and pulls me after her.
“My help?”
“BRIDE PRIVILEGE! I AM THE BRIDE! YOU HAVE TO COME WITH ME!” She is still yelling even though the music is getting quieter as we leave the bonfire and drum circle behind.
She leads me down a short forest trail to a little tent decorated with chairs, rugs, pillows, and fairy lights. It’s an adorable makeshift bridal suite. There are six other women there. I’m introduced to them all in quick succession and immediately forget everyone’s names.
“Drink this.” Bailey hands me a glass of champagne.
“And wear this.” A woman, Margot, I think, hands me a long white robe.
“What is this?” I ask with a nervous laugh, taking both items. The champagne flute is easy enough to understand, but the robe confuses me. It’s silky, edged with lace, but otherwise looks like a bathrobe you could find in any random store.
“Running of the bride,” Margot announces. “Love your dress, by the way.”
“It’s Bigfoot tradition,” Bailey adds.
The other women laugh. They all seem to be familiar with each other.
“What does that mean?” I set the glass of champagne to the side, alcohol doesn’t seem like a great idea right now.
“Don’t worry, it’s totally safe.” Bailey giggles in a way that isn’t very reassuring. “We’re going to have so much fun!”
“That doesn’t really clarify anything.” I laugh.
“You’re a decoy,” says a woman lounging in an Adirondack chair.
“I still don’t understand.”
“Put on the robe. When we tell you to run, you run. We’re just here to distract Sacha. He has to prove he’s worthy of Bailey by chasing and catching his new wife.”
