Obviously.
“Hey,” I’ll say. “Wanna have a glass of wine on the back patio?”
Breezy. Cause I’m chill.
Nothing at all weird about this. Just two consenting adults, enjoying a nightcap and pretending we’re not low-key obsessed with the way the other person’s ass looks in jeans.
I raise my hand to knock.
Pause.
Lower it again.
Take a deep breath.
“Knock, knock!” I say, turning the knob and gently pushing his bedroom door open and peeking inside. “Turner?”
I don’t immediately understand what I’m looking at; there’s too much happening at once: his giant tufted headboard. His bare torso. Bare chest.
Legs spread.
Dick.
Stroking.
Balls.
Holy shit—he’s jerking off.
His head is tipped back, throat exposed, eyes closed in concentration. His hand moves in slow, deliberate strokes and his mouth parts just enough to let out a low, throaty sound that does amazing things to my vagina.
“Oh my god!” I go to back out but cannot peel my eyes off his stroking hand; or his asshole. Or thick, spread thighs.
Then—
His eyes open.
And meet mine.
We freeze at the same time—him mid-stroke, me mid-breath. Time slams to a halt. I should run, but I don’t. Can’t. Not from his wide eyes.
Not from his flushed, heaving chest.
Not from the very obvious situation currently happening between his legs.My god he has a seriously gorgeous dick.
He strokes it, pained expression on his face, tongue darting out to lick his bottom lipand oh my god is it hot.
I slam the door shut so fast I almost knock the bottle of wine out of my own hand. I spin, pressing my back to the door, heart hammering, lungs exploding into my chest.
Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod.
I just walked in on my roommate. Jerking off. ACTIVELY. HAND. TO. COCK.
He’s going to evict me.
No. Wait.Ihave to evictmyself.
Pack my things. Flee the state. Assume a new identity and start over as someone whodoesn’tburst in on innocent men mid self-love sesh. There’s no coming back from this. I will have to move to another city.
