Take the test from the bag. Stare at it. “Shit. Am I ready for this?”
“You have every right to want to wait.”
I nod, throat tight. But my feet are already moving, carrying me down the short hall toward the bathroom. My hands shake asI tear open the box, plastic wrapper crinkling too loud, echoing off the white tile.
“I’m going to mute you so you can’t hear me peeing, but don’t hang up,” I tell her, reaching for the phone, muting it, and setting it on the counter.”
“Nope.”
I set the test on the counter. Wash my hands. Brush my hair back.
Then I sit on the toilet, willing myself to pee.
Wait.
And breathe.
Misson accomplished, I place the capped stick on the counter and set the timer on my phone.
Three minutes.
Longest. Three. Minutes. Ever.
Nova’s voice is faint but still there. Comforting. Present.
And all I can think is, “please, please, please… let it be negative.”
I lean my head back against the bathroom wall, tile cold against my spine. The silence roars. The kind that makes your ears ring. The kind that lets every worst-case scenario echo.
I close my eyes.
Try to breathe.
In. Out. In. Out.
I think about every time I’ve felt off this week. Every time my stomach clenched. Every time my body didn’t feel like mine. Every time I dismissed it.
Too much caffeine. Not enough sleep. Stress.
But now?
Now all I can think about is Turner’s hands on my hips. The way he kissed my neck. The way he whispered my name like it meant something.
The sharp sting behind my eyes threatens tears, but I force them down.
The timer on my phone hasn’t even moved. Two minutes and fifty-eight seconds left and I know I could check before the timer goes off but what if?—
I drum my fingers against the edge of the counter. My knee bounces like it’s trying to run for the door as I look up and catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror.
I look pale. And horrible.
I don’t even realize I’m whispering out loud when I say, “I’m not ready for this.”
Not ready to tell Turner.
Not ready to face what this could mean.
Nova’s voice filters in the phone. “This episode ofTheGreat BritishBake Offis crap, by the way. Why are all the biscuits so fucking soggy?”
