“What are you talking about, someone like me?”
The pain in his tone made her second-guess her decision for a split second. But she couldn’t break the rules, especially the ones she’d set for herself. The ones she’d made so she’d never be hurt again. “You’re a thief, a criminal. Or you associate with criminals, and you break the law, which technically makes you a criminal. And you left me, went off with a girl. You left me. Without a word. And then I find you in the bar with Varik, and the next thing I know, you’re mixed up in kidnapping children. And then there’s the fact that I don’t even know what you truly look like. I’ve seen you naked, and I don’t know. How is that possible? And don’t tell me I imagined your tail. The altered skin coloring wasn’t surprising, but a tail? Seems like something a lover should know about. Especially?—”
“I’m sorry, Beauty.” Cifer stepped toward her, but she held out her hand to stop him. “I should have explained. I planned to be back before you realized I was gone. To wake you when I returned. To love you again.” Sadness and regret filled his gaze.
She’d been fooled by soft looks before. “What about the bar? You and Varik?”
Cifer stepped closer.
She didn’t move, and he wrapped her in his arms. The weight of his presence anchored her in place when she should be running.
“I’m sorry I left. So sorry. Words can’t begin to describe the depth of my regret when I returned and you were gone.”
She shivered.
“You’re cold.”
Although the sun was sinking in the sky, the shadows were much longer, and the spray coming off the waterfall had dampened her clothes, her reaction wasn’t to the temperature. Her tremors were caused by the war between wanting him and the certainty that it would be her downfall. She let him lead her back to the house where they were staying. When they neared his room, she pulled out of his arms. “I have to go.”
“Wait. Give me a chance?—”
She shook her head. “I need to change and then run through some system checks. We’re taking off soon, and I need to check on the ship.”
“But I still need to explain everything.”
Not a chance they’d do any talking if she let him lead her through his door. A second time would only give her twice as much to regret. “I have responsibilities.”
“Would you like my help?” His soft question hung in the hall between them.
She corralled all the weakness for him and shoved it down deep. “There’s nothing you can do.”
He leaned in to kiss her, but she turned at the last second and his lips ended up on her cheek, leaving a warm mark she wanted to press her fingers to, holding it against her skin. She curled her hands into fists, spun, and strode away without looking back, despite how desperately her body ached for one more glance.
Giving in at the waterfall had been a mistake. No matter how much she burned for him, she’d given herself boundaries, and she’d broken them. Crossed line after line. And not just the kiss. She’d broken into Varik’s ship, smashed the locks. She could have been arrested. An arrest record would kill her chances of being employed on most ships if Cyra ever ended their partnership.
Who was she becoming since spending time with Cifer?
It didn’t matter. It was over. No matter how long they spent on the ship together, she wouldn’t break again. Work would fill the hole in her chest. That was how she’d gotten over Varik, and it would work with Cifer too.
She made quick work of changing her clothes and repacking her bag. Better to stay on the ship until they left Din’ Gale. Something about the beautiful landscapes, rich accommodations, and lack of tasks led her to make impulsive decisions like kissing Cifer. She swiped the back of her hand across her traitorous lips, grabbed her bag, and marched out of the elegant home. Back to reality.
The hover ride back to The Treasure was quick and smooth. If the pilot had any concerns about what she was doing leaving in the dark of night, he kindly didn’t express them. He’d probably report to Dez and Cyra, but she didn’t care. It would only prove how dedicated she was to being the best engineer possible.
Darkness had settled in the corridors of the ship. Blaize flicked the light on her data pad to low, enough to see without tripping. She went to her quarters and dropped her bag. As she came back out, a pink glow filled the space between her door and Cifer’s quarters. The glow seemed to intensify as she palmed her door closed. Whatever. The damn orb wasn’t her concern.
Blaize leaned against the back wall of the wide cargo bay. Dez supervised the loading of the perishable goods going with them to Chalcanth. Once they launched and she confirmed all was well with the engines, she’d catch some sleep. She pushed herself upright and went to the bridge to confirm with Rhysa and Bodi that their systems checked out.
“You look like shit.” Rhysa tilted her head. “Good sex or no sex?”
“Checks for takeoff are complete. Any systems issues for you, Rhysa, or you, Bodi?”
“No sex,” Rhysa declared.
“I’m good.” Bodi continued to tap on the keys of her console. “Chalcanth Port Authority is expecting us and has granted preliminary docking permission.”
Veda arrived and settled into the empty chair to Blaize’s right. “Thanks for the help with the plants, Blaize.”
“No problem.” It truly hadn’t been, despite the fact that Blaize had felt eyes on her the entire time she was in the greenhouse with Veda. Probably a leftover reaction from when Cifer had been hiding on the ship, before they knew he’d stowed away.
