She nods. “I had trouble hooking the bite to tighten it.”
“Stay. Right. Here.” I drop the rope on the bed and leave her to get one of my ropes. I’ve procrastinated on bundling them in preparation for our trip. I wrap one of the lengths in a long coil, more cowboy than rigger, but it works. She’s exactly where I left her. “Good little rabbit.” I hold out the coil between us. “This is quality Shibari rope. You are not wet clothes in need of a little sunshine. You are a priceless gift, and if you want me to, I’ll show you?—”
She lifts her arms to me, forearms pressed together, wrists exposed. Vulnerable. Submissive. Her trusting gaze stabs into me, locking me in place. So soft. So sweet. “Please.”
I turn her forearms so her hands can clasp, but I press them flat into a prayer position and begin. My body leads from muscle memory, allowing me to enjoy every sigh, every shiver. Every shift in balance as she tenses and relaxes. It’s our dance. And it’s beautiful. I spin her into my arms, wrapping her with my body so I can hold her as I ladder the rope up her arms, creating beautiful knots down the center. I lose track of time as she softens in my hold. The final end tucked inside, it’s a perfect binding.
She turns her head, lips so close to mine. I could bend and take what she’s offering. Her eyes are glazed with the bliss of submission, and only her arms are bound. The pleasure she could find if I wrapped her entire body. Pleasure I could give her. I could easily sweep her up in my arms right now, and lay her on the bed, work those jeans off her sweet ass. Plunge inside. My cock twitches.
Fuck.
Too much.
The door is open. For a reason. So I don’t spiral out of control because she could make me forget my rules. Make me forget why I have rules. Make me forget that I can’t have this kind of intimacy.
She’s exactly what I dreamed of finding in a sub. And I can’t have her. Can’t have anyone so intimately again. There are very good reasons I only let myself go in a club, and only so far.
I tug the quick release I formed when I placed the series of knots, they cascade free, leaving the rope limp and without purpose. I coil it up quickly, avoiding her vulnerable questioning gaze. The answers I have wouldn’t satisfy her or explain anything. “Keep this.”
She accepts the coil with shaking hands.
The word sorry forms in my throat, but I can’t say it. I squeeze her grip around the rope once, briefly, and fly from her room to the safety of my own.
Maybe it could work. If I didn’t have the past I have. SJ reminds me how sweet a connection like ours can be. I found submission like this once before. Risked and lost everything for it. Could I take that risk again?
Eleven
SJ POV
Amy fills my cup of coffee while I slather one of her delicious lavender scones with lemon curd. I’ve got to do a workout today—a long one. Get my head on straight, because Alex literally has me tied in knots. An extended yoga session will do the trick to clear the confusion and get rid of some the pastry calories I’ve been consuming.
“Are you packed?”
“What?”
“For the weekend in Colorado Springs. Pandora? I assumed you were going. For research.”
If I go, there’s no way I won’t be bound in Alex’s ropes and naked in his bed. It was a close thing last time, there’s no way I could resist after I’ve gotten to know him better, after I’ve found the taste for being tied up. The way he bound my arms, so tenderly, so tight, with perfect precision and symmetry. The effect was nearly overwhelming, the urge to drop to my knees—I choke on a crumb of scone. Tyler pats my back until I can take a breath. A sip of coffee helps to clear the sensation of airless panic. I wipe the tears from my eyes. “I have to work this weekend. My editor is not happy with my progress. He’s given me an extension, if I can stay a little longer?”
“Of course. I don’t have anyone else booked for the room. In fact you’ll likely be the last guest we take before the resort opens.”
Relief swamps me until I realize I’ll have to ask my uncle for permission to stay as well. But that can wait. “I’d love to go to Pandora again, maybe before I leave?”
“Sure. And don’t worry about this weekend, Tyler and I can stay here.” Amy plasters a fake smile on her face. Tyler flashes a frown at me but nods reassuringly at Amy.
Stone has an unreadable expression and Eliot and Cade are ignoring everything, filling their plates.
“I’ll stay.” Alex’s voice is behind me and I jump in my seat, hopefully not enough to notice. But I’m sitting next to Tyler and he’s looking at me like I’m a clue on a murder board. “I’ll take point on the inn so you and Tyler can go. Besides, I found a fireproof door in stock in Denver. I’ve got it on hold, but that crew isn’t available again for a couple weeks and they’ll only hold it for forty-eight hours. Gabe and I are getting it tomorrow. I’ll probably finish up the painting too.”
Not good. He’s who I’m trying to avoid. I shoot a plaintive look to Amy, but her focus is on Stone. His expression hasn’t altered—blank slate.
Amy’s gaze flits from Tyler to the buffet, to Alex and she swipes a hair that escaped from her ponytail. “I have plenty of food, eggs and bacon. And there are bagels in the freezer, just need to be thawed and toasted they should be great. Cream cheese is in the same bin as the butter.”
Alex grips her in a one-armed side hug. “I got this. Managed to feed myself for years before coming out here. And I promise not to let SJ starve either.”
“She skips meals,” Amy says.
Are they seriously talking about me in front of me?
