“But, I care. I care, Dez, and I don’t want to hurt you or imply promises I can’t keep.”
He smiled. “Of course my queen. But while we are here, on this ship together, I will show you what it means to have a mate who loves you.”
Cyra’s mouth dropped open.
Dez refused to remain an audience to her arguments. He hurried to the galley already late to prepare the mid-cycle meal. There would be plenty of time between wherever they were in space and the godforsaken planet of Kolben to create a lifetime of memories for his mate. Because it nearly impossible she would succumb to the mating illness the way he would once they parted.
Chapter31
Love?Had Dez really told her he loved her before walking away? Technically he’d said he’s show her what it was like to have a mate who loved her. Was that the same thing? She wasn’t sure. Did she love him? She couldn’t. Could she? If she did, and she left him on Kolben, what did that say about her?
Her job shouldn’t be this difficult.
Veda told her to talk to him. She’d returned to his quarters with every intention of doing so, but he’d stayed quiet. Until he hadn’t. Then he’d dropped a love bomb on her. She paced back and forth, torn between retreating to her salt tank, going back to Veda, or taking her position in the captain’s chair. Maybe there was a way to fix her mess.
She logged intoThe Treasure’sfinancial tracking software. As she’d been trained by Auvi, every detail of every transaction was recorded. The amount of Dez’s contract, the sky high price that had included extras for food and medicine. The fuel costs. The contract from Din’Gale. Her payment for goods to the prince. There would be more contracts like that, but the net income, while it was profitable, wasn’t near enough to not only pay back Dez’s travel costs, but the indentured servant contract to the mining company, the broker’s fee, and the penalty for breech of contract. Even with the new contract with Arbotriz she didn’t have enough credits coming in because transporting goods to Kolben was costly. The upgrades to the perishable goods systems had wiped out the income from the first Arbotriz delivery. It only made future transactions more profitable. A good investment clearly, but they still wouldn’t realize the kind of credits she needed to buy back Dez’s freedom. And even if she did, her partners would have to give up their shares.
She took a breath. It was as if Blaize had taken over her thoughts.Slow down. Look again.But he more she poked at the numbers, the worse the picture became. She groaned in defeat.
“You okay, captain?” Rhysa asked from her station.
“Fine.” If only she could come up with something. Maybe she had an error. “Bodi, can you get a link back to Cassan so I can check our bank balances at the Milky Way Credit office?”
The Treasurewas fairly far from the station. It was a crazy request, but it was the last possible piece of data Cyra hadn’t triple checked. Maybe by some miracle, the credits Auvi had left her had been returned. Right. As if Varik would ever do the right thing.
Hours later, across the slow but solid link Bodi had formed, Cyra confirmed that Dez was screwed. There was no possible way for her to change his circumstances. “I’m going to soak.”
“Aye, Captain.” Rhysa responded.
The title stabbed Cyra in her back as she left. She might be in charge ofThe Treasure, but she had no power to do the one thing she most wished she could: save Dez.
In the galley, Dez arranged Cyra’s meal in her preferred divided tray, making sure all her favorites didn’t touch. His mate was particular about certain things. He adored accommodating her preferences, any small thing to bring her a bit of joy. More and more frequently, she retreated to her water tank. The stress of being captain, keeping the crew focused, and financial issues weighed on her. He’d done what he could with bringing her contracts, and he’d keep trying to do more for as long as he could.
The others had already gathered around the table filled with the dishes he’d prepared. His mate remained absent. Should he cover her food, put it in the warmer?
“Veda, how’s the greenhouse?” Rhysa asked as she filled her plate.
“Slow but good. I’ve got some sturdy sprouts now. But I’m holding out the for the second set of leaves before I get too excited.”
Blaize moaned. “I can almost taste the fresh tomatoes now.”
“Slow down. A lot can go wrong and it’s my first time trying something like this. In fact, I didn’t find any recent documentation on growing crops on a ship. All the data I could find was from ancient Earth data repositories, most of the data is before quantum gravity became standard. There were some studies from a few colony ships. I’m trying to replicate their methods.”
“If you need help, just ask. I’ve got a fairly green thumb.” Bodi held up her golden thumb as if it would suddenly appear green.
At least the crew getting along, focused on a project together. The more they came together as a team the easier it would be for his mate.
Cyra came through the door, hair wet, and twisted up on her head. Her eyes met his, and he cringed at the fatigue he saw in the moment before she glanced away. He slid her tray to the spot she’d taken between Veda and Blaize, despite the space he’d held for her.
“Thanks.” Her voice was heavy and low. What had happened since he’d told her he loved her? He grit his teeth. Should have known better than to drop that on her in the middle of the hallway after they were already unstable. Saying “I love you” never strengthened a weak relationship. It only cemented a strong one. His declaration must have added to her stress. To be fair, he hadn’t planned it. And there was no way he’d take it back because it was true to his bones. He loved her. Even if he couldn’t have a lifetime with her. But like the crew coming together around the fledgling crops, he would do everything he could to support Cyra with her fledgling business.
“I checked on the produce stores,” Dez said as he leaned across the table to focus on Cyra.
“Everything okay?” Cyra’s forehead wrinkled.
“Great,” he quickly assured her. “In fact, the refrigeration unit is working perfectly. I even had Blaize run a diagnostics to make sure the power use was within spec.”
“You didn’t have to do that. Blaize would have told me if there was a problem, right?” Cyra nudged Blaize.
