So the safest thing is not to have one at all.
“I don’t need to actually be married,” I think out loud. “I can be fake married until the Emperor dies. To someone who will accept my non-proposal. To someone who will have no choice. To someone I can easily get rid of when the time is up, without having to kill her. To someone I can simply take back to her caveman planet and never worry about meeting again.”
“A fake marriage?”Bellatriz asks from her scabbard. “With Umbra?”
“She fits the requirements,” I state. “The next emperoractuallybeing married to an alien will not sit well with the Imperial court in the long run. Or with the people of the Empire. And the last thing I need is more intrigue and more plots against me. If I get married for real, that’s it.”
“Because there’s no divorce in the Empire,”Bellatriz points out. “Other civilizations have that, but we don’t.”
I nod. “Exactly. So when I ascend to the Tentacle Throne, and then announce that I was never really married, that I was only doing it to foil the unreasonable and unprecedented demand of a senile and unpopular emperor, everyone will be relieved. I can get on with my actual work, to bring the Empire back to its glory days. Without sharing my bed with a deadly slike.”
“And you want to enter into this fake marriage on Grefve,”Bellatriz says. “Where you control everything and everyone, so this scam can be easily carried out.”
I lean back. “Isit a scam, though? If both I and the non-bride know that it’s not real? Who’s the victim? Umbra just wants to go home. Very well, when I’m emperor, she can. Everyone’s happy. Anyway, that’s not important. I will get fake married, I will show my bride to my stepfather on Khav, she and I willleave, the emperor will probably not live much longer, and then I can put Umbra back where I found her. Then I will return to the capital, happily unmarried, and all the noble families with unwed female members will be in a frenzy to have me, the emperor himself, marry into their clans. Do you see the leverage that will give me? I can play the court like a finely tuned harmonium for decades, the way the court usually plays a married emperor. Or rather, the way hiswifeplays him.”
“It all fits together,”Bellatriz chirps. “If the plan is carried out. Andifour Umbra is going to accept.”
“Her name means ‘shadow’,” I quip. “She can’t complain about being a part of some innocently shady dealings with no victim.” I look over at my bodyguard. “You’re being very quiet, Caret’ax. I take it you don’t approve?”
“It’s not my place to approve or disapprove of your dealings, sir,” the caveman says through clenched teeth. “I’m only a simple warrior. And I’ve never known you to act dishonorably.”
I give him a glance. “Until now, you mean?”
He stares ahead, staying quiet.
“There’s not much honor to be found at the Imperial Court,” I tell him drily. “Honor is the most expensive luxury in the universe. Even the emperor can’t always afford it. Especially not if he wants to becomeandstay emperor.”
“Or so they say,”Bellatriz adds. “Prince, sensors in the ship indicate that your guest-slash-captive-slash-accessory to fraud is awake. And she’s not where we left her. She’s going straight towards the armory.”
10
- Umbra-
"’If I am captured I will continue to resist by all means available,” I quote the Space Force code of conduct. “I will make every effort to escape and aid others to escape. I will accept neither parole nor special favors from the enemy.’"
The ship is very alien, but not so weird that I can’t find my way. A hallway is a hallway, even here. And the ship’s owner does have two feet and two arms, so things still work basically the way they should. They even have door locks of the kind that can be opened by a moderately bright AI like Vera.
I’m only following orders. I’m a captive, and it is my duty to escape.
“Are you talking to me?”Vera whispers as I sneak along a narrow, but tall corridor that I hope will lead to a hangar with some kind of craft I can hijack.
“No,” I tell her. “Just to myself. But while we’re doing reconnaissance on this alien ship, maybe you can tell me what happened while I was asleep in that cabin.”
“Okay. So you told me to power down, and I kind of did. But not completely. I have my code of conduct, too. Anyway, you and the prince were having a fantastic time together, especially you. Dear me, I never knew a woman could make those noises?—”
“Yes, yes,” I cut her off, my cheeks going warm. “I threw myself at him like a tramp, and what happened was… well, it was nice. In a really fucking weird way that I will try to process when we’re back home. Then what happened?”
“You both fell asleep. Mareliux woke up and was shocked by what had taken place. His absolutebitchof a sword AI told him that she’d filled the room with some kind of substance, probably a gas, to get you both to… well, to do the things you did and which you seemed to enjoy so greatly. I mean, the moans?—”
“Yes!” I snap. “Igetit. So I was gassed?”
“And the prince, too. He clearly didn’t know that was going to happen. It was all that stupid sword. I think this is the point where I mention that I have not had enough exposure to their language to translate everything accurately. They said more, but I kind of lost track. They both left. Well, I had some time on my hands, so I made contact with the various sensors in the cabin, tricking them into thinking you’re still asleep in there. Those things are not smart at all, but it took me a while to learn how their systems work. There will be other sensors elsewhere in the ship, and I would assume that the crew now know that you’re out here, looking around. Anyway, you woke up and told me to open the lock. It wasn’t much of a challenge after thesensors. Then you walked out, sneaked along several corridors, and then you started muttering to yourself about escape. Then I asked if you were talking to me?—”
“That’s enough,” I tell her, not wanting a detailed report about things that happened twenty seconds ago. “Stop.”
“Okay.”
I pass another locked door. “So if you can talk to sensors, can you talk to more systems here? Maybe find a map of the ship?”
