The depth of abuse Kierce was dealt at Dis Pater’s hands was made so much worse knowing any rebellion earned him a mind wipe to prevent him from acting out further.
The flash of Kierce striking me with his lightning burnt behind my eyes, and my stomach clenched with fear. Not that Kierce would hurt me again. I was prepared for that possibility. But I had no defense if Dis Pater decided to erase me from Kierce’s memories.
Selfish of me, I know, to factor my feelings into the equation, but I couldn’t help myself.
I hadn’t known how much I would miss him. I hadn’t understood how much a part of my daily life he had become until he was gone. This separation was so much worse than last time. Probably because I knew I had to be content with setting his feet on the path of his choosing if, after being granted his freedom, he selected a road that led away from me.
“I’ll ask him first.” Exhaustion rode me hard, but I was too close to my goal to admit defeat. “If he agrees, I donate a toe to the cause, we weaken him enough for travel, and then we summon Papa Legba to get us back to New Orleans. If Kierceprefers not to be in unimaginable pain for an undetermined about of time—and who could blame him?—then we retreat to Vi’s and work on a new plan.”
Many looks were exchanged within our circle, ones that hinted at contingencies I might not be included in, but no one spoke out against my wishes.
“Moment of truth.” Ankou watched the flames die around us. “We’re not far now.”
The reminder dumped adrenaline in my veins, and I couldn’t shake my jitters as we set out.
We fell into pairs again as the path grew wide enough for two people, which wouldn’t have been bad if Ankou hadn’t taken the spot next to me. Harrow appeared likewise wary with Anunit’s decision to walk alongside him, butting her head against his hand until he scratched behind her ears.
Given how she died avenging her mate, I didn’t think her fascination with Harrow was romantic. More like she was obsessed with his body. But not in a sexual way. She was…appreciative? Anunit eyed him like a favorite sports car she couldn’t wait to take for another spin. Yeah. Something along those lines.
“How did he earn your trust?”
Ankou’s voice right in my ear got him an elbow to the ribs to give me space. “Kierce?”
“Yes.”
“He was honest with me.” I reconsidered my next statement. “He thought he was anyway. He wanted to be.” I could tell it wasn’t faked, the awkwardness, even if he had been set in my path for a purpose. “That counts for a lot.”
“Do you care if he doesn’t look how you think he does?”
“You mean his crow aspect?” I concealed my annoyance over how often he taunted me with how much I didn’t know aboutKierce without ever telling me anything useful. “It doesn’t bother me.”
“Has it ever occurred to you that the form you know, the human one, is as much of a lie as the rest of his existence? The crow aspect is real. That much is fact. But he could be something else entirely beneath the façade of a pale-skinned mopey tombstone hugger.”
Something. Not someone.
Nope.
I wasn’t rising to the bait. I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of my reaction. I set that jibe aside.
“The word you’re looking for,” I drawled, “istaphophile.”
We continued on for a minute or two before he angled his head toward me, studying me from the corner of his eye. “Do you think if Armie had been real, that Josie would have loved him one day?”
“There was always something missing from him, and now we know what. Armie wasn’t real. His feelings weren’t genuine. He was great friendship material, fun and casual. But he would have had to be more, to have more depth, for a shot with her long-term.” I knew I would regret asking, but I did it anyway and blamed it on boredom from the relentless trudging. “Did you love her?”
“No.” He didn’t hesitate. “I wouldn’t have chosen her if I could have had you.”
Old anger flared, hotter than ever, and I cocked my fist, slamming it into his jaw with a loud crack.
“Neversay that again.” I relished the blood smearing his mouth. “Especially not where she might hear.”
The wounds his betrayal carved in her soul ran deep. I wasn’t sure she would be so hell-bent on pursuing Carter if he hadn’t damaged her self-esteem so thoroughly. Don’t get me wrong. Josie liked Carter. She wanted her. But Carter pushing backevery time Josie got closer made her a safe target for Josie’s affection.
Healthy it was not, but it might be exactly what Josie needed to get back on her feet.
“Should I also keep to myself that I only wanted the information to build a better character next time?”
“A bettercharacter?”
