Now, with the parallel I can draw from him to me, and from my mother to Lara, I understand his grief, and catch a glimpseof what pushed him to that place of hurt, drowning himself in liquor.
“Jake!”
I jump and look up, finding Shelby at the top of the stairs, her hair loose around her face. Her eyes are slightly wild, and for some reason, my first thought is that something happened to Lara.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, sitting up and closing the journal in my lap, realizing I’ve read almost all the way through their love story, and I’m getting to the part where my dad is about to lose her.
“I was driving by,” she says, her hand on her heart, her gaze skipping between me and the journals scattered around me. “The front door was hanging open, and when I came in, you weren’t responding…”
She trails off, eyes falling to the journal in my lap. “What are you doing?”
“Did you know?”
I don’t need to clarify. Shelby’s gaze finds mine, and she swallows, nodding. “I had my suspicions. That little boy looks just like your baby pictures, Jake.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I assumed you knew.”
That hits me like a slap, and I draw my face back. “What?”
“I mean, I knew that you and Lara were sneaking around, and Dad said that you left suddenly?—”
“Yeah, I’m sure he did.” I shake my head, a bitter laugh rising up and out of my throat. Even knowing what I do, I’m still pissed at him. “He basically kicked me out. You think I would have left her like that?”
“I thought it was a mutual decision.” My sister takes the final few steps, sits down next to the journals and reaches out to touch one. “And none of my business. Plus, you hardly ever answered my calls. I figured there was no way you’d talk to me about something like that.”
And she’s right. I wouldn’t have.
“She’s pregnant again,” I say, not realizing I’m going to until the words come out. Shelby’s eyes widen, and I find myself going through the story, telling her about everything. At the end of it, she reaches out and punches my shoulder.
“Ow.” I reach up and rub it, surprised at her strength. “What was that for?”
“She told you she was pregnant, and youleft?” Shelby gets to her feet, shaking her head and reaching a hand out to me. “You’re an idiot. Come on.”
“Come on? Right now? Don’t you think I should give her some?—”
“You need to get her back. I don’t want to miss another minute with my nieces and nephew.”
CHAPTER 31
LARA
“You’re being really weird, and it’s freaking me out.”
Zachery frowns at me. “I’m not being weird. You’re being weird.”
“That’s really mature.”
It’s been two days since I broke the news to Jake. And two days since I’ve heard from him, but I’m too afraid to send him a text. At Zachery’s insistence, I dropped the kids off with my parents and am accompanying him on a ‘fun day out’.
We’re at the rose gardens just outside town, a local favorite for anniversaries and weddings. Tall hedges loom around us, bright and green, and though the roses are no longer blooming, it’s still gorgeous.
If only I were in the right frame of mind to appreciate it.
“This way,” Zachery says suddenly, grabbing my sleeve and tugging me down a side path. When he was in my apartment earlier, I felt like we were right back in high school, him insistingI wear a sundress to make myself feel better, instead of my usual shorts and a T-shirt.
“Why are you dragging me?—”
