Chapter 25
Sky
The funny thing about the end of the world is you never see it coming.
Which is what I said in the stillness of the equipment shed, with only Maisy and Rock to hear me.
I admitted the whole truth.
I admitted the thing not even ’Nando knew about me.
“My stepfather... He... It wasn’t an accident.”
The color drained from his face.“Tell me.”
“I found him...you know. With my sister. I mean. It was accidental, how it happened. But only because I—” My gut roiled. I had to swallow convulsively to get myself under control enough to speak. “Because he died before I could—”
I closed my mouth, unable to tell a decent man I’d had murder in my heart.
“I don’t understand.”
“Liar.” I accused. “You know what I’m telling you.
He shook his head. “Say the words?”
I blinked back shameful, shameful tears. “I came into the room. Saw what was happening and I— I grabbed that motherfucker. Started hitting him. His head did snap back and hit the wall of her room. That part is true. But I pushed him into the hall. Kept hitting him. He fell down the stairs and I followed him with every intention of beating him to death with my bare hands.”
Looking down at those hands, I could still feel the dull thud of my fists against his flesh. If Rock didn’t see me as capable of such a thing, it was only because he’d never really seen me. Only the face I present to the world.
“Did you push him?”
I shook my head. “He stepped back so he could plant his feet. Take a swing at me.”
I could still see him windmilling his arms, slipping off the landing, falling backwards, hitting his head on the wooden stair rail. The shock on his face looked comical, and for a second, I hesitated. Then I heard that second, horriblecrackwhen his head hit the tile floor at the base of the stairs. I didn’t bother to close my eyes. The sight of him, lying there broken, has never left me.
“So it wasn’t your fault. Not really.”
“You need to hear me.” I thumped my chest with my fist. “There was no way I was going to let him live. None. That’s...something you have to know. Something I have never told anyone. You deserve better than someone who is capable of that.”
“I see.” I couldn’t read his face. Was he scared? Disgusted? He’d probably imagined me as some white knight, charging to my sister’s rescue. Was he now getting the picture of who I really was? A killer? I wanted my stepfather dead. In my heart I murdered him. Those were the facts.
“It was still an accident.”
“Only because it was obvious I wouldn’thaveto kill him.” When I’d stumbled down the stairs to finish him off, his cold, hazel eyes stared past me. I’d recoiled from his body in horror. “I’m not... Maybe I’m not the kind of guy—”
“Your mother?” he asked.
“Clueless.” I could still see her face, pale with shock at first and then livid with rage when I told her what happened—why I’d had to protect Luna. “She was so taken in by that man, no matter what he did, it was always someone else’s fault. I was a liar. I was a murderer.”
“Oh, Skyler.” Rock looked sick.
“How old were you?”
“Eighteen.”
“You were just a kid,” he said gently.
“Not that day. I know what I felt. I wish I was a better person. I wish —”
