Melanie knew that, but she didn’t want to admit that out loud. Not yet, anyway. It felt like things were going so fast between them and while Melanie was happily along for the ride, she didn’t know how the timeline would look to those on the outside. It was better to keep how serious they were on the down low, at least for now.
“I didn’t know Cameron told you. What did she say?”
“That she was patiently waiting for your divorce to be final,” Laura’s eyes sparkled, letting Melanie know she was teasing her. “Which I’m assuming it is, right? That’s why you had that goofy grin on your face when you walked into my office.”
“It’s final.”
“Yes!” Laura dramatically fist pumped the air before immediately composing herself. “I’m sorry. I know that wasn’t nice of me to do. But, honey, you’ve deserved so much more thanRob all these years. That man was constantly holding you back and not appreciating you for the woman you are.”
Melanie felt her heartbeat quicken in her chest. If Laura, someone Melanie wasn’t around often at all, had noticed that, then what did the people closest to her think all these years? And why hadn’t they told her how unhappy she apparently looked before now? Would that have helped her realize sooner that her marriage to Rob was over?
She didn’t have answers for any of the questions bombarding her brain. Instead, every moment in time when Rob held her back came crashing into her.
It had started so early in their marriage that the realization now made her sick to her stomach. She’d wanted to live in a house on the beach, but Rob wanted a house in a subdivision.
So they moved to the suburbs.
Melanie wanted to foster more kids, but Rob said it took too much time. So they didn’t foster more than a dozen over the years.
When she had wanted to go back to school to get a higher degree, Rob had talked her out of it. He cited that money and time would be the biggest constraints, but Melanie wondered now if it was because she would have made more money than him.
Suddenly, every decision or lack thereof in her marriage felt like one she hadn’t been able to control. Other than her pets, had Melanie even contributed anything to their home? Even if she had, it apparently still wasn’t enough to keep Rob happy in their marriage.
Stop it. Neither of you were happy. This isn’t all on you.
“Mel,” Laura said with a firm voice as Melanie snapped out of her thoughts. “I thought I lost you there. You looked zoned out of life.”
“Sorry,” she shook her head. “Was thinking about a patient I need to check in with.”
It was a lie, but Laura didn’t notice or, if she did, she didn’t call her out on it.
“So, can I put in an official request to move to days? Doesn’t have to be on the next schedule drop, just whenever you can work me in. If you can work me in. If not, no worries.”
“Mel,” Laura arched an eyebrow, “you’ve got the seniority. I’ll get it switched on the new schedule drop next week.”
“Thanks, Laura.”
“You’re welcome. And,” she looked momentarily uncomfortable, “I’m sorry if I said anything earlier to offend you. I know divorces are hard, and I’m here if you need anything.”
“Thanks, Laura. And you’re good, I promise. Just have a lot on my mind these days.”
“I bet.” She nodded her chin toward the clock. It was now after eight. “Your girl should be here now. Go say good morning to her before you leave.”
“You don’t have to tell me twice. Thanks again, Laura.”
Waving goodbye to Laura, Melanie took her uneaten biscuit and coffee back to the elevator and pushed the button for Cameron’s floor. Most of the doctors came in at eight to start their day and to round on any patients at the hospital. But Cameron had purposefully not scheduled any surgeries for the time between Christmas and New Year’s, so Melanie knew she would most likely be in her office.
Melanie smiled good morning to the various doctors and nurses as she walked the floor of the oncology department. Their dull gray walls were a stark contrast to the brightly colored ones on the labor and delivery floor. Although Melanie had lost patients over the years, she couldn’t comprehend the amount of death the oncology department employees faced on a neardaily basis. It made her heart heavy for Cameron, who was often affected by those deaths.
They had talked about it a lot over the years. Anytime one of them would lose a patient, the other was always there. Melanie and Cameron had shed many, many tears for patients. It didn’t matter if they knew the patient well or not, each death hurt. She knew it always would because that’s the kind of people they were.
On more than one occasion, Melanie had let herself get close to a mom or a baby only to have something happen to them. It always hit Melanie hard as she wondered what she could have done differently. Cameron was the same way. Maybe that’s what had helped them bond over the years. Shared grief from a common job could do that.
Leaving the heaviness outside the office, Melanie looked into Cameron’s office. She had her back to Melanie and seemed to be doing something on her phone. Melanie quietly sat down the coffee and biscuit as she tiptoed over to Cameron. Wrapping her arms around her, she giggled as Cameron jumped and dropped her phone.
“Melanie,” Cameron part laughed, part screamed, “you almost gave me a heart attack.”
“Sorry, babe.”
