Glancing over to him, I notice he’s cut his hair since I went away, and it helps. My first thought isn’t of Collin, thank goodness.
“Hello, Thayer. Where is everybody?” My voice trembles slightly.
Scowling, he flings his hand towards the living room. I wait for him to lead the way, but he’s too much of a gentleman and motions for me to go first. Sweat breaks out on my upper lip. My eyes scramble to find an escape.
“Are you going to stand there all day?” he sneers.
Taking a few steps forward, I hear the wheelchair roll behind me. The soft whirring sound is universal. My hands shake as I wipe off the sweat on my upper lip. Thankfully, my back is to Thayer, so he can’t see what I’m doing, or I’m sure he’d find a reason to be hateful. I stride off towards the living room quickly, hoping to outrun the sound. But the more steps I take, the louder the whirring gets, until I’m almost panicking.
Stopping, I take a few deep breaths. Thayer rolls up beside me. “What’s wrong with you? Are you sick?”
Shaking my head from side to side, I notice a bathroom tucked under the stairs. “Excuse me, please. I need to use the restroom.”
Skirting around Thayer, I practically run into the room. Closing the door, I lean against it, my body sagging in relief. I don’t know if I can do this; am I strong enough? Running the cold water, I splash some on my face and wrists, trying to regain my composure. The mirror reflects my fear. Closing my eyes, I work on breathing for a few seconds before opening them. The fear is still there, but hopefully I look calmer if nothing else.
When I get out, Thayer is waiting for me.
Damn it,I think. Why couldn’t he leave me to find my own way? I’ve been here several times.
“Oh, you didn’t need to wait. I know the way,” I tell him, hoping he will take the hint and go.
Smiling widely, he gestures to the living room. “After you.”
Steeling my spine, I walk towards the living room. My ears strain to hear the direction of the chair behind me. He’s following close behind me. Too close. Panic creeps up again. Breathing shallowly, I work to catch my breath. Turning my head slightly, I catch the chair in the corner of my eye. Stumbling, I walk into the doorway to the living room.
“Ouch. Damn it.” My face smarts from the impact with the doorframe. I hear the chair stop on my left.
“What the hell? Are you drunk?” Thayer peers at me as he tries to figure out what’s going on.
“No, I’m not drunk. It’s the afternoon.” Glaring at him for a second, I wait for him to move away. Glancing down at the chair, my fear spikes. I grip the doorframe. “I simply ran into the door. Do you mind?” Gesturing for him to move the chair, I wait.
His eyes narrow in speculation. Grasping the controller, he moves the chair in my direction. I back into the wall. His face lights up with anger. “Are you afraid of the wheelchair? You’re a doctor, for fuck’s sake. How can you be afraid of it?”
Lev, Lowell, and Shaw stand up in the living room and cross over to us when they hear Thayer’s loud voice questioning me. They take in the scene as they step closer.
“What the hell’s going on?” Shaw growls, his voice tight as he looks from Thayer to me. Given that Thayer has me practically backed into the corner, I can see how this might look.
“It’s nothing. I wasn’t paying attention and walked into the doorway,” I interject.
“You walked into the wall because you’re afraid of the wheelchair.” Thayer’s anger spills over as he explains the situation. “She’s a fucking doctor, and she’s scared of a man in a wheelchair. Wow, what compassion.”
When Shaw turns his gaze towards me, I close my eyes. I can’t hide from this. Straightening, I pull back my shoulders and open my eyes to face the music. Looking at all four of them in turn, I admit it. “He’s right. But he’s also wrong. Can we all sit down?”
Thayer wheels himself towards the living room. I indicate someone else to follow Thayer, to put some distance between us. Lev follows Thayer. Lowell reaches down and grasps my hand and pulls me toward the living room, leaving Shaw to bring up the rear.
Lowell guides us over to the couch, leaving the chairs for Lev and Shaw. They all look towards me as we sit down. “You don’t have to tell us anything, my dear. It’s none of our business. I love you, and I stand by whatever decision you make here. We all have nasty, rotten skeletons in our closets. Yours belong to you.”
“No, I need to hear this story,” Thayer demands, his anger spilling over. “Not only is she a gold digger, she’s obviously a piss poor doctor, too.”
“I don’t give a fuck what you want,” Lowell states quietly in return, a muscle ticking in his jaw. “She doesn’t have to tell us this story. She owes you nothing.”
Taking a deep breath, I exhale in a steady stream. My throat tightens, and my eyes burn.
I clear my throat a few times. “Fuck it. You want the truth? Fine. Then, you can fuck off.” Swallowing, I jump into the beginning. “The gunman shot Collin once, but his aim was perfect. It impacted Collin’s vertebrae and spinal cord. For the first few months, both Collin and I were in recovery. Our only focus was living. Once we were out of the hospital, I went home. Collin went into a rehabilitation center to learn basic functions, as his nervous system had been greatly impacted.”
Looking over at Lev, I request a glass of water. My eyes track over to Shaw, whose hands are clenched. I don’t know if he’s angry or what, but given that he won’t meet my eyes, I’m not sure. Lowell’s thumb caresses my hand. Thankful for that small gesture, I glance up at his green eyes and give him a weak smile.
Lev comes back with the water and takes a seat beside me. After taking a few sips, I set it down and continue.
