I swallow. My eyes dart between his as I try and figure out what he’s going to say or do.
He looks pained as he murmurs, “I’m never going to ignore you, pretty girl, but taking your virginity is the one thing I can’t do.” He pauses, exhaling heavily. “I already took your first kiss, I won’t take that as well.”
I’m lost in his intense gaze, his lips so close to mine I can smell the smoke from his last cigarette. Most people will say it smells like an ashtray, but to me, it smells of James, of home. I breathe in his unique smell and send out a prayer to anyone who’s listening,please make this man mine.
As if he heard me, he whispers, “You’re not mine to have, Raven.” He kisses my forehead before drawing back and walking out of the kitchen.
A knock sounds at my bedroom door, causing me to jerk my head. I’d been so engrossed in my book, I hadn’t been aware of my surroundings. James had someone collect my belongings from the shop, and I never leave home without some form of book.
After he’d walked out of the kitchen this morning, I retreated to the safety of his room to lick my wounds. It’d taken a good hour for the embarrassment to wear off, but by then the thought of facing himwas still raw. Reading has always been an escape for me, so what do I do when I feel like the world's biggest embarrassment? I read about other people's lives and forget about my own for five minutes.
It’s hard to accept that James and I are not going to happen, no matter how much I want it to or how hard I push his boundaries. I want to respect his decision, but a small part of meknowshe feels something for me even if he won’t admit it.
With a sigh, I stand up and open the door. James is standing with his hands bracing the doorframe and his head hung low.
He snaps his head up at the door opening. “Dinner’s ready if you’re hungry?”
I shrug. “I could eat.”
He pushes away from the doorframe, and my eyes start automatically wandering—his hair’s disheveled, like he’s been running a hand through it constantly. I guess when a twenty-year-old keeps throwing herself at you, it’s going to happen.
My gaze lands on his face, his blue eyes sparkling even in the dim light, and his full lips are just begging to be licked. His five o’clock shadow just adds to his sex appeal, and I’m not sure if I prefer this version—the at home, relaxed James, or office James who wears designer suits and is freshly shaven.
We’re stuck in a staring contest, neither one of us looking away until I come to my senses and clear my throat, looking away and brushing past him.
His house is massive. I’m pretty sure there are five bedrooms, a games room, a theatre room, and a gym on top of the usual standard kitchen, living room, and dining room. The kitchen’s so big he has a table in the corner, preferring to use that instead of the actual dining room, which seats around twelve people.
I take my place at the table, which has been laid out with cutlery and an array of food. “Are we expecting more company?” I quip.
“No,” he laughs. “I just didn’t know what you’d want, so I heated everything up.”
“James!” I exclaim. “That’s such a waste of food.”
“Nah, I’ll eat it all.” He gives me a wink and sits in his own seat opposite me.
Goddammit, I hate when he winks at me. My knees always go weak at the sight, even when sitting down.
We eat in silence, the tension rife. When I’m finished, I place my knife and fork down, reaching for my glass and taking a sip of water. “Did you ever find out what’s going on with my dad?” I ask.
James places his own knife and fork down before leaning back in his chair. “No, but I will. I’ve got the best security firm looking into it as well as looking after you.”
“So how does this work? They drive me to school, sit outside my classroom, and then bring me back here at the end of the day?”
“Pretty much, yeah,” he agrees. “I still have to work, and you still have to go to school. This is the safest option until I can figure out what’s going on.”
Nodding my head slowly, I try to wrap my head around his answer. I’ve never had a security detail before, so this is going to take some getting used to. “What about work?”
“I’d prefer it if you only went to school and back again, but if you still want to continue working, then security will take you to and from.”
“How long for?” I ask, even though I’m pretty sure I already know the answer.
His jaw clenches. “Until I know the threat against your life is gone.”
I cross my arms over my chest as I say, “You’re being a bit overbearing, you know that, right?”
“And your point is…?” he asks, waving a hand around.
His protectiveness is endearing but also a bit stifling. I’ve always been given my freedom, and this feels like he’s taking that from me. I appreciate his actions are coming from a place of caring, but this is getting to be too much.
