He thought that me and Button John wanted to have sex with each other. I was going to correct him, but if I did, what if he started wondering who it was I actually wanted to have sex with? So instead of saying anything, I flashed him a weak smile and wished the floor would open up and swallow me.
“Okay,” Eddie said. “Well, this is—wouldn’t you be better off talking to someone else about this?”
“We thought about that,” Button John said, “but there wasn’t really anyone else we could think of.”
Eddie let out a long breath and bounced Baby Joe on his hip. Baby Joe gurgled happily. “Did you not have sex ed in school?”
“I didn’t really pay any attention in school,” said Button John.
“That tracks,” Eddie said. “Okay, well, I suppose the first thing is protection. You use condoms, unless you’ve both been tested and you’re exclusive and you know you can trust the other person. It’s honestly also much easier for cleaning up.”
Button John nodded, his wild hair dancing, and I tried hard not to think about Eddie and Red Joe cleaning up.
Eddie pinched the bridge of his nose with his free hand. “Okay, guys, I’ve never given a sex talk before. I probably shouldn’t have skipped right to condoms. The most important thing is to make sure that you’re both ready, and that it’s something you can talk about with each other.”
“Talking about it with each other isn’t the problem,” Button Joe said. “It’s that neither of us know if what we’re talking about is right, or if it’s bullshit we learned from porn.”
“Oh, god,” Eddie said. He leaned back against the counter, scattering postcards. “Okay, you know what? Communication. It’s all about communication. You have to talk with your partner, and make sure you’re both on the same page with everything. It’s not even about what you do—it’s about checking in with the other guy, and making sure you’re both into it, and that nobody’s being pushed out of their comfort zone.”
A shiver ran through me as I thought of Dominic kissing me. “Are you okay with this?” Making sure I was, before he went further. I’d had no idea what I was doing, but Dominic knew. And he’d checked in, like Eddie had said.
“This isn’t very specific,” Button John said, nose wrinkled.
“I—” Eddie groaned. “You’re right. And you know why? Because sex isn’t very specific, Button John. It’s not a sheet of instructions from Ikea. Sure, yes, Tab A can go into Slot B, but sex is so much more than that, and it’s different for everyone.” He gave us a serious look. “Sex is about discovering what each of you likes, and what feels good, and you’re the only ones who can figure that out.”
Button John nodded and hummed. “But, like, specifically....”
“Jesus Christ.” Eddie levelled him with a look. “Condoms, lots of lube—like, more than you think you’ll need—and take it really, really slowly. Specific enough?”
Button John gave him a thumbs up. “Awesome!”
We left Eddie looking regretful of every choice that had led him to Dauntless, and headed back outside. It was a nice day. The sun was warm and the breeze was cool. I could see one of the boats out near the horizon, and I squinted, but it was too far away for me to be sure if it was the Adeline or not. There was a dog meandering out along the jetty— a sandy-coloured thing that I thought belonged to Elias Dinsmore. Elias scared the shit out of me, but his dogs were friendly.
We wandered over to the harbour wall and sat, our feet dangling over the edge. It was high tide, and waves washed up against the wall below our feet; back and forth, back and forth. Button John dragged his fingers through his hair. “I think that went well.”
“I think Eddie thinks we want to have sex!”
Button John wrinkled his nose. “Well, we do.”
“With each other!”
Button John’s jaw dropped, and then he let out a burst of laughter that sent the nearby seagulls scattering. “That’s hilarious!”
“It’s really not! We’re first cousins!”
“Eh.” Button John shrugged. “No offence, but you’re not my type, Natty.”
“See? You say you’re not picky, but you totally are.”
“Having sex with you would be like having sex with my brother,” Button John said, and shuddered.
“You don’t have a brother.”
“Okay, me having sex with you would be like you having sex with Ni?—”
“Don’t even fucking say that.” I elbowed him. “Gross.”
“That’s my point!” He started laughing again.
