But then I reminded myself that he’d been the one to callmeearlier today. He was probably with a client, that was all. I just needed to chill. It was just that now I’d realized I was emotionally invested, I had this irrational fear that Miller didn’t feel the same.
So when he texted back after what felt like forever and asked if I wanted to meet him for dinner, I slumped against the front counter at work with relief. There was just one problem.
I’d love to but I’m working afternoons.
The three dots did their dance across the screen, my hopes rising and falling along with them, and then the message appeared.
Why don’t I come over and bring something? Unless Goose Run has good takeout?
I snorted. It was like he’d never been here.
Goose Run has zero takeout unless you count the hot dogs from the gas station, and we’re not eating those.
In that case, Indian?
I typed:
Sounds good. I finish at 7.
“What are you grinning at?” Chase demanded, glancing over from where he was playing with his phone at the coffee counter.
“Miller’s coming over later.”
Chase smirked and said, “I can go out if you want. It’ll only cost you twenty bucks.”
“I only have ten,” I said, “but I’ll do your laundry for two weeks.”
“Deal,” he said, grinning. “And Cash’s.”
Chase was a mercenary little shit, but I considered it ten bucks well spent because Cash was already working a late shift tonight and Wilder was stripping at a bachelorette party over in Brodnax, so it meant I’d have the house to myself.
It would be a lot easier to talk to Miller without the guys hanging around. And if things went like I hoped they would, I definitely didn’t want an audience. My plan was pretty loose, but basically it went something along the lines of:
I’d tell Miller I really liked him and suggest we take this to the next level.
Miller would feel the same and he’d agree.
Then we’d seal the deal with boyfriend blow jobs.
I wasn’t sure if they were any different from regular blow jobs, but I was willing to do the research.
Like, it wasn’t a very detailed plan, but it had everything I needed.
Chase narrowed his eyes at me. “Wait, you’re not gonna fuck on the couch again, are you?”
“I wasn’t planning on it,” I said, laughing.
I hadn’t been planning on it last time either, but he didn’t need to know that.
When I got home that night, I looked around the house again and wished it was… better. A bit newer, a bit cleaner, instead of a lived-in old house that, even if we scrubbed it from floor to ceiling—which we never had and never would, let’s be clear—would still be full of scuff marks, wear and tear, and places where the paint was peeling. And then I told myself to get my head out of my ass. This house was my home, for better or worse. Besides, Miller hadn’t had a problem with it so far. Or if he had, he hadn’t said anything. Maybe I was inventing issues that didn’t exist.
I was doing pretty well in life, you know?
I had a job I didn’t love, but it was a steady one, and I was saving up so I could study to become an EMT. College right after school hadn’t been in the cards for me, and that was fine too because I was still young. Lots of people had a gap year or two. Okay, approaching four. Whatever.
Anyway, the point was that I had a long-term plan, and it was a lot more thought out than the one I was gonna hit Miller with tonight. As soon as I had enough money saved, I’d enroll at community college and get myself certified, and once I had an EMT job lined up, I’d quit my job at Goose Run Gas.
The thing was, community college wasn’t expensive, not when you compared it to state colleges, but at the same time,when you’d just given your last ten dollars to your roommate so he didn’t cockblock you tonight, it sure felt a long way away. Lately, it felt as though I’d been treading water instead of actually getting ahead.
