I nodded, playing with my comforter. “Yeah, but they don’t always get it. None of them have ever dealt with anxiety before, which sometimes makes it hard being around them.”
“Is that why you live on the Southern side of town?” He asked, his voice gentle like he expected the question to be difficult for me to answer.
I looked up at him and blinked. “What do you mean?”
“Your parents live on the Northern side of town.” He started slowly.
I nodded, still not seeing where he was going with this.
He stared at me for a moment, the look on his faceindicating he was waiting for me to connect the dots myself. I stared back at him blankly.
“Aren’t there like… I don’t know, factions? You’re either on the Northern side or the Southern side?” He asked, the hesitancy in his voice telling me he wasn’t sure about his thought process anymore.
I could feel my face contorting in confusion. Where had he even gotten that idea? “Are you talking about the doctors in town?” I asked, the connection finally hitting me.
“Doctors?”
I nodded, “There are two doctors in town that are brothers. I don’t know the whole story, but there’s some bad blood between them and they both started opposing clinics on the opposite sides of town from each other. For as long as I can remember, you go to one or the other. You never dabble between the two. You’re either a Dr. Murphy patient or a Dr. Dale patient.”
Derek just stared at me with his lips parted while he processed that information.
A slow smile spread over my face. “What? Feeling a little off kilter having your favorite town lore torn apart?” I teased, poking my fingers into his sides.
He yelped, squirming as he burst into laughter from the onslaught of my tickles. We rolled around on the bed for a bit, my own chuckles joining the mix as Derek twisted his body, attempting to get relief while I continually attacked his waist.
Eventually, we settled and I rolled onto my back beside him, puffing out residual laughs from my chest. Derek’s grin was so mesmerizing and bright, I would have sworn the sun came out despite the late hour. He propped himself onto his side, resting his head into his hand to look down at me. Sunsets on the water weren’t as pretty as he was right now, laying in my bed beside me.
“Have you ever thought about talking with your parentsabout how you feel?” Derek’s eyes bounced over my features, his smile sliding from his face.
I let out a heavy sigh, the playful moment broken by his serious expression.
“In what way? They know I have anxiety.” I muttered, feeling almost annoyed that we were back on this topic again.
“But, do they know that you feel excluded from them? Have you ever tried to explain what the anxiety is like?” His tone was gentle, his free hand coming over to delicately intertwine our fingers.
“What would that do?” I retorted, feeling like a petulant toddler as I burrowed my face into my chest.
“Help them to understand you so they can better support you.” He supplied, the smile on his face telling me he wasn’t annoyed with my attitude.
“They love you Colton. They won’t know how to be there for you unless you tell them.” He continued, rubbing his thumb along the side of my palm. It was soothing and helped ease the defensive turmoil that was bubbling in my stomach.
“I know,” I admitted, “But, that isn’t a conversation normal people have with their parents. Everyone else in the world with normal brains gets to live life without stopping and saying, ‘Sorry I shut down on you, my brain was running through the twenty-five different possible scenarios that this conversation could end up going and it overheated, please hold while I reboot’.”
Derek’s laugh was light and airy. I thought it might make my hackles rise again, but instead, my chest lightened, pulling a smile to my face too.
“I’m sure you’ve heard this before in therapy, but normal is a terrible word. Normal doesn’t even describe the majority population on a variety of different things. You shouldn’t compare yourself. You are you, Colton. And for the record, I think your brain is pretty fucking awesome.”
Rolling my head to the side, my smile grew wider. “Yeah?”
He nodded, his features softened as he looked down on me. “You’re amazing, and wonderful, and kind, and a whole lot of other descriptors, too.”
I tugged him to me, wrapped my arms around his upper body, and inhaled his scent deeply. He smelled expensive, like a luxury cologne that had notes of tobacco and sandalwood, with a mix of something spicy.
His body settled easily onto mine, the weight of him helping to keep me grounded. He pressed his face into my neck, sending small shivers down my spine.
“Talk with your parents.” He whispered. “Then, your brothers.”
“I will.” I whispered back.
