I wasn’t prepared for the honesty in his reply. His voice didn’t waver. He meant what the fuck he said, and blood rushed to my groin.
“I know I still need to talk to them, but what about you?”
“Me?” Why couldn’t I say more than that? A lump sat in my throat while a million different emotions assaulted me.
“Yeah, you,” Soul laughed lightly. “Harley would be with all three of us. Rico would be with me and Harley. And I would be with them.”
“What’s the question?”
“Well, you would only be with Harley. And as much as I want us to be exclusive, maybe it isn’t fair to expect you to close yourself off to new connections when?—”
“I don’t want anybody else,” I said firmly.
“Okay.” Did he sound relieved? Maybe even breathless suddenly. “Good to know.”
“How does it feel?”
“How does what feel?”
“Loving two people at once.” And I didn’t need to ask if he loved them. Soul couldn’t hide his feelings. He only slipped under theradar because outside of this house, not everyone knew how to read him like we could.
“Oh, that. It doesn’t feel like anything out of the norm. It feels like what I was born to do. I love Harlow and I love Rico. I’min lovewith them.” He turned my head to massage the other side. “It wasn’t a conscious decision. I just knew I loved them both and wanted them both. Rico is so intense. So passionate and possessive. He takes care of me when I don’t know I need it. I love that about him.”
I smiled at the love in his voice before it turned to pure adoration when he brought up Harlow.
“With Harley, I get to be clumsy and tender and protective. Her heart is as soft as mine and she’s always in my corner.”
Gently, he placed my head back on the table.
“I might not explain it well, but I love them both so deeply and differently.”
“Nah,” I said when he grabbed my hand. “You explained it perfectly.”
So perfectly my heart was now racing, and my mouth was dry. Unnamed feelings flowed through me as Soul pulled on each of my fingers.
“You’d be me and Rico’s metamour.”
“Metamour? What’s that?”
“It means you’re dating someone we’re also dating. And even though we aren’t romantically involved, we’re still together. You’re as vital to us working as anybody else in our polycule.”
The terminology he was throwing around had my head spinning. One day in the future, I’d ask him to run it back for me. But right now, my dick was poking the table beneath me and I needed to think about something else.
Otherwise, I’d have to explain why the thought of us all being together,officially, made me feel like everything was going to be okay. Like I’d finally be getting everything I wanted. Even though I’d never put words to what I wanted in the first place.
My dick jumped again, and I swore under my breath.
“You okay?” came Soul’s concerned reply. “This shouldn’t hurt.”
Still, his hold on my hand gentled, lightly caressing over my knuckles.
“It’s not that—I’m fine,” I answered, sounding as disjointed as I felt.
I kept my head turned away from him and breathed through the hard-on trying to fuck up the vibe. I didn’t know why I was turned on.
That was a lie.
Hearing him talk about our future, like we were all a sure thing, tipped me over the edge.
