Swimming.
Walking up and down the island.
Shopping for shit I didn’t need on Rainbow Row.
And most importantly, avoiding the three men who didn’t deserve having to deal with me at my worst.
Last night, I completely ran out of fuel. I didn’t even remember putting myself to bed. When I got in the shower, my whole body ached like I had the flu when it was really just my muscles cursing me out for the nonstop movement.
But what the hell else was I supposed to do when it seemed like my mother had blocked me? Either that, or her phone was conveniently off every time I called or texted her.
I needed to sit down somewhere and appreciate that my thirtieth birthday was Friday and I didn’t have a plan. If this were any other birthday, I’d be checking into a new hotel in a new country, scared I would miss something if I went to bed.
Now all I wanted to do was sleep.
This was deeper than a difference of opinion.
Yes, my feelings were hurt. But I was in shock. Plain and simple.
My mother and I had never had a petty disagreement. We never blew up at each other. She’d never talked to me the way she had on Sunday, and I didn’t know if I would ever get over that.
Brock was one thing. His dramatics had been more surface level. By the time we left Salt, he was drunk as hell, but he wasn’t repulsed either. He hugged me and told me we would talk another time.
But my mom…
Mymom.
I was still trying to understand the words she threw at me.
She thought I was a pass around. That Soul, Christian and Rico would never respect me, or love me.
It was fucked up. That was all I could say about it.
“Are you leaving us?”
When the bed moved beneath me, the sound that came out of me was ungodly.
Because the “bed” was Christian, and I’d been too lost in my head to notice.
If it wasn’t for the bear hug he trapped me in, I would’ve landed on the floor when I tried to roll away.
“Why am I on top of you?” I mumbled into his pec. The muscle flexed under my cheek, and I knew he’d done it on purpose.
“It was the only way all three of us were fitting on this little ass bed.”
Three?
I raised my head and found Soul taking up the rest of the full-size bed in a deep sleep, his face less than an inch from Christian’s broad shoulder.
“Last night was the second night you didn’t come to bed.” Chris waited for our eyes to meet. “I’m not the only one who can’t sleep without you.”
Dropping my head to his chest again, I listened to the thrumming of his heart.
It was strong. Steady.Sure.
Everything I equated with Christian.
“Are you isolating yourself because you’re trying to figure out a way to leave us, sweetheart?”
