You really don’t. Emma has never been this happy and I’m just glad to see it. You’re so good for her. For both of them.
My heart does a slow roll in my chest at Molly’s words because all I’ve ever wanted was to be good for her. Some days I still feel like I’m not, but I have more days where I feel likewhat we’re building is the good and strong and forever kind of love, and that’s more than I’ve ever had before. I flip back to my messages with Emma.
Me
Molly will drive you home. Maddy and I will be waiting. Don’t rush.
Ems
You made those plans for me?
I know you hate driving in storms, and I know you would worry about me taking Maddy out in one. I made it so you didn’t have to do either of those things.
I’m going to motor past the fact that you made logistical plans for me I could have made by myself and just say thank you for thinking of me.
I know you can make all your own plans, but why should you have to? I like making your life easier when I can.
Molly’s right. You really are a swoon machine.
Just for you, Ems.
Satisfied, I click off my phone and get ready to put the rest of my plan into action.
“I can use this knife myself?”
Maddy stands on a low stool at the counter, studying the special knife I bought her. Was it ridiculous to spend fifty dollars at a specialty cooking store on a set of knives designed for kids? Maybe, but the look on her face when I handed her the set was worth it.
“Yep. It’s made for kids. It’s a little smaller to fit better in your hand and the tip is rounded instead of pointed. It’s still sharp, so don’t forget what I taught you about using knives safely, but this way you can have your own knives for when we cook together. A chef’s knives are very important.”
Maddy nods seriously. “Can I cut the avocados?”
I smile, knowing she would ask. It’s her favorite part of taco night.
“Absolutely. How about you make the guacamole all by yourself tonight?”
Her eyes open wide. “And you won’t help at all?”
I run my hand over her hair, charmed by her. “Not unless you need me to. Do you remember the ingredients?”
“I do, but I’m not using tomatoes or onions because those are gross.”
I laugh as I hand her a cutting board and a bowl. “You’re the chef. That means you get to do it however you want.”
I keep an eye on her but am filled with pride as I watch her cut the avocados, use the garlic press, juice a lime, and use the perfect amount of salt, all by herself and just the way I taught her. Her brow is furrowed in concentration as she uses a fork to mash it all up, so I’m surprised when she speaks.
“What does your house look like?”
I’m surprised by her question but try not to show it. “Why do you ask?”
“I mean, you’re always here. I guess I was wondering why we never go to your house.”
I lean my elbows on the counter so I can be at eye level with her while she keeps mashing.
“I come here because I like it here. I guess I’ve never really liked my house that much because it’s just me who lives there. You and Emma live here, and you’re my favorite people. I like to be where my favorite people are. It feels like home here.”
I feel the truth of the words as I speak them. I bought my house when I was still playing. I was young and cocky and had mountains of disposable income, so I bought a big house and only kind of furnished it and never really thought much of it because it was just a house. A place to sleep at night and keep my shit and that’s it. Emma’s house is a home, and it occurs to me that this is the first time I’ve ever really had one of those. Even though it’s not exactly mine, maybe one day it could be.
“It feels like home to me here too.” Maddy’s voice is so low it’s almost a whisper, and she’s concentrating very hard on her guacamole. “I like it here more than anywhere I’ve ever lived. I don’t want to leave.”
