It’s Emma’sI’m not going anywherethat cuts through my dread and has me pushing through the door with her and breathing in the rink air without wanting to turn and run in the other direction.
It’s her hand in mine that lets me step up to the rink, putting the toes of my skates against the ice.
It’s her whispered reassurance and herwe’ll do it togetherthat has me taking my first tentative step onto the ice in fifteen years.
It’s Maddy racing over and taking my other hand that has me pushing off with my right foot and gliding along the ice in the rhythm imprinted on my heart, even after so many years away.
It’s Emma’s whispered “I’m so fucking proud of you” as she lifts my hand and presses a kiss to my knuckles.
It’s Maddy’s scream of, “Faster, Jeremy!”
It’s one of my hands in each of theirs and my blades on the ice and the cold air on my face and the rhythm of my skates and two red haired girls I love with everything I am and everything I will ever be.
It’s circling the rink again and again and not thinking of everything I lost but instead being grateful for everything I’ve gained.
It’s tumbling off the rink together, laughing and sweaty and breathing hard, and taking off our skates and piling into Emma’s car.
It’s a loud pizza place with my hand on Emma’s leg under the table and a stop for ice cream and a car ride back to Emma’s house with Maddy bouncing in the back seat, chattering away about her day.
It’s reading the last chapter of the firstHarry Potterbook and Maddy’s head on my shoulder and tucking her in and her two stuffed dogs and a unicorn nightlight and her whispered “Good night, Jeremy” while Emma watches from the doorway.
It’s curling up with Emma on her couch and eating Cinnamon Toast Crunch straight from the box and stealing kisses and whispering secrets.
It’s carrying Emma upstairs and stripping off her clothes and sinking inside her and pouring out my love for her in every way but with words. It’s deep, wet kisses and gasps and moans andpleas and holding off as long as I can to make it last and Emma rolling me over and rising above me, hips rising and falling until she comes on a groan and takes me with her.
It’s wrapping myself around her until she falls asleep and holding her until the sun is peeking over the horizon, tiptoeing outside and then coming back in, pretending I’m coming over for breakfast because we never talked about how to handle sleepovers with a kid in the house.
It’s the best day of my life and my girls are with me, giving me back the pieces of myself I thought had been lost forever.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Emma
“Okay, bye!”
Maddy waves at Jeremy and me and scampers up the bus steps, taking a seat next to Maya Casey. They flash twin grins out the window and I think back to the quiet, reserved girl she was when she first came to live with me and how far she’s come.
How far I’ve come. On my own, with Maddy, and with Jeremy.
I consider this as I glance up at Jeremy watching the bus as it drives down the street. When he’s here in the morning, he never takes his eyes off the bus until it disappears around the corner. It’s like he needs the reassurance Maddy is safe for as long as he can have it. I can feel his love for her, and it fills me right up.
I take in his stubbled jaw and the backwards hat he always wears for our post-bus stop morning runs. The long-sleeve T-shirt stretched over his chest, sleeves pushed up to showcase the muscled, veiny forearms I’ve lusted over since he drove me home from the gala eight years ago. The thigh tattoo peeking out from under the shorts he wears despite the October chill. His hand wrapped around the mug filled with the too sweet coffee heloves. Did I know hands could be sexy? I certainly did not, but fuck does Jeremy have amazing hands.
Like he senses my eyes on him, he turns to me, his warm brown eyes immediately flashing with heat at whatever he sees on my face. A curl of lust snakes through me.
Standing on my tiptoes, I wrap my arms around Jeremy’s neck and pull his mouth to mine. The kiss is slow and deep and too intimate for a sidewalk in the bright fall morning sun, but I don’t give a shit. Jeremy wraps his free arm around my waist, tugging me flush against him. He tilts his head to deepen the kiss, sliding his tongue into my mouth to taste and tease. When I push my hips against his hardening cock, he groans into my mouth, tightening his arm around my waist to hold me in place and breaking away to kiss along my jaw in a way that has all my nerve endings tingling.
“Keep it up, Pretty Girl, and this run will never happen,” Jeremy rasps, lips grazing my ear.
I press my lips to his throat, loving the salty taste of his skin and the way the smell of him —of clean laundry and soap from the shower we shared late last night andJeremy—surrounds me.
“I was thinking we could get our exercise a different way this morning.”
The answering rumble in his chest has me smiling against his throat and then yelping as he bends his knees and lifts me with one arm locked under my ass, his other hand still gripping the mug. The show of strength has me clenching my thighs.
Jeremy’s lips drift along my neck and jaw as he carries me up the stairs and into my house. He kicks the door shut and walks me straight to the kitchen, dumping his coffee and depositing the mug in the dishwasher. The move has me giggling into his neck despite my full body arousal and the feel of his huge, hard cock between my legs.
“What?” Jeremy asks, nipping at my earlobe and sucking it into his mouth.
