He says that last part in a low voice, gaze drifting from mine, and love just pours out of my heart for him. The sweet boy who turned into such a good man.
Mine.
I protect what’s mine.
Hands still on his face, I tip his chin up, bringing my mouth to his in a kiss that is long and slow and full of passion and love and all the feelings I can’t give him yet in words.
“It’s okay to be scared, Jer. We both fucked it all up eight years ago. You ran, and I let you. That’s on both of us. But we’re older now, and we understand things we didn’t back then. If you need to run, run to me. I won’t let you go. Be here with me, and we’ll stay for each other.”
Emotion swarms Jeremy’s eyes and he leans forward, wrapping his arms around my waist and burying his face in my neck. Angst and relief come off him in waves and tears blur my vision as I hold him tight.
His lips graze the shell of my ear when he speaks, his fluttering breath sending shivers down my spine.
“There hasn’t been anyone since you. Since that night eight years ago. You’re all I could think about, even when you would barely speak to me, and I deserved it, and I didn’t think you would ever be mine.”
He pulls back, eyes begging me to understand what he’s saying. I do. I’m caught between disbelief, fierce need, and enormous, all-consuming love.
“No one else?”
He shakes his head. “No one. Not since you. I never wanted to be with anyone else. Only you. It’s only ever been you.”
I give myself a second to process the enormity of this moment and his words and decide to give him something too.
“I wish I could say there hasn’t been anyone since you but, well, there has.”
I shrug and his gaze darkens.
“I fucking hate them all,” he growls. I snicker because Jeremy growling is equal parts hot and hilarious.
“You can hate them all you want, but I want you to know that you were my first and I’m really hoping you’ll be my last.”
It takes him some time, but I see the exact second he processes my words.
“I was your…” He trails off.
“Yep.”
“You were a virgin.”
“I was.”
“You didn’t tell me.”
“Nope.”
Guilt covers his face, and it’s both predictable and stupid.
“Shit, Ems, you should have told me. I would have…well, I don’t know what I would have done, but I would have done something other than what I did, which was…”
“Fuck me into the mattress like I asked you to?” I interrupt. “I was twenty-two years old, Jeremy. I wasn’t a kid, and I wanted to sleep with you. Virginity is a patriarchal construct to make women ashamed of sex, and nothing we did was shameful. It’s Gloria Steinem’s world, baby, and we’re just living in it. I like sex, and I liked having sex with you. If I had told you, you would have been all careful with me and treated me like I was made of glass. I didn’t want that. I wanted you to fuck me hard and throw me around a little and you were very, very good at it.”
I shoot him a grin just as he tackles me to the mattress. He lays on top of me, dragging every ridge of his long, hard cock over my slit, swallowing my gasp with his mouth on mine.
“If you think I was good at it then, just wait, Pretty Girl. I’ve learned a thing or two in the last eight years.”
“Have you?” I give him my most innocent smile. “Because I could swear you just told me you haven’t been with anyone since me so…”
My words are cut off by my low moan when Jeremy reaches between my legs and shoves two fingers deep inside me. He curls them up and assaults my clit with his thumb in rough circles that have me skirting the edge almost immediately. He’s relentless,fucking me with his fingers and pressing harder against my clit until I’m all feeling and sensation and desperate pleas. Just as I’m about to tumble straight over the edge, he yanks his hand away, giving me a wicked grin when I whimper in protest.
