Shit. My mouth moved faster than my brain and I guess that just slipped right out. And I don’t even remember texting it. Without the time to dwell on it, I do what I do best and laugh it off.
“I mean, she lives with you, but she said I’m her best friend, so, our girl.”
Emma gives me a look that tells me she knows I’m full of shit but lets it go.
“Let’s do it.”
With one last press of my lips to hers, we leave the office and walk to the rink entrance. When the ice comes into view, I freeze with my hand on the glass, anxiety pooling in my stomach and my heart starting to race the way it does every time I get close to an ice rink. I’m assaulted by images of the last time I was on the ice. When I stood alone in the tunnel and watched the team move on without me.
It’s why I try never to come here.
All the lightness and calm from my stolen moments with Emma in the office are gone. My breath hitches and my arms are heavy, and I’m ten seconds away from a panic attack. This time, though, I’m not alone.
Emma wraps her arms around me from behind, laying her head on my back and speaking quietly.
“It’s okay, Jeremy. You’re not alone. Just breathe with me.”
I do my best to slow my breathing. To match my breaths to the rise and fall of her chest against my back.
“I know this is hard for you. That you miss hockey and skating and the way things were. You should never have had to go through that. It wasn’t fair. But look over there.”
Emma leaves one arm around my waist and steps to my side, pointing through the glass to where Maddy is stepping carefullyonto the ice, lining up against the boards with the other kids. Maddy lifts her head, and when she spots us, she gives us a giant smile and a wave. Seeing her happy loosens something in my chest, making it easier to breathe.
Emma turns to me, cupping my face in her hands.
“It doesn’t have to be all or nothing, Jer. You can have this part of your life back. It won’t look the same way, but there can be joy in something new, too. Let me help you find it.”
I glance back over at Maddy, who is taking careful steps on the ice with an instructor holding both of her hands. I can practically feel what it would be like to be out there teaching these kids to skate myself, blades gliding against the ice and cold air on my face. I take a deep breath, and I nod.
Emma smiles. “Okay. Let’s go watch our girl.”
She takes my hand in hers, walking with me through the door into the cold, familiar hockey rink air.
And it feels just a little like home.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Jeremy
“Relax, dude, and stop fidgeting. It won’t look good in the pictures,” I say to Ben, as we stand under a floral canopy in the outdoor garden at Phipps Conservatory with Jordan and Asher, waiting for the wedding to start.
If looks could kill, I would be extremely dead right now.
“Just wait until the love of your fucking life—the reason your heart beats and air fills your damn lungs—is about to walk towards you in a wedding dress and promise to spend the rest of her life with you and then tell me if you can relax,” Ben shoots back, his fingers tapping absently against his thigh.
“Haven’t you already promised to spend your lives together?”
Ben tugs at the collar of his tux like it’s strangling him.
“This is different. I don’t know why it is; it just is. We should have spent last night together. Why did we decide to spend last night apart?”
“Because you told Hallie you wanted to be traditional,” I say, amused at the way my extremely even tempered, rarely gets anxious about anything best friend is completely unraveling as he waits for the wedding to start.
“Tradition sucks. Why the fuck is this taking so long?”
Asher leans past Jordan, who is standing on my other side. “See now this is why Julie and I got married in the backyard. No aisle to stare down and no waiting. Just my girl and me standing next to each other.”
Jordan elbows Asher in the ribs. “We know, we know, yours was the best wedding of all time and no wedding could top it, and Julie is the best girl in the world and no one is better than she is.”
