“It’s new and I don’t know what it is or where it’s going but it feels…right. I don’t know how to explain it better than that. I think maybe we need each other.”
“I told you he was yours,” Rachel says.
I nod, unsurprised that she’s bringing this up again. “You did.”
“I told you Maddy would need you both.”
“Are you just here to gloat, Mom?” Julie asks, smirking at Rachel.
“I don’t gloat, Jules. I just tell it like it is. Jeremy has always held a piece of himself back from everyone. I think Emma and Maddy together are what it’s going to take for him to finally let it all out.”
She smiles at my surprised look.
“Don’t look so surprised, Em. That boy has been mine since the day I met him, just like you have. I know everything there is to know about all of my children. What Jeremy needs is love and patience and kindness. And maybe, eventually, a little kick in the ass if he doesn’t get there fast enough on his own.”
I laugh even as I turn her words around in my head and give her the absolute truth of it.
“I have all of that for him.”
She nods, looking satisfied. “I know you do.”
“Em, what do you…”
“Emma!” Maddy cuts off whatever Hallie was about to say, flying out of the dressing room in a cloud of pink tulle and throwing herself at me, wrapping her little arms around my neck. This is the first time she’s hugged me like this, and my eyes immediately blur with tears. Looking over her shoulder, I see my feelings mirrored in everyone else’s eyes too.
I try to pull myself together as she steps back, but the sheer joy on her face makes it impossible.
“Do you like my dress?” She throws her arms out and does an honest to god twirl, and it’s the most carefree I have ever seen her.
“Maddy, it’s the most beautiful dress I’ve ever seen.”
She grins at me. “Molly went to find me pink shoes in my size, and she said if you say it’s okay, she can take me to get my ears pierced. Maya has her ears pierced and so do all the girls in my grade. I want mine too.”
“It’s definitely okay.” I look over at Molly standing in front of the dressing room, doing nothing to hide her own emotion. Tears stream down her face, and I have never loved her more.
“Molly is the best at picking earrings.”
“I know.” Maddy nods wisely and I smother a laugh.
Before I can answer her, Maya comes out of the dressing room in a purple dress, and then it’s a whirlwind of shoes and hair bows and two friends smiling and laughing together and making silly faces in the mirror while we all take pictures.
“Okay, ladies,” Rachel says, bending down so she’s eye level with the girls. What do you say we buy these dresses and then take ourselves to dinner and eat dessert first?”
Two pairs of eyes turn into saucers as they nod furiously, and we all laugh. Rachel guides them to the dressing room and helps them take off the dresses, then insists on paying for it all.
“None of my children have given me grandchildren yet, so this is the closest I can get for now,” she says, giving both Hallie and Julie a pointed side-eye, making us all laugh again.
And then, with my friends by my side and my little girl’s hand in mine, we walk out into the fall sunshine.
Jeremy
How was dress shopping?
Me
[pic attached]
That is…a lot of pink.
