“Why’d you stop?” Emma asks breathlessly.
I chuckle, just as breathlessly, even as anxiety and lust braid together and race through my blood.
“Trust me Ems, there is nothing I want more right now than to kiss you here on this couch for the rest of the night. And…other things.”
I give her a sly grin, and with a glint in her eye, she rolls her hips again, sliding her pussy right along my hard cock, the clothes between us not enough to disguise the warmth of her.
“Let’s go ahead and do that then,” she says.
Caught between a laugh and a groan at how good she feels, trying to restrain myself from tearing off every barrier between us, I grip her hips and press a kiss to her forehead, then lean back so I can look her in the eyes. The sight of her—face flushed, eyes bright, lips a little swollen from kissing me—has me reevaluating what I’m about to say, but I hold firm.
I need to figure my shit out. And she’s worth it.
“I can’t believe I’m about to say this because, well, clearly, I want you. Badly.”
I gesture to where my dick is tenting my shorts, and Emma huffs out a laugh.
“But I think we should take this slow. We never talked about what happened eight years ago. One day, we should.”
At the mention of eight years ago, Emma breaks eye contact, looking everywhere but at me. I grip her chin gently and bring her gaze back to mine, giving her a little bit more of my truth.
“I messed up back then, Ems. Badly. I don’t know a lot about relationships and permanence, and I can’t guarantee I won’t fuck it all up again, but I’d really like to learn how not to. I think maybe that starts with spending more time together like we did tonight. You’re worth it. You’re worth everything, Ems.”
Emma kisses me softly before sliding off my lap and sitting back on the couch facing me.
“I think you’re wrong, you know.”
“Wrong about what?”
“You won’t fuck it up. And even if you try, I won’t let you. You’re not the only one who messed up back then, Jer. One day we’ll talk about it, but I think for now, maybe it’s time we both forgive ourselves for that night and focus on what’s happening now.”
This woman. I would crawl on my knees for her. In the sexy way. And also, in any other way she wanted me to.
“I think you’re right.”
She grins at me. “I’m always right. Want to watch more ofThe Officeand eat leftover cereal with me?”
I breathe a small sigh of relief that the feelings portion of the night is over. I’m no good at it. I want to try to be, but I’m afraid that maybe my brain is wired in a way that makes all this just a little too terrifying.
“There is literally nothing I want to do more.”
She jumps off the couch and straightens her sweater. “I’ll get the boxes. I’m pouring M&M’s into the Reese’s Peanut Butter Puffs. The combo will explode your world.”
I beam at her back as she walks towards the kitchen. And then we sit in front of the TV for hours, eating too much cerealand mixing it all with different flavors of M&M’s and stealing kisses between episodes, and it’s the perfect night.
When it’s time for me to leave, Emma walks me to the door, but before she can pull it open, I spin her around and push her back against it, gripping her hips while I kiss her deeply. As my tongue slicks along hers, she brings her hands up to tug at my hair the way she already knows I like and hooks her right leg around my calf, bringing our hips flush. I can’t help but grind into her a little, groaning into her mouth at the friction on my cock, visions of taking her upstairs and stripping her naked to sink inside her taking over my brain.
It’s Emma who breaks the kiss this time, pushing me back gently with a wry grin.
“I think it might be easier to take this slow in theory than in practice.”
“Fuck yes, it is,” I mutter, leaning down and kissing her cheek.
“Thanks for tonight, Ems. I think it was the most fun I’ve had in a long time. Do you want to run this week?”
“I really do, but I don’t think I can. I don’t want to leave Maddy yet, but when she goes to school next week, I’m going to try and run after she gets on the bus, before I go to the office. Nights are off the table for a while, so I guess I’m going to start seeing what you love so much about morning runs.”
She rolls her eyes and makes a face, like she can’t possibly understand what’s so great about running first thing in the morning.
