Julie laughs and studies the underwear in her hand. “Okay, yeah, he totally will. I just feel like I need to assert my independence sometimes.”
“As if you would ever lose your independence,” Molly says, unzipping her garment bag. “Asher likes when you go allI am woman, hear me roaron him. I think he gets off on it.”
Julie slides us both a sly grin. “Oh, he definitely does.”
Julie radiates contentment as she talks about Asher. It’s still new for her. Her baseline before Asher used to be all anxiety all the time, and I love that she has found her happy. A snapshot of Jeremy and me sitting on my couch flashes through my brain, but I push it away before it takes root. Because even though I did feel more content than I have in a long time sitting with him in my living room, that was a single moment in time. It didn’t mean anything more than a friend helping a friend, and it certainly doesn’t mean he’s where I’m going to find the kind of contentment I see in Hallie and Julie, now that they have Ben and Asher in their lives.
“Step it up, Em; we have a bride waiting.” Molly’s voice snaps me out of my head, and I see that she and Julie are dressed and ready to go downstairs. Meanwhile, I’m still standing here in my underwear, angsting. Ugh.
“You okay, Em?” asks Julie gently. “First the peanut M&M’s, and now it seems like you’re a million miles away.”
I sigh, unzipping my own garment bag. “It’s nothing.”
Another picture of Jeremy sitting on my couch. The note on my coffee table. My car at the curb this morning. Him bolting out of my bed eight years ago like the sheets were on fire.Stammering sentences. Red faces. A million and one renditions ofJeremy likes Emma.
It’s definitely not nothing.
Shit.I look at Julie and Molly’s worried faces. It’s new for me, to be the object of their concern. I’m usually the helper, not the one who needs the help, and the role reversal lowers my defenses enough for the words to slip out before my brain can catch up and stop them.
“Okay, so it’s not nothing. It’s something. But we have dresses to try on, and a bride waiting for us downstairs. I promise to tell you, but afterwards, okay?”
Molly takes the garment bag from me and tosses it over a chair before wrapping me in a hug. “You can tell us anything, you know that right?”
I sigh again. I guess I sigh now. Angst is stupid. “I know. I will. Let’s do this first.”
When Molly and I break apart, Julie studies me and nods. “We’re taking the rest of the day off. All of us.”
Molly drops her head back and laughs. “Jesus, Jules, when you go allmarry the quarterback and Zen your life,you really commit.”
Julie shrugs, a satisfied smile on her face. “Work will always be important, but if we’re not all happy, what’s the point? We’re trying on dresses for Hallie’s wedding, and Emma needs us. This is what we’re doing today. Work can wait until tomorrow.”
This time I throw my arms around Julie and hold on, filled with love for all my friends, but especially her. “I love you, Jules. And I’m so damn proud of you.”
“Hell,” Julie says, sniffling against my shoulder. “I love you too. It’s so us that we’re having this moment while two of us are in fancy dresses, Hallie is waiting for us to come down and have ourProject Runwaymoment, and you’re hugging me in your underwear.”
Before I can respond, the door to Molly’s office bursts open, and Hallie comes storming in, startling all three of us.
“What’s going on up here? Why is Jules crying? Why are you in your underwear?” She points to me, an accusatory look on her face. “I’m the bride. Emotional moments are supposed to happen with ME. Not while you’re all up here together and I’m waiting downstairs by myself for a hundred years.”
“Fuck, Hal. Bridezilla much?” Molly snarks.
Hallie just looks at all of us with herI need explanationsface.
“Dresses first. Details second,” Julie says, handing me back the garment bag with my dress in it. “Since Hallie is impatient and ruined our big entrance, we’re doing this now. Emma, put it on.”
“With the right underwear.” Molly tosses me my new bra, which I slip on. Obviously, it’s a perfect fit. Molly never misses. I step into my dress and slide it up, turning so Molly can zip me up in the back.
“Oh my god, you guys,” Hallie breathes, her eyes filling with tears that immediately spill down her face.
“Wait! No crying until the outfits are complete.” Molly rushes back to her closet and comes out with four shoe boxes, handing one to each of us and keeping one for herself. “We’re short on time, so I bought everyone’s wedding shoes. Including yours, Hal. And if anyone hates them, you’re wearing them anyway because you’ll be wrong.”
Hallie opens hers first to the most perfect wedding shoes I have ever seen, and when we’re done gushing over them, we all open our boxes and slip on the shoes Molly found for each of us.
“Mol, I hate to say it but when you’re right, you’re right. These dresses rock.”
“Someone please mark down the time and date Jules told me I was right. I want to remember it for posterity.”
We all laugh as we take each other in. Molly was definitely right. Julie’s deep purple, Molly’s burnt orange, and my gold flow together like the most perfect fall bouquet, and none of them look like bridesmaid dresses. They look like us, which is exactly what Hallie wanted. It’s a surreal moment, standing here in the dresses we’ll wear when Hallie walks down the aisle. Julie might have been the first to get married, but Hallie’s is the first formal wedding, and it feels like we are all standing on the precipice of something huge. Like all our lives are about to change, not just Hallie’s.
