“What if you leave too?” Her voice is a whisper and it wavers a little, her lower lip trembling when she looks up. “Parents aren’t supposed to leave, but my dad left, and now he’s not coming back. I want to live here. I want to stay here forever with you, but what if you leave and don’t come back too?”
I open my mouth to talk and then close it, not wanting to get in Emma’s way. But then she nudges me with her elbow and nods.
“I’m afraid of that sometimes, too, Little Red.”
“You are?”
“I am. I grew up a lot like you did. My parents couldn’t take care of me either, so I lived in a lot of different places until I was old enough to move away to play hockey.”
I turn fully, so I can look her right in the eyes.
“I think, sometimes, when you grow up like we did, it’s hard to believe people won’t leave because so many people we know did leave.”
Maddy nods, her eyes full of understanding. I think maybe everything I have been through in my life has been worth it for this one moment. Like I was put here in this place at this time so I can teach this little girl that the people who really love us will never leave. And in teaching her, I’m teaching myself too. I take one of Maddy’s hands in mine, holding on while I say this next thing. The most important thing.
“Emma is the best person in the world, and she really loves us both. She’s never going to leave us. I know it’s a little hard. It’shard for me too. But maybe, if we try and trust Emma together, we can make it a little less scary. And if we feel scared, we can talk about it. That way, we can feel scared together instead of alone. How does that sound?”
Maddy nods. “That would be okay.”
I turn to Emma. “What do you think, Ems? Would that be okay with you too?”
Emma nods, smiling through the tears that are now falling freely down her face. “That would absolutely be okay with me.”
I pick Maddy up and settle her on my lap and wrap an arm around Emma, everything I need right here at this table. “I think this calls for a special night. What should we do, Little Red? Your choice.”
She leans her head against my shoulder, thinking. “Can we make another blanket fort in the living room? With tacos?”
“That sounds perfect. Ems, can you be on blanket fort duty? Little Red and I have to make a grocery store run.”
Maddy gasps. “Can we get ice cream, too? With sprinkles?”
“You bet. Go get your shoes and then we’ll head out.”
She flies out of the kitchen, and as soon as she’s out of sight, Emma collapses into me, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly.
I kiss the top of her head, holding her tight against me. “I love you, Ems. I’m so damn proud of you. That was amazing. You are amazing.”
“I’m proud of you too. For the way you talked to Maddy. For what you said. I know this hits a little close to home right now.”
I run my hand up and down Emma’s back, enjoying the feeling of her against me. Of having her close.
“It feels weird to say, and I don’t even know if I believe stuff like this, but if there was any reason for me growing up the way I did, maybe it was so I could help Maddy through this. Show her that she doesn’t have to be afraid of letting people love her.”
Emma leans up and kisses my neck, wrapping herself tighter around me. My heart speeds up the way it always does when she’s this close to me. I hope it never stops.
“I don’t think it’s weird. I think you were meant for each other, and I think you were both meant for me,” Emma replies, eyes bright with happy tears.
“I think so too. I don’t want any kind of life that’s not with both of you.”
I feel Emma smile against my shoulder, and we take another minute together in the quiet before we get up to go get ready for a special night with our girl.
Chapter Forty-Four
Jeremy
Iwake up slowly at first.
My brain just barely comes online, clinging to the final wisps of what feels like a dream, and the slow, drugging pleasure swimming its way through my blood. Climbing higher, reaching out for a precipice I can’t quite touch.
