“It’s something,” I mutter. And so completely something Asher would pick to do.
“Come on.” He pulls me towards the sign and snaps a selfie of us and then taps at his phone. I feel my phone vibrate with the notification that he added it to the shared album he set up earlier today. I pull my phone out to look and of course, we look great. He, particularly, looks fantastic. When we got out of the car, he zipped a navy-blue puffy jacket over the jeans and thermal henley he’s wearing and tugged a black beanie down over his tousled light brown hair before tossing me the same hat I was wearing earlier and zipping up my jacket for me again. When I told him I’ve been zipping my own jacket since I was five years old, he kissed my forehead and said he “wanted to be sure I didn’t get cold.”
And the fucking butterflies flapped their wings.
Asher grabs my hand and pulls me through the entrance to where a small group of people is gathered. I don’t miss him rolling his right shoulder as we walk, a slight wince on his face. He’s done it a bunch of times today, but I still haven’t asked him about it. I figure if he wanted me to know, he would tell me. Asher is not a man who holds back, but he’s holding back this. I’m at peak curiosity.
As we approach the group, a woman dressed in a modified park ranger uniform is just starting to talk. Asher laces his fingers through mine and holds on. Electricity sparks up my arm from the spot our hands are connected, and the way my body reacts to him is both thrilling and confusing. No one has ever had this effect on me; it’s the kind of thing that I didn’t think actually existed—like something out of a romance novel.
The guide claps her hands to get everyone’s attention.
“Welcome to Howl Night everyone! I’m so happy you all braved the cold to be here with us tonight. I hope you’re ready for quite the show. For the next ninety minutes, you are going to, hopefully, see some wolves and learn how they communicate with each other and with us. Before we start the program, you are free to stroll along our walking path. It’s about that time of night when the wolves will be appearing, so keep your eyes peeled.”
The crowd disperses to walk along the path, lined on one side by a fence to, I assume, keep the wolves away from the people. Asher and I walk together, my hand still clasped in his. As we walk, he rattles off facts about wolves. How they mate for life. How they are family animals and apex predators and need lots of space and share ninety-nine point eight percent of their DNA with dogs.
“How do you know all this?”
“You’re not the only one in this relationship who knows how to do research, Juliette.”
“We’re not in a relationship.”
He smirks at me. “That’s what you think.”
I open my mouth to respond, but before I can get any words out, a sleek, silver wolf slinks out from behind a tree, and whatever words I was about to say die in my throat. Its eyes are such a clear blue they are practically glowing as night falls. As wewatch, another wolf approaches and they stand together, tall and proud against the darkening sky.
“Wow,” I say under my breath, unable to look away from the gorgeous, powerful animals.
“You can say that again.” Asher shifts behind me, laying his hands on the fence on either side of me, caging me in. He’s barely touching me, but I am aware of every inch of him as we watch the wolves together.
It’s full dark by the time they call us over to start the program. I could have watched those wolves all day, so we are last to get to the bleachers. There are no spots left, so we stand side by side against the fence and listen to the guide talk about the communication habits of wolves. I zone out, distracted by Asher’s shoulder against mine. Warmth radiates off his body, and his spicy scent wraps around me. I’ve been attracted to men before, but no man has ever invaded my senses the way Asher does. His proximity makes me light-headed. My heart pounds.
“Now, let’s all give it a try!”
The guide lets out a howl that snaps me back to attention.
“Come on everyone, join me. Let’s howl.”
Slowly, the group on the bleachers starts to howl. Literally howl. I feel Asher shift next to me and I turn to him.
“Don’t fucking howl.”
He folds his arms and narrows his eyes at me. “Why not?”
“Because this isn’tTwilight.”
“Would be cool if it was. Jacob really got the raw end of the deal.”
I stare at him. He grins and shrugs. “What? I have four sisters. You think I’ve never seenTwilight? Read the books too.”
“Seriously?”
“You bet. Kyla read them when we were younger, and I was making fun of her for reading girl books. When my mom heard,she took away my phone and all my video games and wouldn’t give them back until I read the first book. Obviously, I got hooked and tore through the whole series. They’re fucking great.”
Asher lights up when he talks about his family; love radiates from him. It makes me miss Ben so acutely I feel it like a living, breathing thing. I’ve been missing him since the summer when he and Hallie got together. I wonder if I’m going to miss him for the rest of my life. And then I feel terrible because I should be happy for them. A better sister would be happy for them. A better friend would be happy for them. A better person would talk this out with them instead of shoving everything down and covering it with caffeine and productivity.
“Hey.” Asher’s gentle voice interrupts my train of thought. He tips my chin up and my eyes meet his. “Where did you go?”
For a minute, I consider telling him. Just letting it out and laying all the deepest, darkest, twistiest pieces of myself on him. I rarely feel safe with anyone, but he makes me feel like I could be safe with him. But here in the dark, surrounded by wolves and howling strangers, isn’t the place.
