As long as they don’t ask me to smile.
“And….” She eyed me hesitantly.
“What?” I asked, but it came out harsher than intended. I forced my barbs to retreat and took a long, deep breath. “Sorry, Jillie,” I said, then tucked my hair away again, grumbling when my finger caught on another knot. I dropped my hand and abandoned the effort. “Just give it to me straight and ignore that I’m a disaster, please.”
“You are not a disaster,” Jillie said, chuckling. “But would it help you to know that I have dried pear puree on my pants?”
I frowned. “No? Well… maybe. I don’t know.” I tilted my head. “Tell me more.”
“I tried to make purees, you know, for when the baby comes. At four this morning.” She grimaced. “Rachel isn’t even due until September.”
“Congratulations, by the way,” I said, leaning my arms on her desk and meeting her eyes. “On the baby. I know I haven’t said that before, and I’m sorry for that too.”
She waved her hand. “No need to be sorry, Ireland. But thank you. You can make it up to us by coming to the shower in August. Anyway, what I’m getting at is that you don’t usually start giving babies purees until they’re six months old. The pear puree was pure mania on my part after a sleepless night, thanks to my new, super fun anxiety.” She sighed dramatically. “Turns out, you can only freeze purees for six months. The math wasn’t mathing, and even though I spilled it all over myself right before I had to leave to get here, I still cried about it. Over puree I couldn’t have even used anyway.”
For the first time in weeks, I laughed, and Jillie’s gaze filled with mirth as she smiled.
“My only actual point, Ireland, is that we’re all just doing our best, and I think your best is exceptional. I see you working your butt off around here.”
Her phone rang, and she held my gaze for a moment before moving to answer it.
Jillie, the woman I’d never seen with a hair out of place, was up with anxiety this morning. How many times had we been up, fretting about things at the same time?
If that wasn’t sisterhood, I wasn’t sure what was.
She hung up and turned her attention to me again. “Ihave an idea, but I need to make some calls first. All right?”
“That would be great,” I managed, hope making my throat tight.
“You know, I thought you were going to ask me about Ari. About her greenhouse project.”
I shifted on my feet. “I…. I figured that was off.”
Jillie’s entire demeanor turned sad, and we shared a look. This time, I didn’t mind letting my grief show because it wasforAri. I wanted to ask Jillie if she knew how Ari was doing, but there was no dumber question, so I didn’t.
“You know, I think she would be happy to have a project to sink into when she’s back in town. She’s still in Bay Springs with her family. I wouldn’t be surprised if you heard from her soon.”
I nodded, unsure of how to respond, feeling like shit about not calling Ari since I saw her at the funeral.
I thanked Jillie as earnestly as I could, then made my way to the locker room, where I stashed my duffel bag in a corner. My phone beeped, reminding me it was time to visit Dad and possibly have breakfast with him, depending on where he was.
I ran a brush through my hair as I opened my locker, smirking when I saw an extra pair of my sweatpants. I threw my brush back into the locker and then walked purposefully back toward the front desk. Jillie was on the phone again, and when she looked up, I tossed her the sweatpants.
She caught them and then pressed her lips together firmly, holding back a laugh. “Thank you,” she mouthed at me.
I nodded, then headed out of the Locc to Zinnia House, only to find that Dad wasn’t in his apartment.
He was in the cafeteria, sitting across from Wilbur, sipping tea and gesticulating wildly as he told some story.
I watched them for a long time from the shadow of the doorway and then turned right back around and went back to the Locc where I danced until I couldn’t breathe.
12
ADAIR
“Is it illegal to sleep on the beach? Has to be, right?”
Beside me, Delly was sprawled out on a beach towel emblazoned with her university logo, mindlessly raking her fingers through the sun-warmed sand.
