“—which, for the record, this is. This is important to me.Youare.”
I exhaled as quietly as possible, hanging on to every word.
“I hate making anyone feel like they need to take care of me.Hateit. Probably because I needed it for so many years growing up and never got it.” He pinched the fabric of his T-shirt, pulling it away from his body as his gaze grew distant, lost in some memory. “Not until Pops and Grams became part of my life.”
The thud in my chest turned into an ache as I imagined it. Adair as a kid. Whatever level of neglect he’d experienced. It turned my anger at our situation to rage for whoever did that to him. “Kids shouldn’t have to ask for care.”
“No, they shouldn’t,” he agreed. “If I’m ever lucky enough to have kids, I will never fail them in that way. Not even once.”
A shiver ghosted my spine at his earnest tone, at the actual hope in his voice, and my mind went places it had no business going. Not now, and maybe… maybe not ever.
“How much time do I have left?” he asked with a smile that was only a little bit teasing.
About seven weeks.
I kept that thought inside and shrugged lightly. “I can be flexible.”
His eyes flashed as he looked me over, but then he caught himself and ripped his gaze away.
So polite, this guy.
“Tell me why you didn’t tell me,” I said, steering us to the root of the issue. “I’m interested to know what you thought would happen when you got back here with a cast on.”
To my surprise, he chuckled. “Your brain. I really love it. I’m glad Delly has you in her life now, Ireland. I would’ve killed for her to have a role model like you growing up.”
“You…,” I started, face flaming, “are probably the only one who sees me that way.”
His expression shifted, and he looked almost angry. “Then no one is looking closely enough. But to answer your question,” he said, carrying on before I could react, “I don’t know. I’m really not sure what I thought would happen. This is new for me too.”
This.
We were good at dancing around it.
“What would have been your worst-case scenario? If you had told me, I mean.”
He took time to think through his response. A rare quality that only breathed more life into my regard for him. The flex of his thigh muscle where his basketball shorts had slid up toward him didn’t hurt either.
“You would have felt obligated to care for me,” he said eventually, cutting through my blatant objectification of him. “I’d become another thing for you to have to worry about. I see you, Ireland.” With a soft grunt of effort, he leaned forward, pinning me securely with his intense hazel eyes. “There isn’t a single resident of Zinnia House who has a family member as devoted to them as you are to Beck Sewell. You give himeverything—even when you’re not by his side. I see it.The classes, the work at the Locc, this new job with Ari that’s taken every minute of what’s left. How could I take away from that, especially when I can’t give you anything in return? Especially not now that I’m stuck like this for the next few weeks.”
My nose burned violently, and I scrunched it, forcing the tears back with equal violence. “So, what?” I asked, my voice rough. “You thought I’d just see you come home in a cast and happilyignoreyou?”
He grimaced and rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, no. I just didn’t want you to feel obligated. The timing is just…. It’s bad.”
I cocked my head to the side again. “For what, Adair?”
That stumped him. He opened his mouth, closed it, and then jerked off his glasses to cover his eyes with his hand.
Restless, I stood up from the chair.
His head whipped up, and looking panicked, he hastily put his glasses back on. “Don’t go,” he rasped, scrambling like he was going to try to follow me.
The house was dead silent for three beats. Not a yip from Miss Lenny’s dogs or even the trill of birdsong.
Then I went to him.
Careful to not jostle him on the couch, I sat beside him and took his hand, interlacing our fingers and resting them in my lap. He let out a shaky breath while his thumb immediately started stroking the top of my hand.
We sat like that for a long time, letting everything we’d said—and everything we didn’t say, weren’treadyto say—simmer around us.
