“She did,” I said quietly, sadness for Bree filling me.
Cody wore his pain openly, the despair for his best friend—his family—so obvious before he shook himself from it, his eyes clearing slowly. “I also saw my dad. We worked out together, and I think…,” he trailed off, breaking eye contact and shifting uncertainly again. He turned and leaned against the wall at his back. “I think I’m, uh—” He licked his lips, then pitched his voice lower. “I think I’m getting better, LL. Or I will be. Soon. Maybe.”
If that didn’t just break my heart.
“I have plans now,” he continued. “Ideas. Fucking… prospects, at least.” He looked at me seriously, but the edge of uncertainty remained palpable in the way he kept shifting and jostling the phone.
His gaze held mine, though.
I didn’t immediately respond. I thought it over, letting my feelings and instincts guide me again.
“Dezi,” I started. “Are you comfortable?”
He frowned at me, his nose wrinkling adorably. “Not really.”
“Can I help you become so?”
The question lingered as he licked his lips, and I did the same, remembering the taste of them, but then he nodded.
I performed a quick scan of the beach, confirming I was still alone. The sun had already set, and I was sitting comfortably on an oversized, thick beach blanket sparsely lit by some lanterns that ran the length of the beach access bridge several yards behind me.
“Okay, Dezi,” I began, then adjusted the phone so he could see me from my chest up. “I seem to recall you saying you prefer instructions?” I phrased it as a question and waited for his nod of confirmation before continuing, “Good. Breathe with me.”
It only took him a few long inhales and exhales to sync his breath completely with mine, and once he had, I spoke again. “Now. Drop your shoulders just a little more.”
He complied on our next exhale, and we stayed like that, breathing together for several more repetitions.
When his gaze became glassy, I knew it was time.
“Cody?”
“Hmm?”
“Tell me something good about yourself.”
He held in his next inhale, but I trooped on, my heart racing as I took the first gamble. “Would it help if I gave an example of what will happen when you answer?”
He released the breath harshly, no doubt sensing the edged excitement in my question. “Yes.”
Holding his gaze, I slowly unzipped my jacket.
Cody’s lips parted as he watched, his eyes darting to my face, then to my tattooed hand and back up, never staying focused on either of them for more than a couple of seconds. I reached the end of the zipper and let one side of the jacket slip down my shoulder.
“Fuck,”he muttered harshly under his breath. Then he leaned closer to the screen.
I took a deep breath, having never stopped the exercise, and smiled faintly.
And then I waited.
I breathed, and I waited.
Cody’s eyes darted down my body again. “I…,” he started and then stopped, a pained look crossing his features. “I—fuck,Liem.” His gaze darted past me as if he could see beyond the frame of the video. “Are you safe there?”
“I am, I assure you.”
He tilted his head, and I smiled at his incredulity before adding, “I promise.”
I barely registered the sound of the crashing waves, entirely tuned in as I was to every expression that crossed his face and broadcasted in his body. He kept his gaze fixed on my bare shoulder as he blew out a breath. The slightest wrinkle formed on his forehead as he thought. When he eventually raised his chin just the slightest bit and moved his gaze to my eyes, I knew he was ready.
