The words were so incongruous that Fieran didn’t even know how to respond. It wasn’t like Merrik to use family to needle someone, but who knew where his head was at?
Fieran gave a forced, rough chuckle. “Ha, ha. Very funny.”
Merrik just kept staring at him, his jaw and eyes hardening further. “I would not joke about something like that.”
Oh.Oh.He was serious.
Fieran spun away from Merrik, running a hand through his hair. Merrik and…Adry? Kissing? When he’d asked Adry to look after Merrik, this wasnotat all what he’d meant.
He glanced at Merrik. “You…and Adry.”
That bristling stance was back in Merrik’s posture. “Yes.”
Fieran swiped his hand over his face, dropping his gaze. The next words out of his mouth would either heal or break his friendship with Merrik. Sure, Merrik wouldn’t use family for a joke, but he wasn’t above using his relationship with Adry as a test.
Adry and…Merrik? Fieran tried to get it to compute. Merrik was like a brother to them. Sure, he wasn’t actually related by blood. But still. It was just…weird.
And yet not. Merrik was family already. Fieran couldn’t think of anyone more honorable, more worthy, to court his sister. He certainly couldn’t question if Merrik would treat Adry right.
Fieran forced an easy grin as he turned back to Merrik. “Good. That’s…good.”
Merrik’s stance finally eased. It was only a fraction, but at least it was a start.
“Pip and I are courting.” Fieran tried to keep his tone light, as if they were just having a normal conversation as they would have before.
“Finally.” Merrik relaxed another fraction. He gestured down at the wooden contraption and bag Uncle Iyrinder had been carrying. “Could you grab those?”
“Sure.” Fieran hurried to heft both items, all too aware of the lingering tension.
Merrik strode across the platform, his gait unfamiliar even if he was walking mostly steadily. He hesitated at the edge of the platform, lowering his right foot—the pant leg on that side glowing slightly green as Merrik used his magic—down first as if he wasn’t sure his feet would hold.
Fieran waited, close enough that Merrik could reach out a hand to steady himself if needed, although Fieran didn’t offer or presume to grab Merrik’s arm. This seemed like something Merrik needed to do himself, even if Fieran had to tighten his grip on the items in his hands to resist helping.
As they set off across the grass, Fieran matched Merrik’s slower pace. Neither of them spoke as they made their way down the road toward their tents.
By the time they neared Merrik’s tent, Merrik was breathing slightly hard, his face tightening again, this time with pain. At the platform beneath the tent, Merrik hesitated once again. He tried to step up, but he wobbled, reaching out a hand.
Fieran hurried to position himself next to the step, and Merrik planted a hand on Fieran’s shoulder. Fieran held still as Merrik levered himself up.
Once Merrik stepped into the tent, Fieran followed, maneuvering the bulky items in his grasp inside without knocking Merrik over.
Merrik sat on the cot, massaging his right leg, his shoulders hunched.
Fieran set down his burdens in the corner before he sank onto the single chair next to the table across from the cot. He barely kept himself from asking if Merrik was all right. “Is there anything I can do? Anything I can fetch?”
“No.” Merrik’s tone was short, his shoulders going tense again.
Fieran braced himself. No putting this off any longer. “I’m sorry. For the crash.”
“It was not your fault.” Merrik’s words were clipped, his head still bowed as he massaged his leg.
“Perhaps the crash wasn’t my fault. But I’m sorry for all the times I was reckless, and you were the one who got hurt because of it.” Fieran swallowed at the lump in his throat. “I dragged you into the army—”
“That wasmychoice.” Merrik’s words held a heat as he shot a glare at Fieran. “Do not take away my part in that.”
“Yes, but I didn’t even consider that you would make another choice besides join up with me.” Fieran rubbed his sweaty palms on his thighs. He needed to get this apology right. Not just because he wanted things to go back to the way they were, but because he wanted this friendship to be better than it was. Merrik deserved that. “I always just assumed you’d follow wherever I led. I should have listened to you. Or perhaps followed you for a change. I’m sorry.”
For too many years, Fieran had treated Merrik as his sidekick. Someone who existed only to follow him around.
